“Adulthood.” Fake it 'Till You Make it.

Do we actually “grow up” or are we just trying to fool everyone around us into believing that we are functioning adults? Unfortunately, life did not come with a user’s manual. Society makes everything up and it is society that shapes the way we act according to our age. As we get older we gain responsibility and we gain maturity, but we are all different and we will all change at different rates. When we grow older we become mature, without even knowing it, but when it comes to how we feel about ourselves we never FEEL any different. (We did a post a while back on birthdays, and getting older if you want to read more on that subject just click here … do it now … but read it after you finish this!) Society, parents, aunts, and uncles tell us that we are supposed to act a certain way because of our age. There have been many times in my life where loved ones have approached me with questions to try and validate my “adulthood.” I have graduated university, and have supposedly entered the “real world,” but I am still that little kid, walking into a classroom full of other kids and not knowing what to expect. Yup I said it I do not have a single clue as to what I am doing, no matter how put together I seem.

When I was attending university, I was taken aback by something my mentor said to me. We were working through some grueling material that seemed next to impossible, but when we asked our mentor why she was making things so difficult for us, her answer was a simple one. She began to explain that if she set the bar higher than was expected, we will work as hard as we can, getting as close to that bar as humanly possible. If we did not make it there, it’s ok because chances are we made it higher than she expected us to. This made total sense to me because I have always looked to this quote by Les Brown in times for inspiration, “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.” Now, you must be wondering why I am bringing up this story .. well the reason is, reaching adulthood is the exact same thing. When life throws us different responsibilities, we must rise to the occasion. The reason we do not feel the full extent of being an “adult” is simply because the waves of responsibility are generously spaced out. We are forever changing, eventually we will be fully assimilated into adulthood, reaching the bar … whether we realize it or not. When those waves are hitting us, we do not think of it as becoming an “adult,” it is simply doing what we need to do in order to survive. When my mentor set the bar high, she did so, knowing that we would do whatever was in our power to reach that bar.

For many, age is a major milestone in one’s life. Reaching 18, 21 or 65, just to name a few, is something that many people celebrate with great pride, and I agree it should be! However, age is just a number, it does not speak to your maturity level and the amount of responsibility you have. When you reach adulthood you have to become mature, and you will inevitably accumulate responsibility, whether it be a mortgage, or parenthood or something as small as paying your cell phone bill. However, the things that we enjoy doing for fun will not change so easily. I have always enjoyed sitting down with my sketch book and seeing what I could come up with, or playing the occasional video game, or just acting stupid with my friends. These things may seem immature and childish to some but we are who we are, and we do what we need to do in order to make it in this game we call “life”. Growing older is out of our control, but what we make of our lives from day to day is completely and totally in our control.

Time is out of our hands, it will move forward no matter what we do or say, but do not lose the current moment, because you will never be who you are in this current moment again. You cannot stop the “growing-up” from happening, so you have to take the best out of it.

~With all of that, and a box of chocolates … NEVER forget what it is like to be a kid!

OH LORD! You Getting OLD!

Another year older, another year closer to death!

For some, that is what birthdays are, however birthdays are meant to celebrate life. I was having a conversation with a woman and she was telling me that as she gets older, she feels that there is no point in celebrating her birthday. For her the excitement is no longer there as it was when she was younger ... it was just another day, another year that she did not meet her life goals. When she said this to me I got to thinking: is this true for me as well? I soon realized that it was! In the years past I have only regarded this day as just another ordinary day, but I was not going to let this happen to me again. It is a choice; I can either look at my birthday as a day closer to death or I can CHOOSE to celebrate this day as an accomplishment of surviving another year. Your birthday is the end of another great year on this Earth and the beginning of another. You have the power to choose what to make of your day EVERY SINGLE day and why should your birthday be any different? I am going to choose to celebrate my life and look to the future with excitement. After all, age is just a number!

I recently had a birthday and this birthday was by far THE best birthday I have ever had, and I think that some of that credit went to how I approached THIS new beginning  … with gratitude. I am grateful that I made it to another year, I am grateful for all of the people that are in my life, I am grateful for my health, I am grateful for EVERY SINGLE “Happy Birthday” message (even the singing message .. you know who you are), I am grateful for all my birthday cards, I am grateful for all of the people who celebrated my birthday with me. I am truly blessed! How you choose to look at things determines the power in the result. When you approach life with gratitude everything becomes more fulfilling, and worth every moment. Your birthday is such a moment where you have the opportunity to stop and reflect about the years past. Look forward to the years to come, and do not worry about your age, or the number of grey hairs you have.

Age is just a number that represents how long you have been on this planet. This number does not speak to your maturity level, your personal accomplishments, or your future goals, so why do we let this number determine what is “OLD,” and dictate how we should feel about ourselves? People mature at different rates and we all have different goals, we are not all the same, we need to stop comparing ourselves to one another. The concept of being old and young is not about a number but it is about how you treat your body, mind and soul as you age. Ultimately “old” vs “young” is about how you feel when you wake up in the morning and not the year you were born. Mind over matter, you are not old unless you think you are old. There are things in your life that you can control and things that are out of your hands. Take control of what IS in your hands: your life! One of the things out of your control is death, and it is also the only thing that is guaranteed (I have said it before check it out here if you have not read it yet). If we all know we are going to die one day and there is nothing we can do about THAT, then why don’t we celebrate life with a positive outlook?

Reaching another birthday is a major accomplishment, think about all your ups and downs in that previous year, and despite all of the bad things that have happened you are still here and standing tall! It is not about how long you have been here, but it is about your attitude toward your birthday. Yes, this is a day just like any other, but EVERYDAY is a blessing and everyday should be approached with excitement and gratitude. There are going to be times when you are in a sh*ty mood but you have to choose to look at things in a positive light, you have the power to make your life what you want. Be happy about the blessings in your life and be grateful about the good things that did happen.

So, when you have YOUR birthday, I hope that you will remember this post and not let the moment pass you by, stop and reflect and be grateful. After all, life is only a limited time offer, so take advantage of it!

~ Be grateful for another year.

TROUBLESHOOTING HAPPINESS

Do you ever get that feeling where less things seem to move you? A feeling of apathy towards everything around you? I am currently dealing with this issue in my life. This did not just occur to me, I have been feeling this way for while. It’s a bit concerning since I’m finding less enthusiasm for the things that used to bring me joy. When I was younger I remember having more immediate reactions upon having a birthday celebration, or getting gifts but that is not the case anymore. I attribute this partly to aging and the number of things that one has to worry about as an adult. As a child the most simplest of things can bring you joy because the world is new, whereas when you get older it becomes clockwork.

Currently I am trying to make an effort to have a more positive response when I’m supposed to, as opposed to lacking a reaction. I keep replaying a scenario over and over and trying to narrow down the meaningful parts in any given situation, with this I hope to clear the path enough so my feelings can be easily triggered. I think it’s working. I doubt I’m the only one who is going through this, so if you are dealing with this similar issue, I understand you. I know it’s difficult to enjoy every second of your life when there are factors that take a toll on your happiness like anxiety, depression, stress from work, paying bills on time and dealing with the simple stresses of living.

Like everything in life, the key is balance. When you know that you will be facing stressful times, find the things that make you react in positive ways and incorporate them more into your life. For me, the things that have a positive influence are actually the things money can’t buy such as a smile, laughter, family, and friends. As long as those things are in place I’m less likely to keep falling into that state of apathy, at least that’s been working for me. I hope you can find the “positives” in your life that will bring you back to reality.

Peace out, Love you all :)