If I Knew Then What I Know Now: A Letter to Edith's Past Self

Dear,

You... Me... Us …

I know you think you don’t have your life together. News flash kiddo, at 25 you will still be trying to piece it together! Ten years into your future you will have learned a lot, but I want to use the opportunity to share some important life lessons that if applied sooner will come in handy.

Not knowing everything is not a bad thing. Life is about making mistakes and figuring out how to cope. Whenever you have doubt, you should ask questions even if you think you sound  stupid. Chances are that a lot of people around you feel the same way and have the same questions. When you choose to keep quiet, you deprive yourself from learning something new and sharing the knowledge with those around you.

You are young and smart, you shouldn’t be wasting your time on pointless things. You have so much to look forward to... you have no idea. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you can’t make decisions for yourself. That guy that made you feel like you were HIS property, is still an asshole. But who cares about his A$$!? I know you were afraid to lose him, but guess what? There are plenty of people in your life to love and who will love you back. These people will support you and help you become more independent. When you realize that your life is in YOUR hands, you can make decisions for yourself to create your own path. Don’t waste time with bittersweet people, you won’t get that time back. You have much learning to do and no time fo’ mahfuck@s. It is worth your while to spend time thinking about more important things such as school and your artistic and spiritual development; focus on these aspects of your life and you will continue to add more meaning to it.

You don’t realize it now but when you place your self-worth in the hands of someone who doesn’t appreciate and love you for who you are, it really wounds your self esteem. Don’t worry about what others will think, you don’t owe them anything. Just remember that you have to love yourself for who you are and don’t be ashamed of what you need and what makes you happy. It’s not up to anyone to determine what happiness is for you. Happiness is relative to each person. If you take care of yourself and work to keep YOU happy, you’ll be much more grateful and at peace with yourself. Don’t create an inner war with yourself to the point of no return, learn to cope with your surroundings. Afterall life is a game of push and pull. There will always be things to learn and unlearn. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Dream BIG. Dreams don’t cost you anything. You don’t have a lot of people who expect much of you other than your teachers and your parents. YOUR life is about YOU. You have the opportunity to dream big and work hard towards making those dreams come true. It’s ok if right now you don’t have the funds to travel, you don’t need it. Get lost in a new culture, visit a temple you’ve never been to before, eat food from another origin, follow the sunset until the edge of the world. Write down a list of places you want to go to and things you want to accomplish. It is especially important to write things down so that you can visualize what you want to do and you can work towards that goal. Once you’ve seen those goals through, crossing them off your bucket-list will feel satisfying! You will have the feeling of accomplishment and will want to work towards more goals and challenge yourself along the way!

Yo, get your isht together. You have a whole life ahead of you, don’t let the moment pass you by and live!

Much love and best wishes,

Edith P.

New Beginnings

The new year approaching! There are so many things racing through my mind and so many things that I wanted to accomplish this year. Time is constant, life continues regardless if you finish a task or not. While it is important to try and reach your “finish line” you must understand that not everything will go as planned and you should make room for adjustments otherwise you will only be focusing on the failures. New Years is a perfect time to focus on new beginnings and start fresh. Don’t worry about what you did not accomplish instead learn from it. Those things are not within your reach and you can’t go back in time to change anything. The best thing you can do is look on the bright side and appreciate the goodness in your life.

Look at the past year and all that you have accomplished, and set new goals as you move forward. It’s important to reflect on the past, but don’t get stuck in it. There is a lot you can learn from studying the past, it doesn’t hurt to look back and accept the things you weren’t so proud of, they will help you make better decisions in the future. At the same time, there isn’t much you can do to change it either so you must accept it as it is and keep on keepin on. The only way to move forward is to come to terms with what’s happened and understand that it’s okay to fail. Reflecting on the past allows you to separate the good from the bad, now it’s up to you to decide what to do with this information. You can either dwell on the negative and feel bad or you can absorb the positive and be happy for what you DO have, feed off that energy to help you create more positive moments in your life.

Come the new year, goals will be the first things you write down so don’t forget to make them SMART ones! You remember what those are right? Of course you do. But just to recap, a SMART goal is one that is much easier to achieve because it is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. That’s not to say if your goal isn’t SMART you won’t achieve it, it will be much harder. Even after you’ve made your goal a SMART one, you may be wondering, “what if I fail to follow through with one of my goals?” If you are already doubting yourself, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. There will already be plenty of things working against you, don’t add yourself on the list of things that hold you back. Learn from where you failed and see how you could improve this time around. And remember, if you learned something valuable even when you didn’t reach your finish line, your hard work wasn’t in vain.  

Start this new year with positivity. You do not know what the new year will bring, so welcome it with a positive attitude. It’s ok to feel uncertain and afraid of uncharted territory, if you live life everyday thinking negatively, you’re only calling upon more negativity into your life. You don’t know how tomorrow will turn out so it’s important to receive the day with open arms, an open mind and the kind of attitude that will bring you positivity. Take one day at a time and view this year as a new beginning, as a chance to do better than yesteryear.  

Don’t worry about how you ended the year, you can’t change what’s happened, you can only learn from it. Stay positive as you look forward to achieving every goal you have set for yourself. Worry about what you are doing NOW to reach your goals. Your “new beginning” starts whenever you make it happen not when the clock hits 12. Don’t stand idly and hope that the new year will bring what you want, you have to be willing to put in the effort to begin the year with a new positive outlook and work to attain your dreams. Make it your task to bring good, positive things to yourself.

Learn from the past, live in the present, hope for the future.

WE WON!!!

We all have goals, and we all have the ability to conquer them. The trick is to have a plan and set realistic expectations to meet your goal. You also need to network with people who will support you in reaching your objective. Even if you feel like you’re not making progress, as long as you are working toward your target you’re benefiting from the process. When you finally accomplish your goal, there is a deep sigh of relief in knowing that all your hard work has paid off. However, goals are never ending, there will always be something greater you want to strive towards. You have to take them one goal at a time and one step at a time.

Prior to the 2014 November elections, we formed a coalition of community members to get involved with our local city election. We were afraid that our city government was going to be bought out by HUGE corporate interest which would tamper with the lives of our community members for the worse. Our work was crucial in educating our fellow voters about what was going on with the elections and getting them out to vote for the candidates we believed had the best interest of the community in mind. I can't even begin to explain how difficult I saw this race. There was so much money being poured into this election from large corporate interest, while we, the members of the community, only relied on a bit of funding and most importantly we had a community base unparalleled by these greed driven institutions. All of the grassroots efforts we put into making this election sway in our favor was unquestionably difficult, but not impossible. Day after day for months, we came together over tables of bottomless coffee mugs, energy bars, and pep talks. The days were endless and melted into each other, entire hours of restlessness allowed us a glimpse of insanity, we were holding on by a mere thread.

Everyone had a role to play in order to achieve our common goal. It wasn’t difficult to fall off track because we held each other accountable and expected everyone to put in a hundred and ten percent. However, when YOU are the only one fully responsible for YOUR goal, you have to hold YOURSELF accountable. The important thing is to keep your eyes on the prize, I know that this sounds a bit cliche but if you stray away from your ultimate goal, it will be much harder to reach.  For some, this means socializing less and dedicating majority of their time focusing on what they want to accomplish. I know during the time we were working toward our goal I couldn't think about anything else but the elections. Educating my neighbors on some of the issues we need to address as a community made my work so fulfilling. The lives of my fellow neighbors, family and friends along with my own are at stake and depends on the work we were doing. There were moments when I thought all hope was lost but knowing that I had other people who counted on me to play my role in the bigger picture gave me the motivation to keep going. I had support from close friends and family who believed in me and gave me the courage to keep fighting and keep giving my best no matter how much doubt kept crossing my mind. Don't be afraid to ask people for advice or to talk to a friend when you feel like your efforts are futile or when you feel like it's just too much. Perhaps all you need is a little bit of encouragement and words of wisdom to keep your flame burning until the end and don't give up.

In the end your efforts will not go unnoticed keep that in mind. There is no way to expect your reward if you don't put in the work. When you can almost taste your victory, push harder and know that you will be able to look back on the hard work that you did, and be satisfied with what you have achieved. You will always encounter setbacks but remember the words of George A. Custer, “It’s not about how many times you get knocked down that count, it’s how many times you get back up.” You will always learn from your mistakes and they will help you to figure out how you can do better. That is why it’s important to mentally prepare yourself for the ups and downs and always keep in mind that hard work will not go unnoticed. The universe will reward you well my friend, you just have to see beyond the horizon to realize what that reward will bring. Trust me nothing is impossible just keep your head in the game and know in the end the weight will melt off your shoulders knowing that you did everything you could.

After all the blood and sweat that we put into the election, we rejoiced in victory. All of the candidates we vouched for WON! Now that they are in office I can sleep easy, knowing that they have the community’s interest in mind. We can now work together with our governing reps to build a better community and work to accomplish new and exciting goals! This is just the beginning, you’re never really done because there will always be more goals you want to achieve. It’s important to reflect on the things you have already accomplished, but you should never “run out” of goals, and you should be constantly thinking about how you can grow and develop from where you are. Keep your body busy, because when you die that’s it... there is not much to do then, so do everything you want now!

