Try, Try Again and NEVER Say, “I Can’t”

“I can’t.” These are the words I heard out of my student’s mouth as she was looking for a word in the dictionary. She did not say it once, not twice, but she said it three times. I could not understand why those two little words, “I can’t,” irked me so much. I was not going to let her give up so easily. Every single word is in the dictionary, she just needed to look harder, and no matter how long it was going to take her, I was going to keep pushing her until she got it on her own. As she was looking I tried to figure out why hearing her say, “I can’t” bugged me so much, then it occurred to me that I was taught NEVER to say those two little words. Those two words set you up to fail, if you THINK you cannot do something then you will not, it is that simple.

When I was in the second grade (about the same age as my student) my teacher, Mrs. Tanner, made us say, “Try, try again and NEVER say, ‘I can’t,’” every single morning ritualistically. As the school year went on, I began to say these words with more and more confidence. However, I still did not fully understand the power and meaning those words carried, or how they have shaped the person I have become. I was a bright-eyed second grader and I did not know what the world had in store for me. Because Mrs. Tanner drilled me not to say, “I can’t,” it never really occurred to me how damaging the words really are, and to a great extent a lot of my success is because she taught me to believe in myself. Whatever I set my mind to, I know that I can accomplish it. Many years in the making the light bulb finally went off and I have Mrs. Tanner to thank for that. That moment, with my student was a realization for me, I FINALLY realized what Mrs. Tanner was trying to teach me all of those years ago.   

Whenever I feel like I cannot do something or feel I like complaining about things, I always say to myself, “mind over matter.” Our problems and obstacles are only as big as we make them. The words “I can’t” disable you mentally, your mind believes that you cannot do something and if your mind believes it, it will be harder to achieve that task. Thinking these words stop you from even trying, it sets you up for failure before you even begin. When you say that you CAN do something, that is one step closer to actually accomplishing the task at hand. If for whatever reason you did not complete the task, then you can walk away knowing that you have done everything that you could. If you believe that you cannot do something from the beginning, then there really is not a point in trying any further. You can set yourself up for success or you can sit on your A$$ and let things blow up in your face … It’s your choice.

I told my student the story of my second grade teacher, and as I was doing so, I hope that she will one day understand the value of, “Try, Try again and never say ‘I can’t.’” One day I too hope that I will have the same impact on all of my students as Mrs. Tanner had on me. As time goes by, I hope that my students will one day remember me and the lessons that I thought them. If Mrs. Tanner is still out there I hope that I will be able to share this story with her, so she can know the impact she had on me as well as all of the other students she touched. Going through life is not about what we cannot do, but it is about what we set our minds to and accomplish. I hope that by writing this article the wise words of Mrs. Tanner will continue to impact others.

~Say, “I can’t” one mo’ time … and watch whaz gon happen!  

You Want Some Fries With That?!

Complaining, we all do it. We complain about the things that don't go our way, we complain because we are expected to do things we do not want to do and in the midst of bitching about life we forget about the blessings and we also forget that it could be worse. We need to be mindful about how we express our 'misfortunes' to those around us. Not everyone has the same blessings as you do. There are many material objects in our lives that we complain about either because it is too slow or is not working properly, yet there are some people in the world that do not have such luxuries. It is much easier to point out the bad things that are going on in our lives, I am one of those people and I know that I need to work on looking at the positives in my life. We all need to be more grateful and need to be more present despite what doesn't go our way. Be thankful to still be alive, every day that you’re not six feet under is a great day. Make it an effort to be more grateful for the positive things in your life and stop complaining. Appreciate more, complain less.

I was talking to a friend of mine, we were telling each other about our day and I began to complain about all of the work I had to do and how busy life is. Then, my friend stopped me and said "at least you have a job." I was stumped by how they put me in check and it was true, at least I was blessed to have a job. I was ashamed that I was ungrateful about my job when my friend has been looking for a work unsuccessfully. To my friend it seemed I as though I was looking for some pity or seeking outside gratification for the hard work load, but I should have empathetic. They pointed out that my reality could have been much worse. At least I had the means to pay for rent, food, and utilities with my job which I took for granted.

Taking things for granted, complaining about the blessings you already have and wanting MORE, can you be any more greedy?! A lot of people are fortunate enough to have the basic necessities for life, yet, they tend to worry about the things they do not have and it’s not until we lose something that we realize its value. We never really know what we have until it is gone, only then do we realize that we WERE blessed. Why is it that we become cognizant of our fortunes when it's too late? We don't have to pass up the opportunity to be grateful. We have the capability to see the good in our lives, we just need to make more of a point to see what we have. We shouldn't be retrospectively thinking about how good we once had it, we should take a moment to be grateful for what we have now, in the present moment. Aside from the basic needs for survival, everything else is a material THING that we can live without  Do not create attachment to THINGS; work on being present. When you become aware that you are missing an object, focus on the present moment. Do not lose energy on missing someTHING, use that energy on what you DO have.

People are never satisfied, they ALWAYS want fries on the side. We trick ourselves into thinking we never have enough and if things don’t go our way we believe that we are essentially ruined. We have grown to own more than we even have space for, yet in our our minds, that is STILL not enough. When you are overflowing with “stuff,” you still complain about how you can get something better. Even if you know you will be full with the main course of the meal you STILL want your fries. You overload your stomach with food, but when you finish you complain about how you ate too much. If you’re complaining about gas prices, think about the people that can’t afford to own a car. If you’re complaining about your phone and want to upgrade think about the people who do not even have a phone or a butt to wipe their toilet-paper on.

Go ahead, complain. It’s not going to get you anywhere. You may not realize it but there are many things to be grateful for instead of complaining about the small stuff. To live a positive and happy life you have to train your mind to focus on the things that are going “right” and NOT the things that are going “wrong.” Remember that materialistic things are items you can live without. The important thing is that you are alive. Be more alive and be more present. Be grateful for your fortunes, even when you are dwelling on the negatives in life.

When you find yourself complaining about life, let it out and let it go. There comes a point when you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and look at the glass as being “half full.”