Every once in a while it is nice to receive recognition for your hard work, but it is especially nice when you receive something without even expecting it. There have been countless times where I have witness someone doing something and they EXPECT a reward for doing whatever it is that they did. We live in a culture where positive reinforcement is used too often and being kind for the mere fact of being kind is not taught enough. From a young age, if we do something good or something that is favored we will receive some type of reward. For example if you make good grades in school your parents will do something nice for you like buy you that one item you have always wanted, or take you to that one place you have always wanted to go. When that happens people begin to only do things if a reward is already in place. On the other hand, when someone does something nice for us we question the other person’s motives.We question what the other person wants from us and why. With all of that in mind ask yourself this: How do you treat people who have nothing to offer you in return?
We all say that we should treat others how we want to be treated, but do we ACTUALLY do it? I remember a situation at my Junior College, I was walking to lecture on a windy day when I dropped my folder and my papers flew every which way. There were too many people to count walking where I dropped my folder, and not a single person stopped to help me pick up the scattered papers. I remember feeling so small and insignificant, then anger took a hold of me, I began to question how others would feel if they were in my shoes, I am sure THEY would have appreciated the help. Now just to be clear I did not EXPECT anyone to help me but I could not wrap my head around the fact that out of ALL of the people there not a single soul could spare a few seconds to help the girl on the floor picking up her papers. Everyone may have been rushing to their next lecture or to work, or some other obligation, the heart of the reason no one stopped to help me was because no one could see what there was to gain by helping me, they only saw what they would lose: their time. My time was lost, because I had to pick up ALL of the papers on my own, if I had a helping hand I would have spent half of the time picking up the papers. Had someone stopped to help me there would have been gains on both sides. I would have had help with my papers as well as a friendly conversation. The other person would have gone the rest of their day with the satisfaction that they helped someone who really needed it and they would have gained a friend in the process.
You shouldn’t need someone to tell you to do something, if you know that you can play a role in a task that requires attention, do it, and don’t expect a round of applause. If you and a room full of lazies are complaining about the awful stench coming from the garbage can, then take the trash OUT! Doesn’t matter who does it, everyone will benefit. You won’t always be handed a nice reward for taking the trash out, sometimes you won’t even get any thank you’s. However, being proactive when no one else is, sets you apart. If you know there is work to be done, give it your best and hope for the best without relying on shiny badges or gifts to validate your hard work. Humble yourself in all that you do because you can’t say that your work is honest and fulfilling if you’re in it for some kind of formal reward. When you do something without expecting anything in return, your true self shines through. On the other hand when you expect someone to do something in return, it will never be good enough because you will have your heart set on something much bigger and better. When you don’t expect anything, EVERY LITTLE THING someone does for you will fill you with gratitude.
Be kind for the main reason that you CAN BE KIND, it takes more energy to be mean to someone anyway. When you feel yourself thinking about what it is you have to GAIN from someone, stop and try to see what it is that you can OFFER to the other person. How can you make THEIR life better? When you are helping someone that has nothing to offer you it shows the person you are. It shows that you are willing to go that extra mile to make someone else's day. Try it some time you will see that it too, will also offer some fulfillment from knowing that you have done something positive for someone else. Break the mentality of “if-you-have-nothing-to-gain-you-are-wasting-your-time,” I hope that you will see that you actually have more to gain than you know: satisfaction, satisfaction of knowing that you were able to help another living being.
~“No one has ever become poor by giving.” ~Anne Frank
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