Compete Less, Support More

Many of us have been raised to only think about ourselves and how we can get ahead in life. Living in a very individualistic society we often put ourselves against one another, we have to work at being happy for others. Not everything has to be a competition where someone wins and the rest lose. In fact everyone has the potential to gain something positive even when they don’t think they got what they wanted. EVERYONE wants to succeed, there is room for everyone in this world to get to where they want to be, with or without your support. However your support will make a difference and it will show them that you care. So, why not be that support? Your support of one another will build lasting relationships. Learn to be genuinely happy for the people around you. It is a little known fact that when people have the support of those around them, they will do better.

Be a support for people in your life to show them that you care, build a community with them where everyone looks out for each other and genuinely cares about their physical and emotional well being. The word "competition," carries the tone for rivalry. If you are stuck in the mindset of competition, you will eventually push everyone away. You will only be left with your OWN achievements and no one to share them with. There is a time and place to be competitive, however being competitive ALL THE TIME is not ok … it makes you come across as a conceded know it all.

Competing with others also prohibits you from being happy for them when they reach THEIR goals. Learn to celebrate others, there is more to life than just YOU and YOUR personal affairs! You are only a tiny speck of stardust on this hunk of rock and there are a million other things that also matter. So don’t become solely fixated on your own goals because you will miss out on the accomplishments of those around you: your kids, your spouse, your siblings and your friends. You don’t want to be so focused on winning to the point that you forget about the people who are important.

Not everything has to be seen in terms of who is winning and who is losing. Putting yourself against others in order to win signifies that someone else has to lose. If you are losing in a situation, then try to be optimistic and see what you can learn from this experience. Dr Seuss once said, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” In every experience there is something to be gained, and sometimes it is difficult to find what that “thing” is. At times you will think that everything is going wrong but you must look for the light at the end of the tunnel because it IS there, you just have to find it. One cannot live a positive life with a negative outlook. A bad experience will leave you with scars, but those scars make you stronger. You wouldn't be stronger if it weren't for THOSE experiences. It is not about winning or losing, it IS about what you gain from the experience. Being too competitive will leave you to think that if you don’t win, you lose. The reality is that no one loses, everyone gains something. When you support others you too are winning.

When you help others succeed, you also succeed. The concept of winning and losing is absurd. Every experience you have, whether it is a good one or a bad one, it always offers you something to be gained. When people reach their goals they will remember how much you supported them and that act will not go unnoticed, you will become a part of their success. Be there for the people around you, become present in their lives. Help bring out the best in them and that will bring out the best in you! A little support goes a long way.

~ Compete less, support more.

Graduation... Now What?

Being that it's graduation/commencement season, we decided to blog about new beginnings. For many of you who are graduating, I would like to congratulate you on your hard work and accomplishments. You have come so far from where you started, I want to remind you this is not the end this is only the beginning of the rest of your life... not to sound dramatic here but it’s the truth hahaha. SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL! FAST AND HARD!

A lot of you will go on to pursue higher education, take up an internship to step foot in  your dream job, others will save up money to move out, buy a car... pay off loans! Whatever the case may be, make sure that you are happy and doing what you want to do in life. For some people, finding a job that is relevant to what they have studied throughout college will come easy, and then there’s the rest of us who are still trying to figure that out. Dont give up, if you try your best and make every effort to achieve your goals, like graduating from college, in the end everything will work itself out. However if for some reason this ends up not working for you, at least you can always say it wasn’t because you didn’t try.

The aspect of new beginnings and simply going forward in life, does not mean that everything and everyone before this point is now unimportant. Remember those who have made a difference in your life during your academic career. Give thanks to those who have been there for you. Celebrate with your loved ones for this is an exciting moment that brings joy and happiness for everyone who cares about you. New beginnings aren’t that new, this moment is only highlighted because of how far you have come. It’s a way of publicly announcing your accomplishments. Beginnings don’t start from scratch there are always strings attached and it’s imperative that you take into account everything you have experienced in your past.  

Life will always test your strength. You will go through failures, dark times, success followed by bad news. But everything happens for a reason. In this lifetime you can make things happen, make things fit into your reality. After walking the stage, shaking some seasoned hands and getting your picture taken, life takes on a different outlook. You have about 6 months to start paying off your student debt. Finding a stepping stone job may be hard for some while easy for others. Being fulfilled with what that job has to offer you in the long run will allow you to evolve. In the mean time try not to give up on your hopes and dreams, if they are meant to be then they will resolve in due time. The fact of the matter is that you never stop learning, every day is a step toward your goal, you graduate everyday.

Dream Big, Aim High