CUT THE BULL, Stop Lying to Me!

One of my major pet peeves is when someone gives me some lame, bullsh*t, half-truthed excuse, like I am too dumb to see through the lies. When people do that, it is an insult to my intelligence, and it speaks to their character and what values they hold close to them. I do not and I will never understand people’s need to lie impulsively. What do they gain from lying or telling half-truths? Do they have a fear of what the outcome may be? If so they cannot control it anyways, so why lie? The truth always has a way of coming to the surface, whether we know it or not.

There have been countless times where I have been lied to and I know that I am being lied to, but I choose to say nothing. I cannot control what people say or do, but I can control my reaction. However, there is still that little voice in the back of my head that is still wondering why that person lied, what are they afraid of? What are they hiding? Did I do something to offend them?  When it comes to understanding liars, it is not about what can be gained, but it is about what is being covered up out of fear for the truth. I have been lied to about tiny things such as the texture of one’s hair, or whether or not they use deodorant, one way or another it doesn't change the person standing before me and when they lie they are actually relieving a part of who they are whether they mean to or not. The fact that they lied about something so insignificant tells me that this person is insecure about who they are, and simply cannot face the truth. No matter what the reason is for the lie it tells me that they simply cannot be trusted. They may be hiding so much more that I do not know about. I do not let these lies get to me simply because this person does not hold a significant role in my life, but I just cannot get my head around the “WHY.”

Many people tell lies to spare other’s feelings, but they are just excuses so that they do not have to face the truth. When it boils down to it, are you actually sparring the other person’s feelings or are you just prolonging and amplifying the hurt? The truth is that when it comes out, (and I say “when” because it will happen eventually) the other person will also have to deal with the fact that someone dear to them has lied. Honesty is respected, I would rather hear the harsh truth than beautiful lies. I will appreciate the fact that the other person respects me enough to tell me the truth, and the respect will be returned. Whereas if someone told me a lie I would not hold them to any value in my life, I would even go as far as to say they do not hold a PLACE in my life. The aftermath of a lie is much more harsh than that of the truth.

What harm comes from simply telling the truth? We have all heard girls say they cannot go somewhere because they have “to wash their hair.” Sorry ladies, but that is just an EXCUSE they use because they do not want to do something, and to me that is an extension of a lie. How hard is it to simply say that they do not wish to do whatever it is they are trying to get out of? Is it out of fear for conflict? As I mentioned before, is lying better than dealing with the fallout of the truth? For as long as I have been a girl, I have NEVER used that excuse because it is not very honest. One needs to reevaluate their life if they let something as insignificant as their HAIR prevent them from doing something. Just be honest with yourself and the people around you. Being anything but honest is pointless, and the person that is being lied to will begin to question EVERYTHING the liar has ever said leading them to wonder who the person really IS. Being dishonest adds extra stress to one’s life, as Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

When someone lies they are not only labeled as a liar but they will also be seen as being sneaky, dishonest, two-faced, untrustworthy … just to name a few … try getting a job with those words on your resume! It is not about what other’s think of you. You should never live your life according to what others think, being an honest person is something that lives within us and it dictates how we feel on the outside. In order to be a good person one needs to practice honesty, even in the simplest of settings in one’s life. Being honest with the people in your life shows your character, and it speaks to your values.

“The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.” ~Zig Ziglar

It’s About: TIME

There are 365 days in a year, that is 8760 hours, or 525,600 minutes, or 31,536,000 seconds… in whatever terms you wish to think of it. How will you spend that time? Time is a valuable concept, once it is gone you can NEVER get it back, you have to make the best of it while you can. Many people, including myself, take time for granted. We put things off until tomorrow, but why put things off when they can be conquered today? We do not realize how valuable time is until it has run out. Lets face it, we are all going to die one day and we do not know when, so lets make the best of it. We all get busy in our lives because we have schedules that we need to keep and we lose sight of what matters most, we forget how to LIVE! With the schedules that we keep we become creatures of habit. We develop a routine and with each passing day breaking that routine becomes harder. We need to step away from our schedules once in a while to create new experiences and spend time with the people we love and care about. Time is not a promise, you do not know how much you actually have. So don’t waste it and do not waste that of others’. Life is too short to be wasted by sitting on your a$$ for too long, get up and go DO something! After all we are only here for a short time.

Cut the crap! Start doing what you want to do life is too short to be making excuses all the time. You have to live the experiences you want to have, because before you know it your window of opportunity will be nailed shut. New responsibilities will arise and doing things on a whim will be much harder. Responsibilities and excuses are not the same, responsibilities are the things in life that you HAVE to do and have no control over whereas excuses are things you intentionally put in your way. We cannot run from time nor can we run from our responsibilities, but we can make the most of it. Why sit idle when there is something more fulfilling that you could be doing? Where there is a will there is a way, all of those excuses will no longer matter and will fade away.

When we give people our time, we are giving them a part of ourselves that we will never get back. When there is a friend in need or we decide to go to a family gathering we are saying that those people are worth a portion of our life, we are willing to give up that time for these people. I always feel grateful when someone takes time out of their day to simply say, “hello,” because they do not HAVE to but it lets me know that I am worth the time and effort. However, there have been many moments in my life where I have felt that MY time has not been valued by others. There was one incident where I was waiting for someone for about an hour. There was not a single text message, or a mere phone call to let me know they were running late. Once the person did show up, I was astonished to see that they did not even show a single thread of remorse about wasting my valuable time. My time did not matter to them, the only thing that mattered to them was themselves and THEIR own time. I was angry beyond words and I realized that if I was not worth this person’s time, why should I bother wasting more time on this person? From that day forward, I limit my interactions with this person and do not rely on them for anything, because they simply do not value me. Remember, when someone takes their time out for you they do not have to, they do not owe you anything. I can only hope that the person who took my time for granted learns from what happened, because I learned that I cannot rely on them.

The only thing we have is time, but we never have enough simply because we are spending our lives doing things we do not want to do. The power of choice is an amazing thing. We can choose to do what we want with our time, so why not CHOOSE to do what makes us happy and fulfilled and count our blessings for the people in our lives? As Benjamin Franklin said, “Lost time is never found again.” Use your time doing what makes you happy, and spend your time with people that matter and show those people they matter.

~Value time.