L o V 3

What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, no mo’! Hahaha

There are four different types of love. First we have Storge, which is affection for someone within your family, such as a brother. The next type is Philia, which is the type of love you express for a friend, someone you see as your equal. Eros, the more common one, romantic love. Lastly we have Agape, which is unconditional love, the love that a parent feels for their child. With all of that in mind, how often do you say, “I love you,” to the ones you love? Those three little words can make a difference in someone’s life. However, it is not always about what is SAID to one another but how that expression is SHOWN. The truth is we “say” it all the time without even saying it. Actions speak louder than words and we say “I love you” through our actions. When we show people that we care for them it goes a long way, because as Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

How do you know when someone loves you?

Whenever you leave the house and your mom says to you, “drive safe!” Well of course, no one intends to get hurt or to hurt others while on the road. We try to be as safe as we possibly can, we do not NEED another person to tell us to be safe but the road is an unpredictable place and no one can perceive what will happen. Mom knows that whatever happens on the road is out of everyone's hands but that is her way of saying those three little words, I love you. When people in your life ask you if you have eaten or even ask the details of your day, this shows an interest in your life and that they hope you do not have stress. When a friend knows that you are having a crummy day, they will show you that they care and want to see you happy by listening, offering their advice and encouragement to resolve the situation at hand. Only someone who truly loves you will show an interest in your life and care for your well being.

When you were younger and you were sitting in the front seat of your parent’s car chances are you were not paying any attention to the road when all of a sudden your parent slams on his/her breaks. They impulsively throw their hand in front of you to keep you from hurting yourself. Their hand does not actually DO anything, if you are going to fly out the windshield, you WILL fly out whether the arm is there or not. The arm isn’t going to save you, but the fact that they put their arm there in the first place is a gesture that they care about you and your well being. Again, you flying out of the window is out of your parent’s control, but they do what they can to protect you. Putting the arm in front of you is the act of love.  

How do you express your love for someone?

It’s inevitable to feel love for the people in your life whether you call it love or not. The truth is that those feelings are indeed there and they are indicators of how much other people mean to you. Your appreciation and love for someone is expressed through the interactions you have with that person and how you celebrate them. There are many ways to express your love for someone and it doesn’t necessarily have to be by buying them cheesy-ass cards, chocolates, dinner and teddybears one day out of the entire year. What about the other 364 days? You can show your love and appreciation any day of the year by simply being physically and mentally present. If you really wanna buy someone something, then do it! Why do you NEED a “Hallmark Holiday” to buy a  gift for a  loved one?

To read more about our thoughts on Valentine’s day check out our post from last year here.

~L<3VE

Happiness From Within

Are you happy? What makes you happy? Is it the big things or small things? Or perhaps they are not things at all, but moments. Moments with the ones that you love. Happiness is defined as the state of being happy, and happy is defined as feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Both of these definitions are set in the present tense, the NOW. However, people often times think about their happiness as something to be achieved in the future, “If I do this I will be happy.” I too am guilty of this. I find myself saying that once I reach a goal I will be happy, but the truth is once I reach that goal there will be another goal to chase. We will never be happy if we are stuck chasing that happiness. Happiness is something to be felt in the present moment.

There are lots of people in my life who I would like to see happy, but their happiness is not the center of my happiness. I know people that weight their happiness heavily on that of others, but you cannot control if another person is happy. There are many other factors in people’s lives that we do not have knowledge or control over. We all have our own idea of what happiness looks and feels like, so whatever makes us feel good is not the same thing for another person. Happiness is relative not universal, it is not a “one size fits all” type of deal. Everyone’s mind arrives at the idea is happiness differently. What makes me happy is not necessarily the same thing for you. Happiness is so simple yet we make it complex. I love how Aristotle put it, “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” WE have the power to be happy or not, Happiness is a choice and we must CHOOSE to wake up every morning and be happy.

