H O P E

A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. If you have air in your lungs and blood in your veins you have hope. Hope is what drives the human mind to move forward in life. When faced with a rather grim situation, hope is that agent that brings positivity to it, making us believe that things HAVE to get better. Hope is ALL we have, without it we have no reason… we have nothing. Humans have a limited time on this planet and we have to make the best of what we have and look to the positives in our lives. We do not know what tomorrow holds, but we hope that whatever is in store for us will be favorable. Hope is making the best of what you have, so that you can have a better outcome for tomorrow. When life gives you lemons, you make a lemon drop and plant the seeds so you can get more lemons in the future. ;)  ... It takes YEARS for a lemon tree to begin to produce lemons ...  hope is the same way. You should never give up on the tree because you do not know when that tree will bless you with the fruits of your labor (hard work)... When you have hope you should never lose it because once it pays off it will be all the more fulfilling.

Hope can be difficult to hold on to when all things seem lost. When people go through depression or a traumatic experience, it may seem that there is no way you can recover from it. However, somewhere in the back of one’s mind we have to believe that things will change for the better. BELIEVING that you will overcome the obstacle is half the battle. Once you have the mindset that things will get better, they HAVE to. If you hit rock bottom, there is nowhere else to go but up. Having hope will allow you to see beyond your current predicament into the future. One’s mind set can be the difference between one’s failure and one’s success, when you think you cannot do something chances are you will not reach that goal. When you reach this crossroads say to yourself, “Try, try again, and NEVER say ‘I can’t.”  Simply saying these words to yourself will affect your mentality toward the situation. It will make all the difference in your outcome and stops you from throwing in the towel.

Who remembers all of the controversy surrounding the Winter Solstice of 2012? The end to the Maya Calendar, or in other words the end of the WORLD? How many of us stopped our lives because we were betting on the fact that we were going to die? The Maya Calendar ended and some INTELLIGENT people took this as the world was going to end … but the majority of us, “normal” people still went about our lives and prepared for our futures. … we had hope. Granted not everyone believed that the world was going to end, but if everyone had, things would have been very different. Had we lost that hope, everyone's lives would have been in chaos, no one would have prepared for the day after. What we hope for tomorrow determines what our actions will be today. During this event I was finishing up my LAST semester at university, had I believed the world was going to end, I would not have bothered to get my education. However I had hope that the world was not going to end, as a result I secured my future by earning my degree.

We do not know what our future holds, and when we begin to think about our future we make a choice about how to pursue that life path. We think about what career will make us feel fulfilled. Once we begin to pursue that career path we hope that it works out for us. The reason we form ideas and construct dreams is because we have hope. We hope that they will one day come true, and that the future will be better than the present moment. There are no simple roads to success and when we hit a brick wall we look to the power of HOPE to see us through that rough patch. Without having hope, we would give up LONG before reaching or even realizing our potential. Some say babies are a blank slates and we learn basic things in life from walking to learning, and how to communicate, but if we gave up every time we fell no one would know how to walk. Throughout our life we WILL fall down, and having hope is what helps us get back up. If you fall 6 times you HAVE to get up 7 times, those 6 falls do not matter, it is the seventh rise that matters the most! Don’t nobody wanna stay down!   

Even when we hope with every fiber of our being, there will be times where all of our hope will be for nothing, and disappointment settles in where that hope once stood. That disappointment is not the “end,” but it is an opportunity to LEARN. We are not perfect human beings, there are many things that are in our control and if we have made the wrong decisions it is up to us to learn from our actions. Hope keeps us motivated, and it give us a reason for living. Our very existence is not based on a promise, but it is based on having hope for tomorrow and living for the future.

~Dream. HOPE. Future.

You Want Some Fries With That?!

Complaining, we all do it. We complain about the things that don't go our way, we complain because we are expected to do things we do not want to do and in the midst of bitching about life we forget about the blessings and we also forget that it could be worse. We need to be mindful about how we express our 'misfortunes' to those around us. Not everyone has the same blessings as you do. There are many material objects in our lives that we complain about either because it is too slow or is not working properly, yet there are some people in the world that do not have such luxuries. It is much easier to point out the bad things that are going on in our lives, I am one of those people and I know that I need to work on looking at the positives in my life. We all need to be more grateful and need to be more present despite what doesn't go our way. Be thankful to still be alive, every day that you’re not six feet under is a great day. Make it an effort to be more grateful for the positive things in your life and stop complaining. Appreciate more, complain less.

