I Am Not My Mistakes

Mistakes, we ALL make them, but how are our mistakes any worse or better than that of others? When I make a mistake and I learn from it, I will never intentionally make THAT mistake again. What gets under my skin is how others will always judge me for something that I did quite some time ago. I have learned from THAT mistake, however, THEY do not know that. For some reason people think they have the right to hold my error over my head for as long as I walk this planet. From this I have learned, that when others make mistakes, I have to remember that we are all humans striving to make a better life. A part of making that better life is to learn from our mistakes and become better people. We are forever changing and it is important that we all realize this fact not only about ourselves, but others around us as well. Along with learning from our mistakes we also have to offer others the opportunity to learn from their mistakes but we must never do it in a condescending manner.

I am not perfect! You are not perfect! So, why has society lead us to believe that our imperfections are something to hide and be ashamed of? Mistakes are one such imperfection. Imperfections make us human, it is proof that we are human. Making mistakes is an opportunity for learning and becoming a better version of yourself. If we make a mistake it is not the end of the world and if ANOTHER person makes a mistake, we need to realized that the world did not end, we are STILL here! :O The life lessons that YOU have learned not everyone has had the opportunity to learn them. Your life experiences and the lessons you learn shape your view of the world, and not everyone has the same worldview as you. When other people make a mistake, that is a part of their learning process. We should support one another’s personal development, by helping them see what is to be gained from the mistake. If we see that another person has made a mistake and we decide to stay silent, then we are apart of the problem and not the solution. Jesse Jackson once said, “Never look down on anybody unless you are helping them up.” If you are not planning on helping someone learn from their mistake, then you most definitely do not have the right to judge them for it and hold it against them forever.

We have all heard the phrase, “forgive and forget,” but what does that mean? Many people say that you are not really over a situation until you are able to forgive and forget, which is true, but I think it also has a lot to do with one’s inner peace. When people have wronged you in your life, you have the right to be angry and upset about it, however, holding on to that anger and resentment will not get you anywhere. If you hold a grudge over someone’s head for a long time it takes away at your inner peace. As my buddy, Buddha from another lifetime once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” If you preoccupy your time with what another person did in their past, you will miss out on the person they have become. I am not the same person I was yesterday, and I am most definitely not the same person I was back in high school or middle school. I have done thing in the past that I am not proud of and when I have the opportunity to make amends I do, but I do not want to be judged for the person I was and for the mistakes I have made. The people that I have wronged have the right to be mad, but how would they feel if the shoe was on the other foot? We have all done things that we are not proud of but being able to make amends with those people offers a sense of closure for both parties.

So when you have the power to give others another chance, do it! All we can do is hope that the other person has truly learned from their mistakes and move on.

“Chut Yo Mouth Stupid!”

I have learned to live my life without regarding myself with other’s business. As a result it really bothers me when others feel they have the right to tell me what I have done wrong, especially when I see them doing the same thing. I have said it before, NO ONE IS PERFECT, and I understand that everyone can do better, which is why I know I do not have the right to tell someone else what they are doing wrong. I only give my opinion to others when it is clear that they want it, but even then I am careful not to make assumptions because we all live a different life.

Recently I was being lectured on my actions and how what I did was wrong. I was aware that it was wrong, and I did not need this person breathing down my neck. Now that I am looking back at the situation, I have realized that the person that was giving me grief makes the same mistakes as me.

It is ok to give others constructive feedback, but when the feedback is unwanted and not given in the the right way it can be catastrophic. I welcome feedback, because it is the only way I will learn from my mistakes and become a better person. But when someone lectures me and attacks my morals and values, that makes me feel like a little kid that has no idea what I am doing. When I make a mistake chances are I have already realized that I have made it, and will make amends in my own time.

So, at the end of the day, when someone tries to attack me for something I did, I just write it off as that person has some issues that THEY need to work out. Everyone has sh*t they need to deal with, and for some, lecturing others on their behavior will help the lecturer come to terms with their own issues. The person that is being attacked should not read too much into it, they should just think of it as helping the other person on their journey of self realization. The lecturer is only trying to make themselves feel better by trying to undo their own mistakes. Worry about yourself, you got your own issues you need to deal with, as do I, so why spend your time and energy on people who don’t even give one, two, or even three sh*ts about you.

