I Miss You Grandpa

Have you ever taken the time to listen to the elderly about their lives? Could you imagine all of the things that they have seen in their time living on this planet? It's sad to see that younger generations aren't more respectful to the elders. Just the other day, as I was making my way out of church and I was ready to hit the road to grab a bite to eat. I found that people ahead of me were walking slowly. I didn't mind it but I did notice the significant change of pace. I was curious to see what the hold up was when I noticed other people were jumping over the railings to bail out of the slow moving cluster of people. I looked ahead as far as I could, there was an older man whose body was tired and rigid, yet still strong enough to support who I assumed to be his wife. She was short, slow and used a walker for she was incapable of walking without assistance. I took compassion of the old couple and found myself growing less anxious to move past them. Instead I conformed to their pace, in part because it would have been completely rude to pass them up since the walkway was quite narrow and would require me to squeeze past them. In the meantime I began to think to myself, "I wonder how old they were, how long they have been together, and if they knew they were holding up the line, or if they even cared." I don’t get to interact with older folks very often, so this was interesting to experience. The fact that I made the choice to slow down to their pace rather than hurry past them was a perspective changer. While most people thought that waiting was a waste of time, the slowing down gave me the opportunity to appreciate my surroundings. I have been attending this church for 6 years and I have never even noticed the beautiful rose bush at the entrance of the building. If it weren’t for the elderly couple slowing down the crowd, I might not have noticed the gorgeous shrubbery.

Young people don't realize that patience is a virtue. Everything has become so fast paced and advanced, that we have grown accustomed to getting everything in a matter of minutes or seconds which has made our patience grow thin. Take the people at the church who decided to jump the railing, they did not take the time to appreciate the moment and did not think about how the elderly couple felt. Their act of impatience was purely rude, and they can never take back what they did. Respect your elders, they came before you and deserve to be celebrated and honored.Teaching our youth to respect the elderly will set the expectations for future generations. A lot of youngsters these days can be so rude and their disregard for their elders is utterly disgusting. Everyone deserves the same respect regardless of age, race, sex, and gender. We are all human and have been fortunate enough to walk the earth, we should honor that and keep that in mind always. We are only here momentarily, sooner or later we will all depart this cruel world. Growing old is a privilege, not many people get to grow old. Studies have shown that old people are growing rapidly extinct, let’s enjoy them while we can.

My grandfather passed away about a year and a half ago. He was a great musician and played in a band with his sons and his grandchildren. In his younger days he was a busy man. He played in different places around Mexico and taught music to a number of people, some of whom became famous and are still very successful today. My grandfather built a legacy for our family, and it has carried down through the generations. I wish I could have spent more time with him to get to learn more about his life and his travels around Mexico and the US as a musician. As someone who wishes they could have had more opportunities to learn more about their grandfather, I encourage you to be patient with your elders and elders in general. Fortunately I still have my grandmother, however, I don't have the privilege to be with her every day. If I'm lucky, I get to see her at least every OTHER year. My grandma-ma is the only living link I have to my ancestors and I will cherish every moment with her and not take it for granted. Take the time to get to know the elders in your life, they will not always be here. Learn all that you can from your antecedents and cultivate the relationship as much as possible so that when they are gone, you won’t be stuck with the feeling of utter regret and sorrow. When they are gone, they are GONE. There is no turning back the clock because time waits for no one.

Remember this, treat others how you want to be treated. Even though older people are slow to walk, hard of hearing, and some smell funny, they are still people who live, breathe and matter. Anyone who has an impact in our lives will take a piece of us with them when they are gone. When it comes to our grandparents that bond is stronger, because without THEM, WE would not be here. In order to move forward in life it is important to know where you come from. So take the time to learn what you can from them … treasure it, not everyone has that opportunity.

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH

My Friend: The Living Martyr

If you don't know what a martyr is, Merriam Webster says that it is a person who suffers constantly. Now, I know I’m probably far fetched from the original definition but the word that would more closely describe this friend of mine. There are many different kinds of people, who fall into the spectrum between those who are selfish to the bone and people who think of everything but themselves. I consider the selfless people to have characteristics of martyrs. They go through so much pain and suffer through some messed up situations for others. Usually they bear the suffering for the people they consider loved ones. Although, in some cases, the people they suffer for aren’t even worth it, in my opinion. I arrive to this conclusion from my own observations where the person they suffer for does not put in the same amount of effort into the relationship. However, the selfless being believes their commitment to the relationship is worth it. I just wish I could slap some sense into them but I also find myself in that situation at times so I know exactly what it’s like. Everyone is different, all I know is that I have to respect their wishes as I hope they do mine.