I was talking to a friend of mine, we were telling each other about our day and I began to complain about all of the work I had to do and how busy life is. Then, my friend stopped me and said "at least you have a job." I was stumped by how they put me in check and it was true, at least I was blessed to have a job. I was ashamed that I was ungrateful about my job when my friend has been looking for a work unsuccessfully. To my friend it seemed I as though I was looking for some pity or seeking outside gratification for the hard work load, but I should have empathetic. They pointed out that my reality could have been much worse. At least I had the means to pay for rent, food, and utilities with my job which I took for granted.

Taking things for granted, complaining about the blessings you already have and wanting MORE, can you be any more greedy?! A lot of people are fortunate enough to have the basic necessities for life, yet, they tend to worry about the things they do not have and it’s not until we lose something that we realize its value. We never really know what we have until it is gone, only then do we realize that we WERE blessed. Why is it that we become cognizant of our fortunes when it's too late? We don't have to pass up the opportunity to be grateful. We have the capability to see the good in our lives, we just need to make more of a point to see what we have. We shouldn't be retrospectively thinking about how good we once had it, we should take a moment to be grateful for what we have now, in the present moment. Aside from the basic needs for survival, everything else is a material THING that we can live without  Do not create attachment to THINGS; work on being present. When you become aware that you are missing an object, focus on the present moment. Do not lose energy on missing someTHING, use that energy on what you DO have.

People are never satisfied, they ALWAYS want fries on the side. We trick ourselves into thinking we never have enough and if things don’t go our way we believe that we are essentially ruined. We have grown to own more than we even have space for, yet in our our minds, that is STILL not enough. When you are overflowing with “stuff,” you still complain about how you can get something better. Even if you know you will be full with the main course of the meal you STILL want your fries. You overload your stomach with food, but when you finish you complain about how you ate too much. If you’re complaining about gas prices, think about the people that can’t afford to own a car. If you’re complaining about your phone and want to upgrade think about the people who do not even have a phone or a butt to wipe their toilet-paper on.

Go ahead, complain. It’s not going to get you anywhere. You may not realize it but there are many things to be grateful for instead of complaining about the small stuff. To live a positive and happy life you have to train your mind to focus on the things that are going “right” and NOT the things that are going “wrong.” Remember that materialistic things are items you can live without. The important thing is that you are alive. Be more alive and be more present. Be grateful for your fortunes, even when you are dwelling on the negatives in life.

When you find yourself complaining about life, let it out and let it go. There comes a point when you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and look at the glass as being “half full.”

New Beginnings

The new year approaching! There are so many things racing through my mind and so many things that I wanted to accomplish this year. Time is constant, life continues regardless if you finish a task or not. While it is important to try and reach your “finish line” you must understand that not everything will go as planned and you should make room for adjustments otherwise you will only be focusing on the failures. New Years is a perfect time to focus on new beginnings and start fresh. Don’t worry about what you did not accomplish instead learn from it. Those things are not within your reach and you can’t go back in time to change anything. The best thing you can do is look on the bright side and appreciate the goodness in your life.

Look at the past year and all that you have accomplished, and set new goals as you move forward. It’s important to reflect on the past, but don’t get stuck in it. There is a lot you can learn from studying the past, it doesn’t hurt to look back and accept the things you weren’t so proud of, they will help you make better decisions in the future. At the same time, there isn’t much you can do to change it either so you must accept it as it is and keep on keepin on. The only way to move forward is to come to terms with what’s happened and understand that it’s okay to fail. Reflecting on the past allows you to separate the good from the bad, now it’s up to you to decide what to do with this information. You can either dwell on the negative and feel bad or you can absorb the positive and be happy for what you DO have, feed off that energy to help you create more positive moments in your life.

