“I can’t.” These are the words I heard out of my student’s mouth as she was looking for a word in the dictionary. She did not say it once, not twice, but she said it three times. I could not understand why those two little words, “I can’t,” irked me so much. I was not going to let her give up so easily. Every single word is in the dictionary, she just needed to look harder, and no matter how long it was going to take her, I was going to keep pushing her until she got it on her own. As she was looking I tried to figure out why hearing her say, “I can’t” bugged me so much, then it occurred to me that I was taught NEVER to say those two little words. Those two words set you up to fail, if you THINK you cannot do something then you will not, it is that simple.
When I was in the second grade (about the same age as my student) my teacher, Mrs. Tanner, made us say, “Try, try again and NEVER say, ‘I can’t,’” every single morning ritualistically. As the school year went on, I began to say these words with more and more confidence. However, I still did not fully understand the power and meaning those words carried, or how they have shaped the person I have become. I was a bright-eyed second grader and I did not know what the world had in store for me. Because Mrs. Tanner drilled me not to say, “I can’t,” it never really occurred to me how damaging the words really are, and to a great extent a lot of my success is because she taught me to believe in myself. Whatever I set my mind to, I know that I can accomplish it. Many years in the making the light bulb finally went off and I have Mrs. Tanner to thank for that. That moment, with my student was a realization for me, I FINALLY realized what Mrs. Tanner was trying to teach me all of those years ago.
Whenever I feel like I cannot do something or feel I like complaining about things, I always say to myself, “mind over matter.” Our problems and obstacles are only as big as we make them. The words “I can’t” disable you mentally, your mind believes that you cannot do something and if your mind believes it, it will be harder to achieve that task. Thinking these words stop you from even trying, it sets you up for failure before you even begin. When you say that you CAN do something, that is one step closer to actually accomplishing the task at hand. If for whatever reason you did not complete the task, then you can walk away knowing that you have done everything that you could. If you believe that you cannot do something from the beginning, then there really is not a point in trying any further. You can set yourself up for success or you can sit on your A$$ and let things blow up in your face … It’s your choice.
I told my student the story of my second grade teacher, and as I was doing so, I hope that she will one day understand the value of, “Try, Try again and never say ‘I can’t.’” One day I too hope that I will have the same impact on all of my students as Mrs. Tanner had on me. As time goes by, I hope that my students will one day remember me and the lessons that I thought them. If Mrs. Tanner is still out there I hope that I will be able to share this story with her, so she can know the impact she had on me as well as all of the other students she touched. Going through life is not about what we cannot do, but it is about what we set our minds to and accomplish. I hope that by writing this article the wise words of Mrs. Tanner will continue to impact others.
~Say, “I can’t” one mo’ time … and watch whaz gon happen!