~Ta Ta

Two Little Words

“I’m sorry.” a phrase that is used too much, or not used enough. This post is going to focus on people that are not saying it enough. I think one of my bigger pet peeves is when someone does something wrong and they make up excuses to justify what they did. I could really care less why you did it the fact still remains that you did it. An even bigger pet peeve is when people only say the words but it is very clear that they do not mean them. They only say it because it is what they think you want to hear to avoid further conflict, but it only makes the situation worse.

I think that one main reason why people do not mutter those two little words is because their ego gets in the way.(I wrote about pride and ego a few weeks ago, please check it out check it now!!!) Most people hate it when they are wrong, so those two little words is them admitting that they are wrong. I have met many people who think they are always right, these people are really bad at taking criticism. No harm will come from saying you are sorry from time to time, others will not look down on you for it. I believe that there is great power that comes with saying you are sorry, it means that you have accepted your mistake, and you are now willing to do something about it.

So the next time you are wrong about something, and/or you hurt someone, own up to it, say you are sorry. You have to take responsibility for your mistakes. Those two little words can make a BIG difference.

~Ta.  

REGRETS

Don't dwell on regrets. Sometimes we regret what we do or say, and we dwell on those experiences longer than we should. In my experience, I wasted time and energy regretting a lot of things that I have and haven't done and I wound up in a downward spiral of self destruction. Self destruction sucks because the damage is coming from my own will power and most if the time I'm the only that can help myself out. I try to my best to not be so hard on myself, and I try to look at what I can learn from that experience. Of course, I have friends that I can count on to be there when I need them the most, but ultimately it’s up to me to get past that regret and I can’t be helped if I’m not ready to open up about my past.

Actions have consequences, that is a given. I have come to accept the good, the bad as well as my mistakes because they have sculpted the person I am today. I am at peace with the person I have become.

I believe that everyone is a reflection of their past and that everything happens for a reason, so to sit there and regret anything for too long would be futile. I'm not saying you don't have control over your path in life but the past is the past and unless you have a time machine you can't do anything to change it. However, you have to come to terms with regretful scenarios and take the positives so you can learn from them. It’s ok to think about your mistakes but don’t dwell on them because there is plenty of good that comes out of any situation and deserves more of your focus.

If it weren’t for regrets you wouldn’t have the opportunity to reflect and learn from your mistakes. What if you went through life without any regrets? how would you be able to develop as a person? That would indicate perfection and thats just ridiculous. Part of being human is reconstructing oneself and learning constantly. So stop dwelling and start developing, you are only human.

Peace out babes ;-*

Be NICE

“Treat others how you want to be treated.” I grew up hearing a phrase that is very similar to this one. In my experience I have seen that many people are treated like sh*t!!! It may be someone you go to school with, someone in the workplace, or even someone you see while walking down the street. The fact of the matter is that there will always be insensitive people, but how we treat people says a lot about who we are as individuals.

Regardless of age and status you are obligated to treat everyone with kindness and respect. The Egyptian philosopher, Philo said it best, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” We are all human and we all have human emotions, as a result we do not know what people around us are going through. With that being said we should also not over analyze what other people do to us, because we simply do not know what provoked the other person’s actions.

If you ever find yourself in the position where you feel that someone is not treating you right ,you have the right to ask them why that is. When you ask the other person it is very important that you stop and realize that your words and actions will carry weight, and you must really think about your delivery. Be kind and think about how YOU would want to be approached in this situation. Chances are they did not even realize what they were doing and will not know how their actions are effecting you unless you say something. I think that the most important thing is to realize that we are all human and we ALL make mistakes, what matters is not those mistakes, but the fact that we learn from those mistakes, and we become better people for it.

Treating others the way you would like to be treated can be an extension to the idea of being the change you would like to see in the world. Becoming a kind and more understanding person can effect other people because our moods are also contagious, be nice and nice is what you will get back.

I would like to leave you with the words of Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

~Be Nice :D