Come the new year, goals will be the first things you write down so don’t forget to make them SMART ones! You remember what those are right? Of course you do. But just to recap, a SMART goal is one that is much easier to achieve because it is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. That’s not to say if your goal isn’t SMART you won’t achieve it, it will be much harder. Even after you’ve made your goal a SMART one, you may be wondering, “what if I fail to follow through with one of my goals?” If you are already doubting yourself, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. There will already be plenty of things working against you, don’t add yourself on the list of things that hold you back. Learn from where you failed and see how you could improve this time around. And remember, if you learned something valuable even when you didn’t reach your finish line, your hard work wasn’t in vain.  

Start this new year with positivity. You do not know what the new year will bring, so welcome it with a positive attitude. It’s ok to feel uncertain and afraid of uncharted territory, if you live life everyday thinking negatively, you’re only calling upon more negativity into your life. You don’t know how tomorrow will turn out so it’s important to receive the day with open arms, an open mind and the kind of attitude that will bring you positivity. Take one day at a time and view this year as a new beginning, as a chance to do better than yesteryear.  

Don’t worry about how you ended the year, you can’t change what’s happened, you can only learn from it. Stay positive as you look forward to achieving every goal you have set for yourself. Worry about what you are doing NOW to reach your goals. Your “new beginning” starts whenever you make it happen not when the clock hits 12. Don’t stand idly and hope that the new year will bring what you want, you have to be willing to put in the effort to begin the year with a new positive outlook and work to attain your dreams. Make it your task to bring good, positive things to yourself.

Learn from the past, live in the present, hope for the future.

How to be a Better Person: Stop Lying to Yourself!

No one is perfect. We all can improve in one way or another, but the only way we can begin to think about being a better person is becoming more self aware. We must learn how we react in different situations, what our strengths and weakness are and look at how our actions affect those around us. Once we do that, we have to think about what we can change to become a better person. We are forever changing and there will always be room for improvement. Being a better person is a goal that I am constantly striving toward but there are always hiccups along the way that make it seem difficult to accomplish this goal. I have come across so many people who are not ready to accept the fact that they are not perfect, they have trouble coming to terms with not being right. We live in a culture that when we are less than perfect we are shunned and looked down upon. Accepting your flaws, and realizing that you are not perfect is the highest form of humility that anyone could express and there is nothing wrong with that. When we are put into the category of being a “good” or a “bad” person, that is based on what others think of us. We cannot control what others think, but we can work on being the best person we can be. No matter your age or your walk of life, you can always learn something from someone no matter how young or how old they are. You can only learn something when you are humbled enough to realize that you have room for improvement and listen to those around you.

What are some characteristics that make a person “bad”? Anger? Jealousy? Impatience? Gossip? Being mean? Just being plain RUDE? These characteristics live in all of us, we need to take notice of these characteristics in our lives so that we can address them and become better people. The trick is not to ignore them but we need to learn how to control these emotions. Do not suppress them, they will find another way to get out when you least expect it. To address these emotions in a constructive way you need to find another outlet. For some, the perfect outlet is meditation, journaling, going for a walking or working out. Everyone has their own way of coping with things and your job is to figure out what your coping mechanism is. Channel that energy into something productive. In order to be a good person you need to make it a priority to spread positive energy to everyone, (even people you don’t like) because what you put out in the world is what you get back.

What are some characteristics that make a  person “good”? Kindness? Compassion? Empathy? Helping others? Trustworthiness? Humility? All of these also live within each and everyone of us, but what matters is what we chose to cultivate and feed. The only thing we can do is to offer the world and those in it the very best version of ourselves, and hope that the life choices we make force us to become better people. In order to do this we need to identify where there is room to improve and listen with our whole heart to those around us. For me, I know that I could show more kindness to people that are complete strangers. When I am out, I usually do not talk to folks around me, I keep to myself and do what I have to do. Recently I tried something different, I struck up a conversation with a woman I did not know. We did not talk about anything important, but I hope I made a difference in her day, because I know she made a difference in mine.

Another major component in becoming a better person is listening to others, and be willing to make changes in your life. Granted, people do not always tell us what we want to hear, but it is what we make of the information that is important. When I am confronted in this situation, I reflect and I take the positives and learn from what the other person had to say. When I am approached by a fellow peer about something they find concerning, I sometimes get upset but I remind myself that they are only saying it to better the situation at hand. Once I accept what the other person is saying to me, the next step is to work on my personal development to become better. This personal development can only happen if people around you are willing to give you feedback in a constructive way, and it is crucial that you yourself are willing to receive it. If you are not willing and ready for that feedback it may not end well, causing the process to take much longer.

Being a better person is a never-ending process. You have to listen to yourself through self reflection, journaling, meditation etc.. You will also have to think about the people around you because when you are around positive, happy people, you too will be positive and happy. They feed off of your positivity and happiness, making it a win-win situation for all. When we have this positivity and happiness in our lives it makes it easier to to confront our flaws head on. We are not perfect people, we need to stop lying to ourselves and thinking that we can be. Once we accept this fact, we are able to open our minds to the feedback of those around us and begin to reinvent ourselves for the better.

So if you want to be a better person, listen to your peers with an open mind and the understanding that they want to help you. Reevaluate your person and find where you can improve.

~Be the best.

When You Point One Finger, There are Always Three Pointing Back!

Play the victim, go ahead, try it. When you point a finger at others, you are too busy concerning yourself with the flaws of others, when you have flaws of your own. You gain nothing from blaming others, you are just trying to shift the blame to someone else. Don’t blame your issues on others, there are so many things that we as individuals can improve on, we should not have time to worry about what is going on with someone else. That constant, “they did this to me,” or “I am like this because..” will not help anyone. No one became rich by crying about how poor they were. There comes a point where you have to stop pitying yourself, and expecting pity from others. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, but you can choose to be the victim and cry, or you can rise above your issues and make the best of the situation. There have been so many times when I have wanted to give up and be the victim because it felt like everyone and everything was working against me. Playing the victim is not beneficial to anyone, it would not have gotten me anywhere. You could sit in the corner and wait for your knight in shining armor to come and save you, or you can make your own armor and save yourself.

We all love a good “underdog” story, because the underdog makes their own armor. These stories give us hope and faith; that we too can make it, and that the world is not that bad. Those “underdog” stories would never happen if the underdog was focusing too much on what’s wrong in their life. You can either focus on all the things going wrong or you can look to what can be done better to overcome all the negatives in your life. Playing the victim only works for a little while. What are you going to do when everyone can see right through that? It may work the first few times, but eventually people will stop responding to your call, just like The Boy Who Cried Wolf. When that time comes you are going to have to get your isht together and pave your own way. No one else can deal with YOUR problems other than you. When you point one finger at someone, what are the other three saying to you? They are asking YOU, what YOU are going to do about it? You have enough energy to blame another, now what’s your plan to do better?

Be independent, do not let what has happened to you in the past define who you are and dictate your future. All you can do is focus on being the best version of yourself, and overcome the obstacles in your path. Wasting your time focusing on negative energy is pointless, it will not get you anywhere. You have to learn not to fixate on the negative and take responsibility for your own situation. So the next time you find yourself pointing the finger, look at the many things that you could do to transform that situation into a fruitful experience. Don’t blame others for something that you have the ability to fix.

What's Your Vibe?

We have all had those days where every little thing gets on our nerves and every little thing is just irritating. I am here to tell you that acting on those impulses is a total waste of energy. There are many types of energy, we have negative and positive energies just to name a few. If you are positive and happy that is what you will get back, and if you are negative and sad that is what you will get back. If you smile, the other person will smile back, and they will pass that smile on to another person creating a domino effect. If you are having a terrible day, turn it around, you have the power to change your mood. Our moods are contagious. What you give is what you get back. Try to make the world a better place. Be kind. What do you want in your life, positive or negative energies?

A few months ago, I was driving home from work. On my way I needed to make a right turn, and in order to make a safe right turn I had to inch forward into the crosswalk. As I was inching forward a jogger came out of no where and began to yell at me for blocking “his” crosswalk. I do not understand why the jogger felt like he needed to yell at me, how much energy (not to mention negative energy) did he waste by yelling at me versus quietly jogging around my car? The way I see it is no one got hurt and he got a few extra steps in. I could have let the jogger’s rotten mood affect the rest of my day, but I just laughed it off and moved on. Perhaps the jogger had a bad day and was jogging to blow off some steam, I just happen to be at the tail end of his frustration. What did the jogger accomplish by yelling at me? My car didn't move and he went around me. Did he think about how his actions were going to affect me? I hope he felt better!

Right after that little incident, someone decided to cut me off. I could have gotten mad and honked, yelled and even flipped the bird, but I chose not to. If I got mad what would this have accomplished? I cannot go back in time and stop this person from cutting me off and no one got hurt, so why waste my energy on negative vibes? The same can be said about a simple, harmless look.

We have all been looked at up and down, mean mugged, given dirty looks, whatever you want to call it. This happened to me only a few hours ago, and I couldn't help but wonder what the other person got out of this non-verbal exchange. What satisfaction did they gain from this exchange? Were they trying to assert their superiority or intimidate me? Whatever the case may be, it does not change the fact that they sent negative vibes my way. Why couldn't the other person smile or exchange a friendly hello? This little interaction was a reflection of them, and the type of person they are. I do not pay much attention to people when they do this, but the other person does not know who I am or what I am going through or what I am capable of. What If I was having a rough day, and this non-verbal exchange set me off into the “deep-end”? There is no telling what could have happened. As Plato once said, “Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

~So spread love, smile more.

If Today was Your Last Day...

We all go through that phase where we think that we are invincible, no one and nothing can harm us. But we will all realize that we are all gonna die one day. So, how do you want to be remembered? How will you leave your mark on this world? Life is short! We are always hearing stories of young people losing their lives before making their mark on the world, and that they had so much to live for … but the truth is that we do not know WHEN we are going to die, and who are we to say that this person did not take full advantage of their life. Death is tragic and unexpected no matter what the case may be, old or young, how do we know what kind of life the person lived? Yes, it is unfortunate if a 16 year old loses his/her life but, it is much worse for those of us who are left to deal with the loss, because they are no longer here. However if it is a 95 year old, we do not think twice about how this person got to live a “full” life, we will still miss them but knowing they lived so many years offers us a better form of closure. The number of years that we live does not determine the quality of life we live. As Abraham Lincoln once said “In the end, it’s not about the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” So whether it be 16 amazing years on this planet or 95 long years, make it count! Tomorrow is not a promise so you have to make the best of it.

I recently found out that someone I knew a while back passed away, and naturally I began to think about how amazing this person was. This person was only in my life for a short while, but they left a mark on my life. Their kindness and positivity motivated me to strive and work for what I want out of life. This person will never know the effect they had on me, because I got the inspiration from ONE conversation we had. I can only imagine how this person affected others … this was the single memory of them that had a lasting impression on me, one memory, one encounter in a sea of people who had also been touched by this person. This has got me thinking about the mark I will leave behind. How will I be remembered? I DO NOT live my life according to what others think. People are going to judge you no matter what you do or say, so I strive to be happy, and as I have said many times before, I want to leave a positive mark on those around me. After I came to this realization, I became more self aware of my actions and of my words. I want to be remembered as a kind hearted person because as Maya Angelou once said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Emotions are powerful! Kindness is key to leaving a lasting impression on someone. If you give time out of your day to just listen and to offer some words of kindness others will remember that.

How you live your life is how people will remember you. However you should not live your life based on how people will view you, it is YOUR life and you only get one, make the most of it, be happy. We all get wrapped up in our lives and we focus on our careers so that we can build ourselves up in order to get that promotion, or to buy that new house or car.  All this is important, but we need to balance our lives. We need those things to live in our society. If you do not have money, you do not have the conventional means of survival, yet you also need to maintain your mental health, and cultivate the real meaning behind life. We need to stop and look at what really matters in life, we need to cultivate the relationships that mean the most. Quality over quantity, focus your energy on something that feeds your soul. Invest your time into parts of your life that make you enjoy living, time is precious! Don’t waste it.

Death is inevitable, you have a choice in how you live and let live, the trick is to be you, and do no harm to others. Leave a positive mark, inspire others to be the best they can be, and they will remember you for that. You never know when you are going to pass away so make sure to always create positive, fruitful memories with the ones you care about. Spend your time carefully, do not let another second pass you by and feed quality moments to your life. Live every day like it’s your last.

~Be happy and don’t dwell on the past, live in the present and welcome the future with open arms.

Cyber Bullying - Bet You Can't Say it to My FACE!!!

There have been countless times where I have gone on Youtube to watch a video and I’ll scroll down to see what others have thought about the video. As I am looking at the comments I almost ALWAYS encounter some type of hate. Why is it that people sitting behind a screen feel it is ok to say whatever they want to someone else, even when it is less than kind? What satisfaction do they receive from inflicting hurt onto others? I was instilled with the value that If what I have to say is not nice then I should not say anything, that value does not go out the window when I am sitting behind a computer screen. Even when giving feedback to others, you have to do it with kind words, individuals receiving the feedback are more likely to be more receptive. Keep your negative comments to yourself, they are not helping anyone and you just look like a dum-dum.  

When you are watching a video on Youtube … guess what? You can exit out of that video if you are not enjoying it. There is no law that says you NEED to leave a hateful comment or a comment at all. If you have beneficial feedback, then by all means leave a comment, however if you have nothing better to do than to hate on others go figure out what YOUR issues is. The hater has the comfort of hiding behind the computer screen, but there has to be some deeper meaning behind why the hater feels compelled to hate on someone else … Why are you spending so much energy on a negative comment? One should try to spread positivity. On top of that, more often than not, the person leaving a hate comment has nothing to offer. Being negative does not help anyone, if anything it just puts everyone in a bad mood. The internet allows people to hide behind a mask so that they do not have to confront their issues head on. They can do and say whatever they want without having to deal with the consequences of their actions. When you break things down, the hater or hate in general, is not a part of the solution, hate is not constructive at all. Edith did a post on being apart of the solution and not the problem, if you have not read it yet please check it out here.

Recently I was watching a music video that a local artist put up and someone went so far as to calling this person, “an idiot.” The artist has the right to express himself however he wants, and I am sure he was not even bothered by the comment … But me? As a third person looking in, I was completely disgusted. What makes this person feel it is ok to say these words to someone? I cannot tolerate when someone throws kindness out of the window and I often think to myself, would they have the nerve to say it to the person’s face? So I decided to go see what the name caller had to offer the world … and wouldn't you know it? This person did not even have a single video up … so what gives them the right to call another person, who is following their passion, an Idiot!?! If the hater has a problem .. then move on … watch another video … YOU DON’T HAVE TO LEAVE A COMMENT … what a concept. :O

When it comes to hate, I do not understand why it exists because we are ALL HUMAN!!!!! We all get cut the same way, and we all bleed the same way! Granted some of us have developed “thick skin” over time, when someone says hate has never affected them they are lying! At one point or another hate has gotten to us, but we have all survived. As a result we all know how sh*ty it can feel when hateful words are used against us, (check out my post on words.) so why is it that some want others to feel just as bad as they did? If you can honestly say you have never experienced hate to the same magnitude, then just think how you would feel if you were in the other person’s shoes? And if you cannot imagine it, then talk to the person, find out how they felt.

If you feel that you absolutely HAVE to say something, then learn how to give feedback! Learning how to give feedback can be used in all aspects of your life, not just on the internet. The first step is trying to figure out exactly “what” it is you are offering your two cents on. Then second and most important is to make sure that the other person is ready and willing to receive feedback. Once that is established move to action, in the last step seek agreement, work toward common grounds or make suggestions. Giving your feedback does not always have to be mean and hateful, there are other positive ways that you can convey your message. Giving feedback using the tips that I have laid out shows the other person that you actually care about their well being and want to see them succeed, which makes them more receptive to your opinion.

So leave hate on the other side of the door …in fact chuck that sh*t in the dumpster! … Where it belongs!

~Love not hate.

Words Don’t Hurt, The People Who Say Them Do

Words have power, only if you allow them to. Not everyone realizes how much their words can affect others. You do not know what someone else has been through in their lifetime, so you do not know exactly how your words will affect them. I believe that actions speak much louder than words If someone just says something to me, I do not waste my time worrying about it until I see some action, but that is just me. For example, flowers versus saying, “I missed you today,” think about the difference in the two scenarios, how would YOU feel? Read more in my post, “Words Whisper, Actions Shout.” There are those incidences when all it takes are a few words to ruin my entire day. Those words feed on my insecurities and when another person points them out it feels like someone punched me in the gut. However I soon realize that at the end of the day I am the only person that I need to worry about, I am the only person that needs to be concerned with my own happiness and not allow the negative words from others affect me in such an extreme. Think about it, do the words alone have power? Or do you give the person saying them the power? Who are the people in your life that have that power over you? Why do they have that power?