I have always said that you should do whatever makes you happy, but this statement is not entirely true. One should do what makes them happy, as long as they do not bring harm to those around them. A lot of our own happiness is a direct result from the environment that we come from. So if the people in your life are not happy then you are not, you too are being exposed to their unhappiness. Chances are that the people you keep in your life are people you care about, and you show compassion toward these people. Your actions or the lack there of will always affect those around you whether you intend to or not. I have been around so many people that do what is right for them, but they do not stop to think about how their actions will affect the people they love. While they themselves have a favorable outcome, they do not take into account how it will affect others around them. If the people in your life are negatively affected by a decision that YOU have made, this will affect YOUR level of happiness, and lets face it, moods are contagious, so what do you want in your life? I am not saying that you should completely sacrifice your happiness for that of those around you, that is counterproductive, but you do need to weigh your options and ask yourself if the outcome is favorable for everyone. You have to be an active participant when it comes to your own happiness, do not just idly stand there waiting for something to happen, you have to make life happen and take charge. The Dalai Lama once said, “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” You have to make sure that your actions do not bring harm to the ones you love, because their happiness is connected to your’s.

For many people losing weight is tied to their happiness, but guess what? If we never learn to accept ourselves the way we are, we will never be skinny enough. People have a misconception of how to gain happiness, it is a state of mind. Losing weight is external, and being genuinely happy comes from within. You have to learn to be happy with the skin you are in, and realize that what we LOOK like on the outside is not the same as how we feel on the inside. Happiness is something that we feel, and we arrive at the feeling through our mind set. Ever hear of “mind over matter?” Well happiness is the same concept. Objects outside of us do not get to decide what happiness is, our minds have to arrive at that conclusion all on its own. Our minds are more powerful than we give them credit for. It is important to work towards a realistic goal, but all that work will have been for not if you do not know how to love yourself today. Imagine waking up every morning being happy and loving the skin you are in, and being grateful to live another day. You will one day accomplish that weight goal, but imagine the level of satisfaction you will achieve if you feel good while you are working toward that goal. You may even reach that goal faster. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” When you are working toward a goal and you want to reach it with every fiber of your being, every little progress will make you feel happy causing all of the pieces to naturally fall into place.

I know you must be thinking that is easier said than done … which is true, but there is no way you can change your mindset in the snap of a finger. It will take time and you will have to work hard at it. You have to make it a point to be happy NOW. There are techniques that you can learn to train your mind to become what you want it to be. In his TED talk, Matthieu Ricard, talks about “The Habits of Happiness.” Ricard mentions that there are studies that have been done in regards to happiness, and they have found that the same parts of the brain are active when a person is expressing kindness and compassion. Expressing kindness and compassion is key when it comes to being happy, knowing that you have had a positive impact on someone else’s life will make you feel fulfilled. Furthermore, not expecting or seeking a reward in return for being kind and compassionate, leads to a deep feeling of serenity and satisfaction. Being a better person goes hand-in-hand with your level of happiness, almost everything we do is dependent on our own happiness or the happiness of the people we care for in our lives the most. Ricard also talks about the Buddhist view of happiness as being the same as “well being,” it is not just a “pleasurable sensation” as defined above, it is a deep sense of serenity and fulfillment. This concept takes the idea of happiness to another level. Happiness then has a sense of peacefulness, longevity, and is infinite, it is no longer just a moment in time but it is a series of moments that you can look back on and know that you have experienced a sense of fulfilment.  

The next time you are finding it difficult to be happy, I hope that you will remember this post. When all seems lost and feels hopeless, just remember that you and only you alone have control over your thoughts. Think of all to positives in your life, and list all of the things you are grateful for, reach out to a friend. Edith talked about all of these things and more in her last post, Snap Out of it! Most importantly remember that you are not alone, everyone is on this journey to finding happiness.

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How to be a Better Person: Stop Lying to Yourself!

No one is perfect. We all can improve in one way or another, but the only way we can begin to think about being a better person is becoming more self aware. We must learn how we react in different situations, what our strengths and weakness are and look at how our actions affect those around us. Once we do that, we have to think about what we can change to become a better person. We are forever changing and there will always be room for improvement. Being a better person is a goal that I am constantly striving toward but there are always hiccups along the way that make it seem difficult to accomplish this goal. I have come across so many people who are not ready to accept the fact that they are not perfect, they have trouble coming to terms with not being right. We live in a culture that when we are less than perfect we are shunned and looked down upon. Accepting your flaws, and realizing that you are not perfect is the highest form of humility that anyone could express and there is nothing wrong with that. When we are put into the category of being a “good” or a “bad” person, that is based on what others think of us. We cannot control what others think, but we can work on being the best person we can be. No matter your age or your walk of life, you can always learn something from someone no matter how young or how old they are. You can only learn something when you are humbled enough to realize that you have room for improvement and listen to those around you.

What are some characteristics that make a person “bad”? Anger? Jealousy? Impatience? Gossip? Being mean? Just being plain RUDE? These characteristics live in all of us, we need to take notice of these characteristics in our lives so that we can address them and become better people. The trick is not to ignore them but we need to learn how to control these emotions. Do not suppress them, they will find another way to get out when you least expect it. To address these emotions in a constructive way you need to find another outlet. For some, the perfect outlet is meditation, journaling, going for a walking or working out. Everyone has their own way of coping with things and your job is to figure out what your coping mechanism is. Channel that energy into something productive. In order to be a good person you need to make it a priority to spread positive energy to everyone, (even people you don’t like) because what you put out in the world is what you get back.

What are some characteristics that make a  person “good”? Kindness? Compassion? Empathy? Helping others? Trustworthiness? Humility? All of these also live within each and everyone of us, but what matters is what we chose to cultivate and feed. The only thing we can do is to offer the world and those in it the very best version of ourselves, and hope that the life choices we make force us to become better people. In order to do this we need to identify where there is room to improve and listen with our whole heart to those around us. For me, I know that I could show more kindness to people that are complete strangers. When I am out, I usually do not talk to folks around me, I keep to myself and do what I have to do. Recently I tried something different, I struck up a conversation with a woman I did not know. We did not talk about anything important, but I hope I made a difference in her day, because I know she made a difference in mine.

Another major component in becoming a better person is listening to others, and be willing to make changes in your life. Granted, people do not always tell us what we want to hear, but it is what we make of the information that is important. When I am confronted in this situation, I reflect and I take the positives and learn from what the other person had to say. When I am approached by a fellow peer about something they find concerning, I sometimes get upset but I remind myself that they are only saying it to better the situation at hand. Once I accept what the other person is saying to me, the next step is to work on my personal development to become better. This personal development can only happen if people around you are willing to give you feedback in a constructive way, and it is crucial that you yourself are willing to receive it. If you are not willing and ready for that feedback it may not end well, causing the process to take much longer.

Being a better person is a never-ending process. You have to listen to yourself through self reflection, journaling, meditation etc.. You will also have to think about the people around you because when you are around positive, happy people, you too will be positive and happy. They feed off of your positivity and happiness, making it a win-win situation for all. When we have this positivity and happiness in our lives it makes it easier to to confront our flaws head on. We are not perfect people, we need to stop lying to ourselves and thinking that we can be. Once we accept this fact, we are able to open our minds to the feedback of those around us and begin to reinvent ourselves for the better.

So if you want to be a better person, listen to your peers with an open mind and the understanding that they want to help you. Reevaluate your person and find where you can improve.

~Be the best.

Its Not About the Destination, It's About the Journey...

In my previous post I talked about the satisfaction of achieving your goals. Something that is more important than achieving the goal itself, is the journey you take to get there. On your journey you will have to evaluate yourself; Am I working effectively? Is this helping me to progress to where I need to be? By doing this, you're paving the road to your success and believe me, this road is cluttered with all kinds of obstacles that teach you life lessons. That's why the journey, dare I say, is more important than the goal, the goal is just the reward to show for all your efforts.

One thing to keep in mind, is to stick to your goal if you plan to realistically succeed. Write your goal down so it becomes tangible and understand the reason you want to achieve such goal. If you’re straying away from the ultimate goal, go back and remind yourself why you need to achieve that goal. Actively work towards your goal everyday to get it done. Take for example something as simple as leading a healthier lifestyle, one can’t expect to do a 180° turn on their lifestyle, they have to gradually build their way up to it. Start small, 15 minutes of working out, switching out one or two junk foods and replacing them with a healthier option will get them closer to achieving the goal. You will come across procrastination and obstacles, but that is part of the journey. It's important to choose your goals wisely, remember the post on SMART goals? That's exactly what needs to be done. Set your goals wisely! Make sure they're Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. No goal is easy, however, if you don’t make your goal SMART it will only make the goal harder to attain.

Every mission you decide to take on, becomes an opportunity for you to grow as a person. When you start your quest you will inevitably gain experiences that will assist you in completing your goal. Sometimes things don't always go as planned and you have obstacles in your way that may make you lose faith in your goal. Use these obstacles to help develop your skill set, to prepare you for the work that lays ahead. The experiences that YOU go through are priceless, you are the only one who has EVER gone through your specific situation. Everything you have ever gone through in life has shaped the person you are today. All of your past life experiences come with you, they help you progress in life. When it comes down to it, all you will have are your moments, they are intimately yours, no one can take them away from you. Unlike materialistic things, they can break, get lost, get stolen or mess up, however, the experiences you gain throughout your life stay with you and play a huge role in your character’s development.

Hard work does not go unnoticed, if you put in a hard day’s work you will see results. The only way to fail at your goal is to sit there and do nothing! As long as you're moving and grooving, towards your goal that is, you'll be on your way. No goal is easy to attain, it takes dedication and determination to get there. When someone get’s a promotion at work, it’s because they have come a long way and have proven that they the experience under their belt. LEVEL UP!

Set SMART goals, write it down! Start working towards your goal everyday, dedicate some time and you’ll eventually get there. Take everything you come across as a learning experience. Life is a rollercoaster ride and you will get dings along the way that will affect your outcome. All experiences are specific to each person, no one can take away anyone’s experiences away. The level of hard work invested in achieving ANY goal will show in the results. Don’t give up, all the work you do will have been for nothing if you don’t see it through till the end. You will never know what lays ahead so it all begins and ends with you!

What's Your Vibe?

We have all had those days where every little thing gets on our nerves and every little thing is just irritating. I am here to tell you that acting on those impulses is a total waste of energy. There are many types of energy, we have negative and positive energies just to name a few. If you are positive and happy that is what you will get back, and if you are negative and sad that is what you will get back. If you smile, the other person will smile back, and they will pass that smile on to another person creating a domino effect. If you are having a terrible day, turn it around, you have the power to change your mood. Our moods are contagious. What you give is what you get back. Try to make the world a better place. Be kind. What do you want in your life, positive or negative energies?

A few months ago, I was driving home from work. On my way I needed to make a right turn, and in order to make a safe right turn I had to inch forward into the crosswalk. As I was inching forward a jogger came out of no where and began to yell at me for blocking “his” crosswalk. I do not understand why the jogger felt like he needed to yell at me, how much energy (not to mention negative energy) did he waste by yelling at me versus quietly jogging around my car? The way I see it is no one got hurt and he got a few extra steps in. I could have let the jogger’s rotten mood affect the rest of my day, but I just laughed it off and moved on. Perhaps the jogger had a bad day and was jogging to blow off some steam, I just happen to be at the tail end of his frustration. What did the jogger accomplish by yelling at me? My car didn't move and he went around me. Did he think about how his actions were going to affect me? I hope he felt better!

Right after that little incident, someone decided to cut me off. I could have gotten mad and honked, yelled and even flipped the bird, but I chose not to. If I got mad what would this have accomplished? I cannot go back in time and stop this person from cutting me off and no one got hurt, so why waste my energy on negative vibes? The same can be said about a simple, harmless look.

We have all been looked at up and down, mean mugged, given dirty looks, whatever you want to call it. This happened to me only a few hours ago, and I couldn't help but wonder what the other person got out of this non-verbal exchange. What satisfaction did they gain from this exchange? Were they trying to assert their superiority or intimidate me? Whatever the case may be, it does not change the fact that they sent negative vibes my way. Why couldn't the other person smile or exchange a friendly hello? This little interaction was a reflection of them, and the type of person they are. I do not pay much attention to people when they do this, but the other person does not know who I am or what I am going through or what I am capable of. What If I was having a rough day, and this non-verbal exchange set me off into the “deep-end”? There is no telling what could have happened. As Plato once said, “Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

~So spread love, smile more.

If Today was Your Last Day...

We all go through that phase where we think that we are invincible, no one and nothing can harm us. But we will all realize that we are all gonna die one day. So, how do you want to be remembered? How will you leave your mark on this world? Life is short! We are always hearing stories of young people losing their lives before making their mark on the world, and that they had so much to live for … but the truth is that we do not know WHEN we are going to die, and who are we to say that this person did not take full advantage of their life. Death is tragic and unexpected no matter what the case may be, old or young, how do we know what kind of life the person lived? Yes, it is unfortunate if a 16 year old loses his/her life but, it is much worse for those of us who are left to deal with the loss, because they are no longer here. However if it is a 95 year old, we do not think twice about how this person got to live a “full” life, we will still miss them but knowing they lived so many years offers us a better form of closure. The number of years that we live does not determine the quality of life we live. As Abraham Lincoln once said “In the end, it’s not about the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” So whether it be 16 amazing years on this planet or 95 long years, make it count! Tomorrow is not a promise so you have to make the best of it.

I recently found out that someone I knew a while back passed away, and naturally I began to think about how amazing this person was. This person was only in my life for a short while, but they left a mark on my life. Their kindness and positivity motivated me to strive and work for what I want out of life. This person will never know the effect they had on me, because I got the inspiration from ONE conversation we had. I can only imagine how this person affected others … this was the single memory of them that had a lasting impression on me, one memory, one encounter in a sea of people who had also been touched by this person. This has got me thinking about the mark I will leave behind. How will I be remembered? I DO NOT live my life according to what others think. People are going to judge you no matter what you do or say, so I strive to be happy, and as I have said many times before, I want to leave a positive mark on those around me. After I came to this realization, I became more self aware of my actions and of my words. I want to be remembered as a kind hearted person because as Maya Angelou once said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Emotions are powerful! Kindness is key to leaving a lasting impression on someone. If you give time out of your day to just listen and to offer some words of kindness others will remember that.

How you live your life is how people will remember you. However you should not live your life based on how people will view you, it is YOUR life and you only get one, make the most of it, be happy. We all get wrapped up in our lives and we focus on our careers so that we can build ourselves up in order to get that promotion, or to buy that new house or car.  All this is important, but we need to balance our lives. We need those things to live in our society. If you do not have money, you do not have the conventional means of survival, yet you also need to maintain your mental health, and cultivate the real meaning behind life. We need to stop and look at what really matters in life, we need to cultivate the relationships that mean the most. Quality over quantity, focus your energy on something that feeds your soul. Invest your time into parts of your life that make you enjoy living, time is precious! Don’t waste it.

Death is inevitable, you have a choice in how you live and let live, the trick is to be you, and do no harm to others. Leave a positive mark, inspire others to be the best they can be, and they will remember you for that. You never know when you are going to pass away so make sure to always create positive, fruitful memories with the ones you care about. Spend your time carefully, do not let another second pass you by and feed quality moments to your life. Live every day like it’s your last.

~Be happy and don’t dwell on the past, live in the present and welcome the future with open arms.

Words Don’t Hurt, The People Who Say Them Do

Words have power, only if you allow them to. Not everyone realizes how much their words can affect others. You do not know what someone else has been through in their lifetime, so you do not know exactly how your words will affect them. I believe that actions speak much louder than words If someone just says something to me, I do not waste my time worrying about it until I see some action, but that is just me. For example, flowers versus saying, “I missed you today,” think about the difference in the two scenarios, how would YOU feel? Read more in my post, “Words Whisper, Actions Shout.” There are those incidences when all it takes are a few words to ruin my entire day. Those words feed on my insecurities and when another person points them out it feels like someone punched me in the gut. However I soon realize that at the end of the day I am the only person that I need to worry about, I am the only person that needs to be concerned with my own happiness and not allow the negative words from others affect me in such an extreme. Think about it, do the words alone have power? Or do you give the person saying them the power? Who are the people in your life that have that power over you? Why do they have that power?

Words will have an affect on you in one way or another, depending on who they are coming from. Whether that be someone close to you or a person you rarely, if at all, speak to. I can think of many times when the words of a person close to me have been hurtful, but I have come to learn that I should not let those few words undo my whole day. I know that they have my best interest in mind and they are only saying it to help me out. However, when a person I do not really know says something nasty to me I just chalk it up to them being buttmunches (yes that is a technical term), so I let it roll off my shoulder, like water on a duck’s back.

There are also the words that come in the form of holy scriptures. Those words are relevant because we place value on them and we place value because someone at some point said that we should. I am not saying that holy scriptures are unimportant, they are very important because they help us develop our morals and tells us what is right from wrong. When it comes down to your actions and what morals you have developed as a result of those words you choose what actions to take.

So what are words really? Words are only made up of the meaning WE give them, we define them, therefore we allow them to affect us. It’s like that quote, “Don’t let people’s compliments get to your head, and don't let their criticism get to your heart.” Never let someone else’s words affect how you live your life, or how you want to live it. Be humble when someone pays you a compliment, that just means you are doing something right, and when someone criticizes you learn from it but do not fixate on it for too long. One should strive to only spread positivity, so use only kind words.

~Be kind

Jealousy; The Green Eyed-Monster.

Jealousy is a bit more complex than we may think. This is not only just an emotion, it is a reaction. There are many different situations in which jealousy can come out. It may be in a relationship, romantic and otherwise, or even in a competitive setting, the workplace, or a social gathering. Whatever the case may be I feel that it is a wasted emotion! We live in a society where we do not take the time to appreciate what we DO have in our lives, we spend too much time and energy worrying about what we want, or what others have. I always tell people that those things we want, materialistic or otherwise, are not always the things that make us happy. Once you look deep within yourself, trust me you will realize you have just wasted your time being jealous.

When it comes to competitive jealousy, it brings to light your level of self confidence. If you feel jealous because of what someone has, that means that you are wasting too much of your time thinking about other people, you really need to think about yourself for a change!!!! One could even say you are lacking self-confidence … and trust me that is not attractive. (Check out our post about confidence right -> HERE.) A person who is jealous because their co worker just bought a brand new BMW, suggests that something is wrong with their 10 year old Civic. The jealous person needs to realize that their Civic has lasted them 10 years and is still running great. This person also has a fear of what others might think of their little ol’ Civic, and last time I checked all cars serve the same purpose, get you from point A to B. So, who cares what the world thinks?!?!?!?! If you are happy and everything is working why you trippen’ for? Be grateful that you own a car, some don’t even have THAT luxury.

ROMANTIC jealousy, this one can be flattering, but still a waste. Some may think that it is cute when their significant other is jealous of another person due to the fear of loss, it shows that they care about the other person enough for this emotion to get in the way. Being jealous in this situation also shows that the other person has trust issues. They do not trust their significant other enough to believe that they will make the right decisions. With romantic jealousy we also get a mixture of other reactions such as possessiveness, suspicion, rage, and humiliation. Aside from the lack of trust, there is once again the lack of confidence, this person begins to question what is wrong with themselves; Why would my significant other do what they did? What does the other person have that I do not have? What is wrong with me?

A lot of the time jealousy can be projected by something that isn’t there, it may be your imagination running wild, but it happens if you lack trust in your partner and confidence in yourself.

What all of this boils down to is happiness, jealousy prevents you from being happy. Happiness is a choice, you can choose to be happy for someone or you can choose to be jealous of them. Learn to be happy for people and trust your significant other. Turn the feeling of jealousy into something positive and you will make your life positive.

There are so many issues in the world such as hunger, genocide, war, poverty, etc. so why waste your time and energy being envious of people? Be grateful for what you have and celebrate that with the people who are around you and care about you. You have the power to determine what your life will be like, and as time goes on the harder it will be to make that change. You have the power to determine your outcome.

~Peace

KARMA: Just Sit Back & Watch

“What goes around, comes around,” but what does that really mean? We hear people talking about Karma all the time, this is a more simple definition. When looking at the origins of Karma we must look at Indian Philosophy. Karma differs a little in each one of the eastern religions, but the word itself means “action,” or “deed.” Your actions now determine what will happen to you in the future. Karma gets more complex when you start talking about rebirth, because the concept of time is not linear as we know it in the western world. The basic idea is enough for our purposes.

With a little background out of the way, I am here to say that when someone does bad to you take the high road, do nothing. Whenever someone makes me upset because of their actions, I can choose to get mad and seek revenge, or I can think nothing of it and move on because I believe that one day they will get what is coming to them. Yes I have a story, of some instant Karma, are you ready? Well back in highschool there was a vicious rumor going around that I was a bit of a bully :O … I know right? But there was a staff member that thought he was going to do something about it, so he kept me after everyone else. I was not scared, I just wanted to see what was going to happen next. So he and I began to walk down a long flight of stairs, and he said to me, “I heard that you are a bully?” and my response was, “Really?” Then he said, “what are you going to do if I do this?” as he gave me a small push, and at the exact same point in time he almost fell down the stairs. I looked at him, and said, “absolutely nothing” as I gave him a smile. The story does not end there. He then asked me one more time what I was going to do if he pushed me yet again, and once again, he almost fell down the stairs. This time I said nothing and let him do it a third time, and yes you guessed it he almost fell again. After the third time, he looked at my face and said, “why?” My response? you might ask, it was simply, “Because, I believe in Karma.” needless to say, this guy NEVER messed with me again. This is a perfect example of where I could have gotten mad and all defensive but I chose not to because in the end he was going to get what was coming to him even if I did nothing.

Another great example of karma can be seen in  … are you ready for it? …  “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets!” If you have not seen the movie or read the books, shame on you! .. haha just kidding. If you know what I am talking about, you get EXTRA brownie points (***To cash in your points leave a comment below ;-)***) and if not here is a little summary just for you! One of the Professors at the school, Gilderoy Lockhart, is a famous author that has written many books about his extraordinary adventures. Later on in the story we find out that Lockhart is a fake, he used a spell to make the other wizards lose their memories so that they couldn’t tell his secrets. His bad karma decided to kick in toward the end of the story, when he uses a broken wand to wipe Harry and Ron’s memory, but it backfires and wipes his own. KARMA!!!

My point is you do not always have to be the one to seek revenge, the universe, or greater power (whatever you believe) will figure it out in the end. If someone does something wrong to you just learn from it and move on, you do not need to put your mind through any unnecessary stress. (I did a post on forgiveness, check it out  here.) Just think good and do good, and you will get just that in return. It is not about what people think of you, what it IS however, the way you feel about you. If you put a positive energy out, you will get a positive energy in return.

~Ta Ta

Why is Common Sense not as Common Anymore?

What is common sense? Perhaps everyone’s common sense is different but to a certain extent there is a reason why it’s called “common” sense. As defined in the Merriam Webster dictionary it’s: the ability to think and behave in a reasonable way and to make good decisions.

