To Control, or Not Control?

There are many aspects in your life that you can control such as your own happiness, who you talk to, where you go, what you feed yourself, what you do in your day-to-day life and the list goes on. However, there are many other things that you do not have control over, such as other people’s happiness, time, death or what other people’s opinions are.The things out of our control are the ones we tend to stress about the most, we are fearful that the outcome will not be a favorable one. I have found myself on countless occasions fixating on a situation that I do not have control over, but for what? I cannot change the outcome, so, why waste my energy? If you know there is nothing in your power to impact the result then move on, there is no point in wasting your time and energy. Do not fixate on things that are out of your control, it will only affect your wellbeing and cause chaos in your life.

It is in human nature to want to be in control of all aspects of life, we want to make sure the outcome is favorable for us. Naturally, we want to “fix” things or be in control of what is happening around us. We hate feeling helpless so we gravitate toward controlling the situations in our lives. We need to realize that there is nothing we can do to change the outcome, and that nothing needs to be “fixed.” Whether it be through divine intervention, or the universe working to maintain the flow, things are as they should be and we need to accept that. Trying to be in control causes unnecessary stress and anxiety, it causes us to hurt ourselves in more ways than we realize. Stressing does not change the result, it is useless and we cannot do anything with it. Sometimes we need to trust that the universe will take care of our problems, and shift our perspective and use that energy constructively.

When I was very young I realized that people are going to judge me, no matter what. Everyone will formulate an opinion whether it be good, or bad. I cannot control what they think of me, the only thing I can do is try to be the best person possible. Ultimately, I cannot control the thoughts of others, and I do not want to burden my mind worrying about what someone else thinks of me. This is an unnecessary stress. If I am happy being me, what does it matter what another person thinks? In the end I can’t control their opinion of me, but I can control how it affects me. Take control of the things that are within your reach.

We have all wished at some point in our lives that we could control time, but we can’t. There are countless movies that build their foundation on the concept of time travel. We as an audience hope and wish that these movies will one day become our reality. Sorry to break it to you, but it will NOT happen, because if it will, it would have already happened … if that makes any sense … Well if it doesn't that’s ok it, time travel is a completely different can of worms (by worms I mean blog post). The plain and simple point is that you cannot change the past or control the future. The past has already happened and whatever you say or do will not change the effect of what has already came to pass. We cannot predict the future nor can we control it, however we can influence our future by working on our present. All you need to do is be the best person you can possibly be NOW, and hope that your actions result in the best possible outcome.

Stressing about things out of our control is a worthless use of energy. That energy can be better used on hard work, or being someone’s friend, encouraging someone, or spreading kindness. Use that energy to make the world a better place, don’t be distracted by something that is out of your control.

I Miss You Grandpa

Have you ever taken the time to listen to the elderly about their lives? Could you imagine all of the things that they have seen in their time living on this planet? It's sad to see that younger generations aren't more respectful to the elders. Just the other day, as I was making my way out of church and I was ready to hit the road to grab a bite to eat. I found that people ahead of me were walking slowly. I didn't mind it but I did notice the significant change of pace. I was curious to see what the hold up was when I noticed other people were jumping over the railings to bail out of the slow moving cluster of people. I looked ahead as far as I could, there was an older man whose body was tired and rigid, yet still strong enough to support who I assumed to be his wife. She was short, slow and used a walker for she was incapable of walking without assistance. I took compassion of the old couple and found myself growing less anxious to move past them. Instead I conformed to their pace, in part because it would have been completely rude to pass them up since the walkway was quite narrow and would require me to squeeze past them. In the meantime I began to think to myself, "I wonder how old they were, how long they have been together, and if they knew they were holding up the line, or if they even cared." I don’t get to interact with older folks very often, so this was interesting to experience. The fact that I made the choice to slow down to their pace rather than hurry past them was a perspective changer. While most people thought that waiting was a waste of time, the slowing down gave me the opportunity to appreciate my surroundings. I have been attending this church for 6 years and I have never even noticed the beautiful rose bush at the entrance of the building. If it weren’t for the elderly couple slowing down the crowd, I might not have noticed the gorgeous shrubbery.

Young people don't realize that patience is a virtue. Everything has become so fast paced and advanced, that we have grown accustomed to getting everything in a matter of minutes or seconds which has made our patience grow thin. Take the people at the church who decided to jump the railing, they did not take the time to appreciate the moment and did not think about how the elderly couple felt. Their act of impatience was purely rude, and they can never take back what they did. Respect your elders, they came before you and deserve to be celebrated and honored.Teaching our youth to respect the elderly will set the expectations for future generations. A lot of youngsters these days can be so rude and their disregard for their elders is utterly disgusting. Everyone deserves the same respect regardless of age, race, sex, and gender. We are all human and have been fortunate enough to walk the earth, we should honor that and keep that in mind always. We are only here momentarily, sooner or later we will all depart this cruel world. Growing old is a privilege, not many people get to grow old. Studies have shown that old people are growing rapidly extinct, let’s enjoy them while we can.

My grandfather passed away about a year and a half ago. He was a great musician and played in a band with his sons and his grandchildren. In his younger days he was a busy man. He played in different places around Mexico and taught music to a number of people, some of whom became famous and are still very successful today. My grandfather built a legacy for our family, and it has carried down through the generations. I wish I could have spent more time with him to get to learn more about his life and his travels around Mexico and the US as a musician. As someone who wishes they could have had more opportunities to learn more about their grandfather, I encourage you to be patient with your elders and elders in general. Fortunately I still have my grandmother, however, I don't have the privilege to be with her every day. If I'm lucky, I get to see her at least every OTHER year. My grandma-ma is the only living link I have to my ancestors and I will cherish every moment with her and not take it for granted. Take the time to get to know the elders in your life, they will not always be here. Learn all that you can from your antecedents and cultivate the relationship as much as possible so that when they are gone, you won’t be stuck with the feeling of utter regret and sorrow. When they are gone, they are GONE. There is no turning back the clock because time waits for no one.

Remember this, treat others how you want to be treated. Even though older people are slow to walk, hard of hearing, and some smell funny, they are still people who live, breathe and matter. Anyone who has an impact in our lives will take a piece of us with them when they are gone. When it comes to our grandparents that bond is stronger, because without THEM, WE would not be here. In order to move forward in life it is important to know where you come from. So take the time to learn what you can from them … treasure it, not everyone has that opportunity.

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH