Put Your Blinders On, and Get Sh*t Done!

Don’t let what people say get to you. Compliments and criticisms are different heads on the same coin; they are two different extremes that have the same effect on our personal and professional development. Every now and again it is nice to hear praise from those around you, this lets you know that you are doing something right, but don’t let praise get to your head because where you are in life and what you have accomplished is not over. You must continue to grow and move on to bigger and better things. Those who instead critique you on what you are doing will only create friction, don’t open a window for them to dismantle your hard work and how far you have come. There is a time and place to receive such feedback and you have to be the one that decides when and where it is received and who gives it. Listen to the compliments and listen to the criticisms, and do not let them get to you. Find the balance between them so that you can move forward in a positive light. At the end of the day it is you that has to live with how you live your life. Take what you can and keep your focus. Others have the right to express how they feel, but it is your responsibility to keep your head above the water and not drown in the criticisms or compliments.

Compliments should be taken as a congratulatory formality. They should be seen as milestones, it’s only the end of one battle in a series of battles that make up a bigger war known as LIFE. Do not become overconfident, egotistical, narcissistic, or douchebaggy when receiving compliments because the war is not over. When you let compliments get to your head you stop learning and think that you have it made. It disables you to continue to work even harder by letting your guard down. Life is not going to stop so why should you? The clock is going to tick the same way it always has. Just because someone has acknowledged your hard work does not mean it’s the end of your journey. The compliments are just the beginning of what else you have in store to offer the world. It’s rewarding when people compliment you on your hard work and your accomplishments but this only means that you are doing well and must continue to push forward on your endeavors and not give up. Don’t stop there!

If you let yourself become influenced by criticism, you are giving up your power to be who you want to be. Everyone has gone through countless insecurities in their lifetime, and many of those insecurities continue to stick with us. I am an Indian woman, as you may or may not know we tend to be quite hairy. Yet we are fixated on trying to get rid of all this hair. When I was growing up I never felt insecure about my hair however, there have been countless times in my life where I have been told to “fix it.” They have all said I need to do x, y or z to my hair so that ”it would look better.” In my mind I have never been pretty enough, so when people would point out my frizzy, puffy, untamed hair, it would bring out my insecurities. I actively chose not to let it get me down. I decided that the people I want to keep in my life are those who love me for me, and it won't matter what my hair looks like. At the end of the day, if you're doing what you need to be doing and you're content with yourself, other people's opinions don't matter unless you are looking for their opinion. You have the power to be in control at all times, never forget that.

We may not realize this but when we critique others on what they need to do or how they look, it may be a sign that we are unhappy with ourselves. We are the ones who have an issue with ourselves and see those flaws in others. The only reason we are critical of others is because we are critical of ourselves. If we want to tell someone that they need to change something about THEIR persona, we need to take a second glance at ourselves, let the other person be and find peace within ourselves. One can offer suggestions but ultimately it is up to each individual to decide for themselves what advice they apply to their life at any point. We must remember that everyday that passes is a chance for us to grow and become something new. It takes a lifetime to become the people we want to be, and it is not always a walk in the park. So when you are busy critiquing others you are not focused on your own life and getting to where you should be. You are also adding unnecessary stress and judging what is out of your control, when you should be focused on your own life goals and achievements.

Over the years I have learned that what people have to say does not offer any insight as to what kind of person I am. Never let what people say, good or bad, affect your life. Keep your eyes on the prize, and only stop to pick up the things that are going to help you.“Do not let other people’s compliments go to your head nor their criticisms to your heart.”

Failure OR Success? Who Decides?

We all want to succeed in life and that means something different to everyone. The dictionary definition of the word failure is the lack of success. So what does success mean? I thought you would never ask ... Success is defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. With all of this in mind, why is it that in human nature we think that our success is measured by the people around us? We look at people that are in similar situations as us and we think that we have failed somehow because we do not have our sh*t as together as it would SEEM. The truth is that we all need to NOT worry about other people because they have an idea of success that is much different than our own. We are unique individuals and we are on our own unique path, looking at others will not help us. Success is relative. Only YOU truly know what your aim and purpose are therefore, only YOU can determine if you have succeeded or not. People will always formulate an opinion but your opinion is the only one that matters. Keep your eyes on the prize, do not let yourself be bothered by outsiders. If you are too busy looking at others it will do more harm than good. When you compare yourself to others you will always find the ways in which they are better than you. We fixate on their success and do not take into consideration what the person has overcome. Don’t focus on others, if you do, you are spending less time working on your own SH*TUFF.

We have adopted a misconception of what success actually means and our notion of success has also shaped what we believe failure is. Our notion is socially constructed and has trickled into our educational system, making it extremely difficult for people to truly explore their passions. This stops people from walking on their own path because they have a fear of failing, they take the “safest” path because it guarantees success or they are too busy doing what is expected of them. If you are walking down a path that is not meant for you, that will affect your level of happiness which is directly connected to how successful you will become. We want to make the people in our lives happy, but we have to keep our own happiness in mind when we are walking our path. Our parents have influenced how we think and we always want to make the people who raised us proud, as a result we will define our own success based on what THEY want for us. Take time to figure out what it is that YOU want and not what others want for you.

Many people think that success is defined by the amount of money you got in the bank. However, if we treat money as the ONLY component to our success we will learn that it is not everything. Having money is great, but if you are not happy with your life, have you truly succeeded? There is more to life than what kind of car you drive or how big your house is, all of that is nothing if you are not living a fulfilling life. Measuring your success according to your bank account, will result in a depressing existence. You will constantly be trying to get more and never be satisfied. Nothing in life is guaranteed including success and ESPECIALLY the number in your bank account. Do not make “money” your main focus when you are trying to measure your level of success.

When do we fail? When we give up. There is nothing worse than setting out on a journey and not crossing the finish line. Nothing is impossible to accomplish. We make our own restrictions and convince ourselves that we cannot do something. As long as we are still actively working towards our goal we are succeeding, but the moment we stop BELIEVING that we can do it, we have failed. There are moments in life where we may fail at our goals regardless of how hard we have worked but there is a lot to gain from the experience altogether. We need to look at the glass as half full, focus on what you have and where you need to go. At the end of the day your accomplishments are always much greater than your failures. When working towards your goal, stick to it, achieve your full potential and figure out where you need to improve. Always try your best, so that at the end of the day you can say with full confidence that you gave it all that you had.

~Go be a success.

Its Not About the Destination, It's About the Journey...

In my previous post I talked about the satisfaction of achieving your goals. Something that is more important than achieving the goal itself, is the journey you take to get there. On your journey you will have to evaluate yourself; Am I working effectively? Is this helping me to progress to where I need to be? By doing this, you're paving the road to your success and believe me, this road is cluttered with all kinds of obstacles that teach you life lessons. That's why the journey, dare I say, is more important than the goal, the goal is just the reward to show for all your efforts.

One thing to keep in mind, is to stick to your goal if you plan to realistically succeed. Write your goal down so it becomes tangible and understand the reason you want to achieve such goal. If you’re straying away from the ultimate goal, go back and remind yourself why you need to achieve that goal. Actively work towards your goal everyday to get it done. Take for example something as simple as leading a healthier lifestyle, one can’t expect to do a 180° turn on their lifestyle, they have to gradually build their way up to it. Start small, 15 minutes of working out, switching out one or two junk foods and replacing them with a healthier option will get them closer to achieving the goal. You will come across procrastination and obstacles, but that is part of the journey. It's important to choose your goals wisely, remember the post on SMART goals? That's exactly what needs to be done. Set your goals wisely! Make sure they're Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. No goal is easy, however, if you don’t make your goal SMART it will only make the goal harder to attain.

Every mission you decide to take on, becomes an opportunity for you to grow as a person. When you start your quest you will inevitably gain experiences that will assist you in completing your goal. Sometimes things don't always go as planned and you have obstacles in your way that may make you lose faith in your goal. Use these obstacles to help develop your skill set, to prepare you for the work that lays ahead. The experiences that YOU go through are priceless, you are the only one who has EVER gone through your specific situation. Everything you have ever gone through in life has shaped the person you are today. All of your past life experiences come with you, they help you progress in life. When it comes down to it, all you will have are your moments, they are intimately yours, no one can take them away from you. Unlike materialistic things, they can break, get lost, get stolen or mess up, however, the experiences you gain throughout your life stay with you and play a huge role in your character’s development.

Hard work does not go unnoticed, if you put in a hard day’s work you will see results. The only way to fail at your goal is to sit there and do nothing! As long as you're moving and grooving, towards your goal that is, you'll be on your way. No goal is easy to attain, it takes dedication and determination to get there. When someone get’s a promotion at work, it’s because they have come a long way and have proven that they the experience under their belt. LEVEL UP!

Set SMART goals, write it down! Start working towards your goal everyday, dedicate some time and you’ll eventually get there. Take everything you come across as a learning experience. Life is a rollercoaster ride and you will get dings along the way that will affect your outcome. All experiences are specific to each person, no one can take away anyone’s experiences away. The level of hard work invested in achieving ANY goal will show in the results. Don’t give up, all the work you do will have been for nothing if you don’t see it through till the end. You will never know what lays ahead so it all begins and ends with you!

WE WON!!!

We all have goals, and we all have the ability to conquer them. The trick is to have a plan and set realistic expectations to meet your goal. You also need to network with people who will support you in reaching your objective. Even if you feel like you’re not making progress, as long as you are working toward your target you’re benefiting from the process. When you finally accomplish your goal, there is a deep sigh of relief in knowing that all your hard work has paid off. However, goals are never ending, there will always be something greater you want to strive towards. You have to take them one goal at a time and one step at a time.

Prior to the 2014 November elections, we formed a coalition of community members to get involved with our local city election. We were afraid that our city government was going to be bought out by HUGE corporate interest which would tamper with the lives of our community members for the worse. Our work was crucial in educating our fellow voters about what was going on with the elections and getting them out to vote for the candidates we believed had the best interest of the community in mind. I can't even begin to explain how difficult I saw this race. There was so much money being poured into this election from large corporate interest, while we, the members of the community, only relied on a bit of funding and most importantly we had a community base unparalleled by these greed driven institutions. All of the grassroots efforts we put into making this election sway in our favor was unquestionably difficult, but not impossible. Day after day for months, we came together over tables of bottomless coffee mugs, energy bars, and pep talks. The days were endless and melted into each other, entire hours of restlessness allowed us a glimpse of insanity, we were holding on by a mere thread.

Everyone had a role to play in order to achieve our common goal. It wasn’t difficult to fall off track because we held each other accountable and expected everyone to put in a hundred and ten percent. However, when YOU are the only one fully responsible for YOUR goal, you have to hold YOURSELF accountable. The important thing is to keep your eyes on the prize, I know that this sounds a bit cliche but if you stray away from your ultimate goal, it will be much harder to reach.  For some, this means socializing less and dedicating majority of their time focusing on what they want to accomplish. I know during the time we were working toward our goal I couldn't think about anything else but the elections. Educating my neighbors on some of the issues we need to address as a community made my work so fulfilling. The lives of my fellow neighbors, family and friends along with my own are at stake and depends on the work we were doing. There were moments when I thought all hope was lost but knowing that I had other people who counted on me to play my role in the bigger picture gave me the motivation to keep going. I had support from close friends and family who believed in me and gave me the courage to keep fighting and keep giving my best no matter how much doubt kept crossing my mind. Don't be afraid to ask people for advice or to talk to a friend when you feel like your efforts are futile or when you feel like it's just too much. Perhaps all you need is a little bit of encouragement and words of wisdom to keep your flame burning until the end and don't give up.

In the end your efforts will not go unnoticed keep that in mind. There is no way to expect your reward if you don't put in the work. When you can almost taste your victory, push harder and know that you will be able to look back on the hard work that you did, and be satisfied with what you have achieved. You will always encounter setbacks but remember the words of George A. Custer, “It’s not about how many times you get knocked down that count, it’s how many times you get back up.” You will always learn from your mistakes and they will help you to figure out how you can do better. That is why it’s important to mentally prepare yourself for the ups and downs and always keep in mind that hard work will not go unnoticed. The universe will reward you well my friend, you just have to see beyond the horizon to realize what that reward will bring. Trust me nothing is impossible just keep your head in the game and know in the end the weight will melt off your shoulders knowing that you did everything you could.

After all the blood and sweat that we put into the election, we rejoiced in victory. All of the candidates we vouched for WON! Now that they are in office I can sleep easy, knowing that they have the community’s interest in mind. We can now work together with our governing reps to build a better community and work to accomplish new and exciting goals! This is just the beginning, you’re never really done because there will always be more goals you want to achieve. It’s important to reflect on the things you have already accomplished, but you should never “run out” of goals, and you should be constantly thinking about how you can grow and develop from where you are. Keep your body busy, because when you die that’s it... there is not much to do then, so do everything you want now!

Compete Less, Support More

Many of us have been raised to only think about ourselves and how we can get ahead in life. Living in a very individualistic society we often put ourselves against one another, we have to work at being happy for others. Not everything has to be a competition where someone wins and the rest lose. In fact everyone has the potential to gain something positive even when they don’t think they got what they wanted. EVERYONE wants to succeed, there is room for everyone in this world to get to where they want to be, with or without your support. However your support will make a difference and it will show them that you care. So, why not be that support? Your support of one another will build lasting relationships. Learn to be genuinely happy for the people around you. It is a little known fact that when people have the support of those around them, they will do better.

Be a support for people in your life to show them that you care, build a community with them where everyone looks out for each other and genuinely cares about their physical and emotional well being. The word "competition," carries the tone for rivalry. If you are stuck in the mindset of competition, you will eventually push everyone away. You will only be left with your OWN achievements and no one to share them with. There is a time and place to be competitive, however being competitive ALL THE TIME is not ok … it makes you come across as a conceded know it all.

Competing with others also prohibits you from being happy for them when they reach THEIR goals. Learn to celebrate others, there is more to life than just YOU and YOUR personal affairs! You are only a tiny speck of stardust on this hunk of rock and there are a million other things that also matter. So don’t become solely fixated on your own goals because you will miss out on the accomplishments of those around you: your kids, your spouse, your siblings and your friends. You don’t want to be so focused on winning to the point that you forget about the people who are important.

Not everything has to be seen in terms of who is winning and who is losing. Putting yourself against others in order to win signifies that someone else has to lose. If you are losing in a situation, then try to be optimistic and see what you can learn from this experience. Dr Seuss once said, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” In every experience there is something to be gained, and sometimes it is difficult to find what that “thing” is. At times you will think that everything is going wrong but you must look for the light at the end of the tunnel because it IS there, you just have to find it. One cannot live a positive life with a negative outlook. A bad experience will leave you with scars, but those scars make you stronger. You wouldn't be stronger if it weren't for THOSE experiences. It is not about winning or losing, it IS about what you gain from the experience. Being too competitive will leave you to think that if you don’t win, you lose. The reality is that no one loses, everyone gains something. When you support others you too are winning.

When you help others succeed, you also succeed. The concept of winning and losing is absurd. Every experience you have, whether it is a good one or a bad one, it always offers you something to be gained. When people reach their goals they will remember how much you supported them and that act will not go unnoticed, you will become a part of their success. Be there for the people around you, become present in their lives. Help bring out the best in them and that will bring out the best in you! A little support goes a long way.

~ Compete less, support more.