To Control, or Not Control?

There are many aspects in your life that you can control such as your own happiness, who you talk to, where you go, what you feed yourself, what you do in your day-to-day life and the list goes on. However, there are many other things that you do not have control over, such as other people’s happiness, time, death or what other people’s opinions are.The things out of our control are the ones we tend to stress about the most, we are fearful that the outcome will not be a favorable one. I have found myself on countless occasions fixating on a situation that I do not have control over, but for what? I cannot change the outcome, so, why waste my energy? If you know there is nothing in your power to impact the result then move on, there is no point in wasting your time and energy. Do not fixate on things that are out of your control, it will only affect your wellbeing and cause chaos in your life.

It is in human nature to want to be in control of all aspects of life, we want to make sure the outcome is favorable for us. Naturally, we want to “fix” things or be in control of what is happening around us. We hate feeling helpless so we gravitate toward controlling the situations in our lives. We need to realize that there is nothing we can do to change the outcome, and that nothing needs to be “fixed.” Whether it be through divine intervention, or the universe working to maintain the flow, things are as they should be and we need to accept that. Trying to be in control causes unnecessary stress and anxiety, it causes us to hurt ourselves in more ways than we realize. Stressing does not change the result, it is useless and we cannot do anything with it. Sometimes we need to trust that the universe will take care of our problems, and shift our perspective and use that energy constructively.

When I was very young I realized that people are going to judge me, no matter what. Everyone will formulate an opinion whether it be good, or bad. I cannot control what they think of me, the only thing I can do is try to be the best person possible. Ultimately, I cannot control the thoughts of others, and I do not want to burden my mind worrying about what someone else thinks of me. This is an unnecessary stress. If I am happy being me, what does it matter what another person thinks? In the end I can’t control their opinion of me, but I can control how it affects me. Take control of the things that are within your reach.

We have all wished at some point in our lives that we could control time, but we can’t. There are countless movies that build their foundation on the concept of time travel. We as an audience hope and wish that these movies will one day become our reality. Sorry to break it to you, but it will NOT happen, because if it will, it would have already happened … if that makes any sense … Well if it doesn't that’s ok it, time travel is a completely different can of worms (by worms I mean blog post). The plain and simple point is that you cannot change the past or control the future. The past has already happened and whatever you say or do will not change the effect of what has already came to pass. We cannot predict the future nor can we control it, however we can influence our future by working on our present. All you need to do is be the best person you can possibly be NOW, and hope that your actions result in the best possible outcome.

Stressing about things out of our control is a worthless use of energy. That energy can be better used on hard work, or being someone’s friend, encouraging someone, or spreading kindness. Use that energy to make the world a better place, don’t be distracted by something that is out of your control.

Perspective: It’s All In How You See Things

Everyone gets busy in their own lives, there are everyday stresses that we simply cannot avoid. Paying the bills on time, affording gas ... how will you get around? Taking the kids to school, cleaning the house, walking the dog, the list goes on and on, and the list of responsibilities never stops growing. There are also the unexpected stresses that take up much more energy such as dealing with an new illness, or the death of a loved one, or even the end of a relationship. Some of these issues may make you feel as though your life is over and you will not be able to see yourself out of the mess. We talked about depression in a past post, and in that post we talked about how it is important to be left alone for a while so that one can gather one’s thoughts. The main goal is to not let the stress take over our lives; the stress will always be there. Stress is never gonna go away, we have to learn how to change our perspective about the situation at hand.

Reevaluating our perspective on something may sound a lot harder than it actually is. This is important because it helps you realize that you are not the only one that has troubles. The trick is being able to step out of yourself once in a while, and realizing JUST how small you are. Look at the night sky and just contemplate how many stars are shining back at you, and how many other planets there are … and JUST let your mind spin out from there. Another great way to reevaluate your perspective is to look out at a vast body of water, and allow yourself to feel small next to the ocean. Watch as the waves meet the land for a tiny instant only to be ripped away again in this never ending process. Think about all of the other people on this planet. Trust me, once you look out into the unknown; the infinite universe, your problems will not seem so troubling any more. You will be able to clear up your mind and there is a likelihood that when you come back to your dilemma with fresh eyes, it won’t seem so complicated.

Keep in mind that not everything is black and white, you won’t be able to control each and every factor in the situation. Be grateful and always trust that things will workout. You have to realize that you are small, the oceans and the skies will have that effect on you. Trusting the infinite, and the unknown will allow you to let go because the universe has a funny way of solving your problems. There is a point when you come to terms with whatever is bothering you and when you realize that it is no longer in your control, you will stop stressing about it. Your stress will not change the outcome, it will only take a toll on you and those around you. Chances are, someone else on this planet has it a lot worse than you do, after all there are more than seven billion people on this this rock we call home.  

We lose our perspective when we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel but we can regain it by making ourselves small. Becoming small allows us to look beyond our own thoughts and realize that we are stressing over something that can’t change. Everything that we are going through is not really as big as we think it is, it all seems important until it does not anymore.

~ Become small. Worry less.