My Way is THE Right Way

Who gets to decide what is right and what is wrong? … NO ONE and EVERYONE! We all have our own opinions and we have our own ways of accomplishing a task. There is no right or wrong way and there is always time to listen and learn to use that knowledge constructively. There are those few people in our lives that insist on being difficult and we wish we could knock some sense into them. These people tend to think they know EVERYTHING and they have a strong will power to be stubborn and always HAVE to be right. These people never even try to meet you half way, even if they let you state your opinion, it’s like talking to a wall. You know they are going to do whatever it is they want to do anyway. Change can be difficult and if we are used to doing things our own way, it is harder to learn to let go of our norm. If we do not succeed, we will draw a wedge between ourselves and the people around us. No matter how young, old, green, or blue we owe it to one another to really listen. We need to take the input from others when we can, so that our perspective on life becomes more complete. If we are too intent on looking through our own lens all the time, we will never see the complete picture. We must listen to others so we can get a glimpse through their lens.  

Whenever I come across people who do not take the time to look through others’ lens, I tend to think of these people as people with “BIG HEADS.” Let me make this clear, they do not physically have big heads. They have big heads in the sense that they think they are too important and too smart to listen to us common folks, their pride gets in the way. They believe that they do not HAVE to listen to what other people have to say. When I find myself in this type of situation I tend to shut down, and I try to limit my interactions with this person because I do not feel they value me or our relationship. They push me away, making me feel unimportant. People like to feel important, the moment they feel any different is when respect walks out of the door. Others will not stick around if they feel they are getting any less than what they deserve. When the BIG HEAD gets in the way, they cannot see beyond their own scope. They can only see the black and white, they do not see all of the shades of grey. If they ever stopped to listen (and I mean REALLY listen) to the people around them, they may gain another perspective. Hopefully they will begin to see the other shades of grey… and maybe even some color.

Everything is evolving, ideas evolve, technologies evolve and people evolve. New “discoveries” are always challenging the status quo and changing how we view the world. With anything that’s “new” people might have difficulty accepting it as a part of their reality. In medieval times when people used to believe that the Earth was flat, the concept of Earth actually taking a spherical form was unbelievable. Many people did not agree nor did they accept this reality. There are even people TODAY that still believe the Earth is flat, don’t take our word for it, go look it up for yourselves!! We all have our beliefs and whenever someone tries to challenge them, we shut down and refuse to listen to the nonsense that others are throwing our way. However, we need to be able to step away from those beliefs, even if it is for a moment, so that we can see something beyond ourselves. When it came to the shape of our world, it was hard for people to see past what they had been taught their entire lives. Whether or not you believe the world is flat is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, what is relevant is if you took the time to educate yourself on the subject matter before shutting down the idea entirely. Today, it is widely accepted that the earth is round and we do not challenge this sentiment, but I am sure that many of you do not know the other side of the argument, or even knew that the other side existed. So, step outside of your bubble, do research and learn as much as you can, if it is one thing that no one can ever take away from you it is your knowledge.

Willingness to listen to others and to change will make for more opportunities to engage with others and broaden your perspectives to add your pool of knowledge. You have your own opinions about the world but being a hard wall to talk to will most definitely bring about unproductive encounters with those around you. I do not like to engage in conversation with someone who doesn’t grasp anything other than what they know. If they are unwilling to open up their mind to the world around them and listen to others, they will lose the opportunity to learn. Whereas if they open up their minds and try to learn new things they will be able to contribute to society in a more functional way. Imagine how much more productive of a society we could be if more people were willing to try new things, think outside the box and actually take risks in order to better their situation. If everyone were WILLING to listen, the possibility of more people working together to find common ground and working on issues that matter would be significantly greater. Sometimes we need to set aside our beliefs of the things we know to understand something we have no idea about. We can’t always know everything and it’s ok to not know everything. We always have room for improvement but it starts with the willingness to take on the attitude that you CAN learn and continue to expand your knowledge.

Be OF this world, not just in it.

You Want Some Fries With That?!

Complaining, we all do it. We complain about the things that don't go our way, we complain because we are expected to do things we do not want to do and in the midst of bitching about life we forget about the blessings and we also forget that it could be worse. We need to be mindful about how we express our 'misfortunes' to those around us. Not everyone has the same blessings as you do. There are many material objects in our lives that we complain about either because it is too slow or is not working properly, yet there are some people in the world that do not have such luxuries. It is much easier to point out the bad things that are going on in our lives, I am one of those people and I know that I need to work on looking at the positives in my life. We all need to be more grateful and need to be more present despite what doesn't go our way. Be thankful to still be alive, every day that you’re not six feet under is a great day. Make it an effort to be more grateful for the positive things in your life and stop complaining. Appreciate more, complain less.

I was talking to a friend of mine, we were telling each other about our day and I began to complain about all of the work I had to do and how busy life is. Then, my friend stopped me and said "at least you have a job." I was stumped by how they put me in check and it was true, at least I was blessed to have a job. I was ashamed that I was ungrateful about my job when my friend has been looking for a work unsuccessfully. To my friend it seemed I as though I was looking for some pity or seeking outside gratification for the hard work load, but I should have empathetic. They pointed out that my reality could have been much worse. At least I had the means to pay for rent, food, and utilities with my job which I took for granted.