The other day I was watching the local news and they reported that a man almost lost his life crossing the railroad tracks, while the train was running full speed. What gets me is that people dismiss the safety signs that are clearly posted by the tracks “ Do not to cross”… Common sense would be to avoid crossing the tracks during this time. Just watch the video: http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/video?id=9470436

Some people seldom use their sane judgement in certain settings. As you can see in the video there are multiple railroad tracks, common sense would indicate there may be more trains passing. It’s imperative to be aware of your surroundings and make good judgements about your actions because the guy in the video was a hair away from death. Like the reporter said, there have been 13 deaths in the past year of people who got hit by the train. If people would pay more attention and make better judgements they wouldn’t be in situations like this.

In the end,  I wonder “Is it worth it?” Whatever may be influencing you to take such drastic actions is not worth it in my opinion if it’s putting your life at risk. It’s not like the train will keep you waiting for that much longer! He was too impatient to wait till the train tracks were clear. A bunch of people called this luck… I’m sorry I don’t see it that way, that’s not luck, that’s stupidity working in his favor.  I’m happy he made it across but he’s the ultimate decision maker of his actions that almost got him killed.

About a week ago I was a witness to another bad decision made by someone who was just impatient and lacked common sense. Believe it or not this situation also involves a train. I was in traffic waiting in the left lane for the green arrow when I noticed we weren’t moving. The the street I had to turn into was blocked by a cargo train on the train tracks. About a minute passes and the train is still there when a car behind me starts honking when the arrow turns green for the second time, if he had bothered to look to his left he would have seen that we are all waiting for the train to clear the crossing. Not happy that he couldn’t solve anything with his annoying honking, he decides to back up and get in the next lane thats going forward and speeds up to make a U-turn ahead then tries to turn into the same street with no avail because there were other cars in front of him also waiting for the train to move. Finally when the train clears he had to wait even longer because the lane I was in had the right of passage. Many situations like this can be avoided if we all have a little patience so we can make good decisions.

People's common sense can be easily blurred by things like: impatience, liquor, and drugs. These incidences were about people who let their impatience blur their common and good judgement. Like in the video, the man was too impatient to wait for the train to pass, leading him to make the bad decision of running in front of a high speed train. Patience is a virtue, b*tch…. it is something the idiot guy in the car should have bought at the corner store, he could have kill somebody driving like a crazy person!

Please use your common sense people, it’s rudimentary to our survival… If you haven’t read my blog post on survival go read it … right now… I’ll wait till you get back :). In any case, common sense has played a huge role in the well being of human life, so dont lose it (your common sense that is).

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~Peace, Love and Common Sense be with thee.

Trust

Have you ever told anyone something in confidence, and the next thing you know everyone and they momma knows? Well my trust was broken recently, and after I found out I was angry. How could this person do this to me? But I soon realized that this is what happens when you trust someone, it’s risky. You cannot control what other people say or do, you just have to have faith that the person you trusted has enough respect for you to not tell others about your business.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, trust is defined as the belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, etc.. The key word that I would like to zone in on is “belief.” Just because we made the judgement that someone can be trusted does not mean that it is true. As a result, the only person that you can trust is yourself because you are the only one in control of your actions. I feel that I should be mad at is myself. I believed that this person was trustworthy. I made the wrong judgment and I was the one to get hurt in the end.

Looking back at this experience I have a better grasp on what trust is. I know that I cannot control what other people say or do, and I cannot go back in time and stop myself from telling this person, because at the time this is exactly what I wanted to do. As for that person, I now know I cannot tell them anything anymore, they did not have enough respect for me to keep this conversation between the two of us. They will never know I found out that they betrayed me, they will never know because this person is simply not worth my breath.

With that being said learning to trust someone is important in any relationship if it is meant to last, but it takes a long time to get to the point where people can trust one another. When you say that you trust someone it says many things about the other person’s character. Just knowing that you can trust someone says that you are familiar with their values and you know that this person would never do anything that would hurt you. As the writer George MacDonald said, “to be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”

~Love is hard to come by, but trust is harder