What Good Am I If I Do Not Help?

What is the value of one's life if they cannot see beyond their own pathetic little lives. Our lives are so small and insignificant that we do not have the option of being self centered. People who do not touch the lives of others are forgotten because they are too busy thinking about themselves. Had Martin Luther King Jr. only thought about himself, we would still be living in segregation. Had Mahatma Gandhi not stood up against injustices, we would still be fighting our oppressors with sticks and ammunition. Had Cesar Chavez not spoken out for workers’ rights, we would still be working for dirt. Had Sophia Auld not taken the time and risked her reputation to teach Frederick Douglass how to read, we would not have a narrative of a slave in American history. Where would we be without all of these amazing people? We could be here all day... year... if I continue to name more. One thing these people have in common is that they all were looking beyond their own lives and worked to make life better for everyone around them. King knew the dangers of what he was doing, but he stuck with it because he knew he could make a difference in the world. Gandhi knew how powerful the British were and he could have easily moved to another country, but he stood his ground and fought. Chavez knew that it was going to be a long and hard road to gaining basic human rights for farm workers, but he stuck with it and fought to the end. Auld knew that no one would approve of her affection for a slave, but she taught Douglas how to read and write anyway.

Human kindness. What does it mean? It means helping whomever, whenever you can. I am at a point in my life where I am trying to figure out what I can do to make it a fulfilling one, and I know that in order to make it a fulfilling one I need to help people. If I knew that I could do something to make someone else’s life better and I chose not to take action to help, I would constantly be wondering if I could have made a difference. Whenever I witness someone turning a blind eye when I know they are fully capable of helping someone, I feel disgusted in humanity. What is our purpose if we are not here to help those who are in need? Yes, it is true that we need to help ourselves before we can help others, but where does it end and where does it begin? Together we are much stronger than we will ever be alone. It takes a village to raise a child and we need to apply the same mentality when it comes to helping those around us.

Do something nice for someone. It doesn’t cost you an arm and a leg to make someone else's day. The main idea behind being truly kind to someone is to better their day without expecting a reward. Acts of true kindness build your character, it shows that you want to do something out of the honesty of your own heart and nothing more. Do what you can to help; if there is a sink full of dishes, wash them, if there is a person about to cross the street wait for for them, if there is a person asking for help, help them however you can. If anyone is in need of a little help, you could be the difference in their lives. Don’t worry about what they do with it, if you know you did what you could then you did your part, and you will know it wasn’t for lack of human kindness.

Not too long ago I was on my way to buy myself a mop, (cuz lord knows I needed it!) and I came across a little old lady who dropped her canned goods out of her shopping bag. We were walking in 95 degree weather and it was extremely windy, as a result she was having trouble controlling her shopping cart. I saw her struggling so naturally, I stopped to help her For me helping her was a no brainer. I was on a time crunch I need to get my mop and go, but I knew that if I helped her it would only take up 2 minutes of my time, and she too would be on her way much quicker. Once I was done helping her she looked at me and simply said, “Thank you, you just made my day.” Her 7 little words at the end made my day as well. When I stopped to help her I did not stop to seek some type of reward, but it was satisfying that my presence and helping hand was enough to turn someone’s day around. I then began to think what good am I if I cannot help the people around me? What kind of person would I be if I turned my back on another being in need?

~Do what you can no matter who is watching. Every little bit counts.

You Want Some Fries With That?!

Complaining, we all do it. We complain about the things that don't go our way, we complain because we are expected to do things we do not want to do and in the midst of bitching about life we forget about the blessings and we also forget that it could be worse. We need to be mindful about how we express our 'misfortunes' to those around us. Not everyone has the same blessings as you do. There are many material objects in our lives that we complain about either because it is too slow or is not working properly, yet there are some people in the world that do not have such luxuries. It is much easier to point out the bad things that are going on in our lives, I am one of those people and I know that I need to work on looking at the positives in my life. We all need to be more grateful and need to be more present despite what doesn't go our way. Be thankful to still be alive, every day that you’re not six feet under is a great day. Make it an effort to be more grateful for the positive things in your life and stop complaining. Appreciate more, complain less.