Taking things for granted, complaining about the blessings you already have and wanting MORE, can you be any more greedy?! A lot of people are fortunate enough to have the basic necessities for life, yet, they tend to worry about the things they do not have and it’s not until we lose something that we realize its value. We never really know what we have until it is gone, only then do we realize that we WERE blessed. Why is it that we become cognizant of our fortunes when it's too late? We don't have to pass up the opportunity to be grateful. We have the capability to see the good in our lives, we just need to make more of a point to see what we have. We shouldn't be retrospectively thinking about how good we once had it, we should take a moment to be grateful for what we have now, in the present moment. Aside from the basic needs for survival, everything else is a material THING that we can live without  Do not create attachment to THINGS; work on being present. When you become aware that you are missing an object, focus on the present moment. Do not lose energy on missing someTHING, use that energy on what you DO have.

People are never satisfied, they ALWAYS want fries on the side. We trick ourselves into thinking we never have enough and if things don’t go our way we believe that we are essentially ruined. We have grown to own more than we even have space for, yet in our our minds, that is STILL not enough. When you are overflowing with “stuff,” you still complain about how you can get something better. Even if you know you will be full with the main course of the meal you STILL want your fries. You overload your stomach with food, but when you finish you complain about how you ate too much. If you’re complaining about gas prices, think about the people that can’t afford to own a car. If you’re complaining about your phone and want to upgrade think about the people who do not even have a phone or a butt to wipe their toilet-paper on.

Go ahead, complain. It’s not going to get you anywhere. You may not realize it but there are many things to be grateful for instead of complaining about the small stuff. To live a positive and happy life you have to train your mind to focus on the things that are going “right” and NOT the things that are going “wrong.” Remember that materialistic things are items you can live without. The important thing is that you are alive. Be more alive and be more present. Be grateful for your fortunes, even when you are dwelling on the negatives in life.

When you find yourself complaining about life, let it out and let it go. There comes a point when you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and look at the glass as being “half full.”

Words Don’t Hurt, The People Who Say Them Do

Words have power, only if you allow them to. Not everyone realizes how much their words can affect others. You do not know what someone else has been through in their lifetime, so you do not know exactly how your words will affect them. I believe that actions speak much louder than words If someone just says something to me, I do not waste my time worrying about it until I see some action, but that is just me. For example, flowers versus saying, “I missed you today,” think about the difference in the two scenarios, how would YOU feel? Read more in my post, “Words Whisper, Actions Shout.” There are those incidences when all it takes are a few words to ruin my entire day. Those words feed on my insecurities and when another person points them out it feels like someone punched me in the gut. However I soon realize that at the end of the day I am the only person that I need to worry about, I am the only person that needs to be concerned with my own happiness and not allow the negative words from others affect me in such an extreme. Think about it, do the words alone have power? Or do you give the person saying them the power? Who are the people in your life that have that power over you? Why do they have that power?

Words will have an affect on you in one way or another, depending on who they are coming from. Whether that be someone close to you or a person you rarely, if at all, speak to. I can think of many times when the words of a person close to me have been hurtful, but I have come to learn that I should not let those few words undo my whole day. I know that they have my best interest in mind and they are only saying it to help me out. However, when a person I do not really know says something nasty to me I just chalk it up to them being buttmunches (yes that is a technical term), so I let it roll off my shoulder, like water on a duck’s back.

There are also the words that come in the form of holy scriptures. Those words are relevant because we place value on them and we place value because someone at some point said that we should. I am not saying that holy scriptures are unimportant, they are very important because they help us develop our morals and tells us what is right from wrong. When it comes down to your actions and what morals you have developed as a result of those words you choose what actions to take.

So what are words really? Words are only made up of the meaning WE give them, we define them, therefore we allow them to affect us. It’s like that quote, “Don’t let people’s compliments get to your head, and don't let their criticism get to your heart.” Never let someone else’s words affect how you live your life, or how you want to live it. Be humble when someone pays you a compliment, that just means you are doing something right, and when someone criticizes you learn from it but do not fixate on it for too long. One should strive to only spread positivity, so use only kind words.

~Be kind

If You Aren’t Part of the Solution, You’re Part of the Problem

We live in a world where arguments arise over who is right and who is wrong. Some people stand up for what they believe in, while some turn a blind eye depending on the topic. It’s probably no surprise that whenever there is a massive issue or problem to be solved nothing seems to get done. I have witnessed when people constantly fail to be part of the solution by not acting or participating to find answers. This passivity leads to the prolonging of the issue itself. In this particular post I want to talk about the lack of participation in general as being part of the issue.

Take voting in the US for example. When elections come around it is crucial to participate. Despite people losing hope by saying that their vote does not matter, the fact still remains that their vote in deed does count. There are always groups of people with similar missions to better the world around them who are actively seeking solutions, and then there are people who are making it difficult to progress. To those who say that “one vote will not make a difference,” just think, if the rest of us say the same thing, how will this affect everyone? What progress will be made? NONE!!! And at the end of the day the conclusion affects everyone.

Your voice and participation is important, don’t let others trick you into thinking it’s not. Never give up your chance to speak up about anything in life because it’s best to contribute positively than to sit back and watch everything unfold without your say. If you say nothing you are not helping anyone, not even yourself! Do not just sit there and let life happen to you, take control of your life! You determine your outcome! So get up off your lazy arse!  

So, as my good friend David Berry would say, “If you’re not part of the solution, get your useless ass out the way!”

XenaWarrior

A.K.A Edith

A.K.A Former Mosquito