Words will have an affect on you in one way or another, depending on who they are coming from. Whether that be someone close to you or a person you rarely, if at all, speak to. I can think of many times when the words of a person close to me have been hurtful, but I have come to learn that I should not let those few words undo my whole day. I know that they have my best interest in mind and they are only saying it to help me out. However, when a person I do not really know says something nasty to me I just chalk it up to them being buttmunches (yes that is a technical term), so I let it roll off my shoulder, like water on a duck’s back.

There are also the words that come in the form of holy scriptures. Those words are relevant because we place value on them and we place value because someone at some point said that we should. I am not saying that holy scriptures are unimportant, they are very important because they help us develop our morals and tells us what is right from wrong. When it comes down to your actions and what morals you have developed as a result of those words you choose what actions to take.

So what are words really? Words are only made up of the meaning WE give them, we define them, therefore we allow them to affect us. It’s like that quote, “Don’t let people’s compliments get to your head, and don't let their criticism get to your heart.” Never let someone else’s words affect how you live your life, or how you want to live it. Be humble when someone pays you a compliment, that just means you are doing something right, and when someone criticizes you learn from it but do not fixate on it for too long. One should strive to only spread positivity, so use only kind words.

~Be kind

If You Aren’t Part of the Solution, You’re Part of the Problem

We live in a world where arguments arise over who is right and who is wrong. Some people stand up for what they believe in, while some turn a blind eye depending on the topic. It’s probably no surprise that whenever there is a massive issue or problem to be solved nothing seems to get done. I have witnessed when people constantly fail to be part of the solution by not acting or participating to find answers. This passivity leads to the prolonging of the issue itself. In this particular post I want to talk about the lack of participation in general as being part of the issue.

Take voting in the US for example. When elections come around it is crucial to participate. Despite people losing hope by saying that their vote does not matter, the fact still remains that their vote in deed does count. There are always groups of people with similar missions to better the world around them who are actively seeking solutions, and then there are people who are making it difficult to progress. To those who say that “one vote will not make a difference,” just think, if the rest of us say the same thing, how will this affect everyone? What progress will be made? NONE!!! And at the end of the day the conclusion affects everyone.

Your voice and participation is important, don’t let others trick you into thinking it’s not. Never give up your chance to speak up about anything in life because it’s best to contribute positively than to sit back and watch everything unfold without your say. If you say nothing you are not helping anyone, not even yourself! Do not just sit there and let life happen to you, take control of your life! You determine your outcome! So get up off your lazy arse!  

So, as my good friend David Berry would say, “If you’re not part of the solution, get your useless ass out the way!”

XenaWarrior

A.K.A Edith

A.K.A Former Mosquito

KARMA: Just Sit Back & Watch

“What goes around, comes around,” but what does that really mean? We hear people talking about Karma all the time, this is a more simple definition. When looking at the origins of Karma we must look at Indian Philosophy. Karma differs a little in each one of the eastern religions, but the word itself means “action,” or “deed.” Your actions now determine what will happen to you in the future. Karma gets more complex when you start talking about rebirth, because the concept of time is not linear as we know it in the western world. The basic idea is enough for our purposes.

With a little background out of the way, I am here to say that when someone does bad to you take the high road, do nothing. Whenever someone makes me upset because of their actions, I can choose to get mad and seek revenge, or I can think nothing of it and move on because I believe that one day they will get what is coming to them. Yes I have a story, of some instant Karma, are you ready? Well back in highschool there was a vicious rumor going around that I was a bit of a bully :O … I know right? But there was a staff member that thought he was going to do something about it, so he kept me after everyone else. I was not scared, I just wanted to see what was going to happen next. So he and I began to walk down a long flight of stairs, and he said to me, “I heard that you are a bully?” and my response was, “Really?” Then he said, “what are you going to do if I do this?” as he gave me a small push, and at the exact same point in time he almost fell down the stairs. I looked at him, and said, “absolutely nothing” as I gave him a smile. The story does not end there. He then asked me one more time what I was going to do if he pushed me yet again, and once again, he almost fell down the stairs. This time I said nothing and let him do it a third time, and yes you guessed it he almost fell again. After the third time, he looked at my face and said, “why?” My response? you might ask, it was simply, “Because, I believe in Karma.” needless to say, this guy NEVER messed with me again. This is a perfect example of where I could have gotten mad and all defensive but I chose not to because in the end he was going to get what was coming to him even if I did nothing.