I was talking to a friend of mine, we were telling each other about our day and I began to complain about all of the work I had to do and how busy life is. Then, my friend stopped me and said "at least you have a job." I was stumped by how they put me in check and it was true, at least I was blessed to have a job. I was ashamed that I was ungrateful about my job when my friend has been looking for a work unsuccessfully. To my friend it seemed I as though I was looking for some pity or seeking outside gratification for the hard work load, but I should have empathetic. They pointed out that my reality could have been much worse. At least I had the means to pay for rent, food, and utilities with my job which I took for granted.

Taking things for granted, complaining about the blessings you already have and wanting MORE, can you be any more greedy?! A lot of people are fortunate enough to have the basic necessities for life, yet, they tend to worry about the things they do not have and it’s not until we lose something that we realize its value. We never really know what we have until it is gone, only then do we realize that we WERE blessed. Why is it that we become cognizant of our fortunes when it's too late? We don't have to pass up the opportunity to be grateful. We have the capability to see the good in our lives, we just need to make more of a point to see what we have. We shouldn't be retrospectively thinking about how good we once had it, we should take a moment to be grateful for what we have now, in the present moment. Aside from the basic needs for survival, everything else is a material THING that we can live without  Do not create attachment to THINGS; work on being present. When you become aware that you are missing an object, focus on the present moment. Do not lose energy on missing someTHING, use that energy on what you DO have.

People are never satisfied, they ALWAYS want fries on the side. We trick ourselves into thinking we never have enough and if things don’t go our way we believe that we are essentially ruined. We have grown to own more than we even have space for, yet in our our minds, that is STILL not enough. When you are overflowing with “stuff,” you still complain about how you can get something better. Even if you know you will be full with the main course of the meal you STILL want your fries. You overload your stomach with food, but when you finish you complain about how you ate too much. If you’re complaining about gas prices, think about the people that can’t afford to own a car. If you’re complaining about your phone and want to upgrade think about the people who do not even have a phone or a butt to wipe their toilet-paper on.

Go ahead, complain. It’s not going to get you anywhere. You may not realize it but there are many things to be grateful for instead of complaining about the small stuff. To live a positive and happy life you have to train your mind to focus on the things that are going “right” and NOT the things that are going “wrong.” Remember that materialistic things are items you can live without. The important thing is that you are alive. Be more alive and be more present. Be grateful for your fortunes, even when you are dwelling on the negatives in life.

When you find yourself complaining about life, let it out and let it go. There comes a point when you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and look at the glass as being “half full.”

Why Give Gifts?

There have been countless times where I have been asked what I would like for Christmas, or my birthday and my answer is always the same, “nothing.” As a child this question was much easier to answer, I wanted it ALL, the Sun, the Moon, the stars, the entire Universe at my disposal. However, over the years I have discovered that what I want cannot be bought. I already have the Sun, the Moon, the stars, and the Universe is within me, yet I will never grasp them. “Things,” “objects,” everything external to us will never be a part of us, our minds arrive at the conclusion of how we feel about a particular object, our minds attach a value to the object, the object itself does not have value on it’s own. As children we are unable to supply things for ourselves, we are under the care of our parents, therefore it is a lot easier to answer the question. Once we get older we become more self sufficient, and we do not look to others to purchase things that we can get ourselves. Gifts that you receive from people you care about are priceless. As cliche as it sounds, it really is the thought that goes into the gift, even a $5 gift can mean the world to someone, if given with love and the right intentions. It is always nice to receive a gift from someone unexpectedly, it is the thought that overwhelms the receiver with gratitude. I have come to realize that I cannot put value on material things over, friendship, kindness, and love. I cherish the relationships with the people I care about in my life because I cannot receive friendship, kindness, and love from mere objects.

During the holiday season we can hope and wish that we get that cool new tablet, that cool new TV and whatever else it is people want these days. We need to learn how to be happy with whatever we receive this holiday season. The person that got you something, took the time out and made the effort to purchase YOU something, they didn’t HAVE to get you anything. Simply thinking about getting a gift for someone, shows that the person plays a significant role in one’s life. So do not dwell in WHAT is given, but think about WHY it was given, you will walk away feeling loved.  

The price of a gift is irrelevant. Just think back to when you were a child in grade school, remember the countless items you made for your mom, and she actually kept EVERYTHING? That is the power of a gift. My mom was going through some of her things recently and she showed me some pins I made out of clay in the first grade. Now, I don’t even remember what I was trying to make on the pins, but she kept them, as poor and messed up as they looked to ME, she kept them. Those pins had no value whatsoever, and truth be told I didn’t think my mom would keep them for longer than a month or two but all these years later she still has them. Even if they were the ugliest pins in the world she kept them because they came from me, her daughter. Making those pins did not cost me a single penny, but my mom still loved them, because they were a handmade gift from someone she loves and cares about. A gift can mean so much more when there is a shared experienced between the person receiving it and the person giving it. If there is a valuable shared moment represented within the object regardless of the price, the value it holds is what’s most important.

I go through life getting to know people and looking to share experiences and I expect nothing in return, so when I do receive something from someone I am always in shock even if it happens to be my birthday. I do not even need to open the gift to see what is inside, just the thought that someone put in the time to buy something for me gives me an amazing feeling of being loved and cared for. I am always grateful of the people in my life who are willing to got that extra mile just to put a smile on my face. People who expect too much are the ones that walk away disappointed, if you are not expecting anything the surprise always makes you feel better. If you want something for yourself, you should work hard to get it on your own. Do not rely on or expect someone else to get you what you want. If someone gets you something you really wanted without you hinting at it, you will be overwhelmed with joy because that person knows you THAT well and cares enough about you to gift you something you actually wanted.

Some may ACT happy when receiving a gift, only to spare the other person’s feelings, but that goes against the spirit of gift giving. When you give a gift, you give it because you want to give it, not because you HAVE to. When you shop for a gift, you have to put thought into it, you cannot simply expect the other person to fall head-over-heels in love with whatever you put before them. Whatever thought went into a gift it will not go unnoticed. When I give a gift to someone I love to sit and watch their reaction. That moment when they open up the package to reveal it’s contents is what is engrained in my mind, seeing a smile lets me know that this person appreciates what they got. Understanding that it is not about WHAT they got but it is about the THOUGHT that went into giving the gift, is all the more rewarding to both the giver and receiver.

Giving and receiving a gift, is NEVER about the gift itself, but it is about the gesture behind the gift. Whenever I look at and object that someone gave me, I think about the person EVERYTIME I look at it. I am overcome with gratitude and a deep sense of love from the other person.The object itself is irrelevant. The pins I gave my mom were irrelevant, she never wore them but she kept them with care all of these years only because it was given with love. So the next time you give a gift to someone, actually think about the person and put an effort on the gift, your efforts will not go unnoticed. The real gift is the moment shared by two people.

~Happy Hollidays!

Family Holidays

The holidays are just around the corner! Did you make sure to get the turkey? How many are we serving? Will there be enough? What about the presents?! The holidays are just another great way to stress about everything, HOORAY! .. No, let’s remember what the holidays are about, the importance of having your family and loved ones together to enjoy each others company and to catch up. We already spend so much time busy with work and dealing with our own lives that we forget who matters the most, our loved ones. Take the time to celebrate and focus on the good things, and be grateful for the people around you that you love and care about. Realize that the holidays are about appreciating what you have now.

This is the time of the year to let go of pointless grudges, all the pent up emotions will not make for healthy vibes to add to the holiday cheer. Use this opportunity to start smoothing out those rough edges and tying up loose ends. There’s nothing in the world that can’t be ‘fixed’ and it’s better to settle things for the sake of common peace and well being. Grudges are pointless, they lead you to open up a bottle of old negative emotions that can ruin a perfectly good family reunion. Not to mention, they take a toll on your personal peace and well being. Don’t let past issues mess up your’s and your loved ones chance to catch up. Grudges don’t solve a thing, instead focus on creating good memories with the people you love so you have something good to look back on. When you are dealing with hard times, these are the memories you want to come back to, not the grudges.

I think it’s sad when people let greed reign during the holidays. I have been taught that it’s better to give than to receive. I’m not saying it’s not okay to treat yourself or feel excited to receive a present from someone, but that’s not what the festivities are about. The holidays are about giving. Unfortunately, I know people who give to receive and they expect to get some ridiculously expensive gifts in return. If this is the only way for them to feel happy during these holidays then they’ve completely missed the point. When you receive a gift, it’s the thought that counts and not the money spent on the gift. Do not expect to receive gifts, when you do it’ll be a nice surprise. Let gratitude reign over greed!

Materialistic things are not as important as your loved ones so dont waste your time on objects, they won’t be able to give you love and support. Celebrate eachothers presence, it’s not about the gifts! During these holidays appreciate your loved ones and look forward to more joyful moments with them in future gatherings. The experiences you build with your loved ones are priceless. Appreciate each other to the fullest while you still can. Don’t let these family gatherings get SO spaced out allowing the tumbleweed to roll in between. Treasure everyone while you can because if you wait until next year to see them, who knows if the same ones will come back for the next holiday. Be grateful of the folks that are in your life, because there will be a time when they will no longer be there.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it’s gonna melt! In all seriousness, after reading this post, go give your folks a call and tell them just how much you love and appreciate them, this will make them feel so loved :) Don’t be a stranger now!

Happy Family Time!

OH LORD! You Getting OLD!

Another year older, another year closer to death!

For some, that is what birthdays are, however birthdays are meant to celebrate life. I was having a conversation with a woman and she was telling me that as she gets older, she feels that there is no point in celebrating her birthday. For her the excitement is no longer there as it was when she was younger ... it was just another day, another year that she did not meet her life goals. When she said this to me I got to thinking: is this true for me as well? I soon realized that it was! In the years past I have only regarded this day as just another ordinary day, but I was not going to let this happen to me again. It is a choice; I can either look at my birthday as a day closer to death or I can CHOOSE to celebrate this day as an accomplishment of surviving another year. Your birthday is the end of another great year on this Earth and the beginning of another. You have the power to choose what to make of your day EVERY SINGLE day and why should your birthday be any different? I am going to choose to celebrate my life and look to the future with excitement. After all, age is just a number!

I recently had a birthday and this birthday was by far THE best birthday I have ever had, and I think that some of that credit went to how I approached THIS new beginning  … with gratitude. I am grateful that I made it to another year, I am grateful for all of the people that are in my life, I am grateful for my health, I am grateful for EVERY SINGLE “Happy Birthday” message (even the singing message .. you know who you are), I am grateful for all my birthday cards, I am grateful for all of the people who celebrated my birthday with me. I am truly blessed! How you choose to look at things determines the power in the result. When you approach life with gratitude everything becomes more fulfilling, and worth every moment. Your birthday is such a moment where you have the opportunity to stop and reflect about the years past. Look forward to the years to come, and do not worry about your age, or the number of grey hairs you have.

Age is just a number that represents how long you have been on this planet. This number does not speak to your maturity level, your personal accomplishments, or your future goals, so why do we let this number determine what is “OLD,” and dictate how we should feel about ourselves? People mature at different rates and we all have different goals, we are not all the same, we need to stop comparing ourselves to one another. The concept of being old and young is not about a number but it is about how you treat your body, mind and soul as you age. Ultimately “old” vs “young” is about how you feel when you wake up in the morning and not the year you were born. Mind over matter, you are not old unless you think you are old. There are things in your life that you can control and things that are out of your hands. Take control of what IS in your hands: your life! One of the things out of your control is death, and it is also the only thing that is guaranteed (I have said it before check it out here if you have not read it yet). If we all know we are going to die one day and there is nothing we can do about THAT, then why don’t we celebrate life with a positive outlook?

Reaching another birthday is a major accomplishment, think about all your ups and downs in that previous year, and despite all of the bad things that have happened you are still here and standing tall! It is not about how long you have been here, but it is about your attitude toward your birthday. Yes, this is a day just like any other, but EVERYDAY is a blessing and everyday should be approached with excitement and gratitude. There are going to be times when you are in a sh*ty mood but you have to choose to look at things in a positive light, you have the power to make your life what you want. Be happy about the blessings in your life and be grateful about the good things that did happen.

So, when you have YOUR birthday, I hope that you will remember this post and not let the moment pass you by, stop and reflect and be grateful. After all, life is only a limited time offer, so take advantage of it!

~ Be grateful for another year.