The purpose of this post is to shed light on the folks who give it all and expect nothing in return. While this is the highest form of humility in my opinion, it’s easy for many to overlook the acts of selflessness, and that’s unfortunate. There is nothing wrong with standing up for what you believe is important, despite the consequences. However, I feel there is a point in time where the line needs to be drawn. The selfless person needs to figure out for themselves where that line gets placed. Hopefully they can realize when the people they support unconditionally do not meet those same standards in return. Know your limits and come to terms when you see that the other person doesn’t appreciate your commitment. They don’t see the value in all you do for them, so why waste your time if you’re getting nothing in return? Don’t forget that you are also important and deserve to be around those who appreciate you to the same extent. It’s completely fine to be a little selfish every once in a while. In making others happy you should remember that you need to come first. When you go to bed, you’re left with your own thoughts naturally you are  alone so you need to love yourself unconditionally. Ernest Hemingway once said, “The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”

It’s great if you go out of your way to make others happy but you must not forget that you are also very important. You should always take care of yourself first if you want to help others. You can’t expect to patch someone up if you’re hurt as well. And you must always remember that you should spend your precious time on those who are worth it, i.e. those who will equally go out of their way for you as you do for them. Treat others as you wish to be treated.

Trust

Have you ever told anyone something in confidence, and the next thing you know everyone and they momma knows? Well my trust was broken recently, and after I found out I was angry. How could this person do this to me? But I soon realized that this is what happens when you trust someone, it’s risky. You cannot control what other people say or do, you just have to have faith that the person you trusted has enough respect for you to not tell others about your business.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, trust is defined as the belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, etc.. The key word that I would like to zone in on is “belief.” Just because we made the judgement that someone can be trusted does not mean that it is true. As a result, the only person that you can trust is yourself because you are the only one in control of your actions. I feel that I should be mad at is myself. I believed that this person was trustworthy. I made the wrong judgment and I was the one to get hurt in the end.

Looking back at this experience I have a better grasp on what trust is. I know that I cannot control what other people say or do, and I cannot go back in time and stop myself from telling this person, because at the time this is exactly what I wanted to do. As for that person, I now know I cannot tell them anything anymore, they did not have enough respect for me to keep this conversation between the two of us. They will never know I found out that they betrayed me, they will never know because this person is simply not worth my breath.

With that being said learning to trust someone is important in any relationship if it is meant to last, but it takes a long time to get to the point where people can trust one another. When you say that you trust someone it says many things about the other person’s character. Just knowing that you can trust someone says that you are familiar with their values and you know that this person would never do anything that would hurt you. As the writer George MacDonald said, “to be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”

~Love is hard to come by, but trust is harder

Be NICE

“Treat others how you want to be treated.” I grew up hearing a phrase that is very similar to this one. In my experience I have seen that many people are treated like sh*t!!! It may be someone you go to school with, someone in the workplace, or even someone you see while walking down the street. The fact of the matter is that there will always be insensitive people, but how we treat people says a lot about who we are as individuals.

Regardless of age and status you are obligated to treat everyone with kindness and respect. The Egyptian philosopher, Philo said it best, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” We are all human and we all have human emotions, as a result we do not know what people around us are going through. With that being said we should also not over analyze what other people do to us, because we simply do not know what provoked the other person’s actions.

If you ever find yourself in the position where you feel that someone is not treating you right ,you have the right to ask them why that is. When you ask the other person it is very important that you stop and realize that your words and actions will carry weight, and you must really think about your delivery. Be kind and think about how YOU would want to be approached in this situation. Chances are they did not even realize what they were doing and will not know how their actions are effecting you unless you say something. I think that the most important thing is to realize that we are all human and we ALL make mistakes, what matters is not those mistakes, but the fact that we learn from those mistakes, and we become better people for it.

Treating others the way you would like to be treated can be an extension to the idea of being the change you would like to see in the world. Becoming a kind and more understanding person can effect other people because our moods are also contagious, be nice and nice is what you will get back.

I would like to leave you with the words of Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

~Be Nice :D