Another great example of karma can be seen in  … are you ready for it? …  “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets!” If you have not seen the movie or read the books, shame on you! .. haha just kidding. If you know what I am talking about, you get EXTRA brownie points (***To cash in your points leave a comment below ;-)***) and if not here is a little summary just for you! One of the Professors at the school, Gilderoy Lockhart, is a famous author that has written many books about his extraordinary adventures. Later on in the story we find out that Lockhart is a fake, he used a spell to make the other wizards lose their memories so that they couldn’t tell his secrets. His bad karma decided to kick in toward the end of the story, when he uses a broken wand to wipe Harry and Ron’s memory, but it backfires and wipes his own. KARMA!!!

My point is you do not always have to be the one to seek revenge, the universe, or greater power (whatever you believe) will figure it out in the end. If someone does something wrong to you just learn from it and move on, you do not need to put your mind through any unnecessary stress. (I did a post on forgiveness, check it out  here.) Just think good and do good, and you will get just that in return. It is not about what people think of you, what it IS however, the way you feel about you. If you put a positive energy out, you will get a positive energy in return.

~Ta Ta

The Power of a Smile

Staring … its normal, we all do it. Human beings are social animals, therefore we are naturally curious.  I am aware that in some cultures around the world looking at others is the norm and no one minds it. I don’t like when people stare at me, but I know I do it too. The breaking point for me is when the “looker” is aware that I have caught them staring and they don’t stop. Some people immediately turn away in discomfort or give a friendly smile or if they are in earshot range just say a friendly “hello.” How do you react when you catch the person glaring at you or if you’re the one to get caught? The simple hello and/or smile breaks the ice and lets you know that the other person meant no harm.

Which brings me to my recent staring encounter. I was on the BART (rapid train) this weekend and I caught a couple staring at me, they would exchange a word or two and revert their attention to me. Mind you, I am not the only person on the train so I don’t know what was so intriguing to them. I’m not one to care unless I get a bad vibe, but I wanted to see what they would do if I focused my gaze back in their direction. It seemed to do nothing and I think it was because they were engaged in conversation, making my attempts of outstaring them futile. However, in most occasions the gaze is an invitation to engage with another soul and display your energy. This can be a beautiful experience and it shouldn’t be wasted.

When you smile you automatically neutralize any misconception of your personality or mood. Smiling at somebody allows them to feel comfortable. It’s something you do when you want to show that you are happy. But how do you handle a cold response? The way I handled the situation on the BART was to not mind, in the end I know I shouldn't mind it because the person is just a stranger. Another aspect to think about is the fact that we don’t know how people are feeling. Everyone’s day is different, some might have a bad day while others might have a good one. The point in general is that you shouldn’t feel upset if you don’t get a smile in return. If you smile, at least you offer the friendly invitation for someone to smile back, if they don’t respond it’s not on you. Who knows that person could be the next president or your soulmate?

If YOU are the person that is feeling upset and giving off negative energy, most likely you won’t want to smile. However if someone smiles there is a slight chance that they may help you feel better. It’s important to let positivity into one’s life so one can carry on. Your day is only as positive as you allow it to be. Make the effort to smile even when upset. Doing so will send positive energy into your environment and will bounce back.

The next time someone makes eye contact with you, though it may be a little intimidating, try to at least acknowledge them, it really doesn’t hurt. Step out of your comfort zone a little and try to have a friendly conversation with a complete stranger. Remember, your actions toward others can set off feelings in them and you want to give off positive vibes.

With that being said I will leave you with this TED talk. Enjoy!

:D SMILE :D