Thanksgiving: Revealed

Thanksgiving is a great holiday, it gives us a reason to reflect on our lives. We have a chance to see all of the positives the past year has brought and it allows us to give thanks alongside the ones we love. In grade school, we as a nation were taught that the Pilgrims at Plymouth Rock and the Native Americans came together to have a peaceful meal and gave thanks. As time went on, I have heard about many different stories that tell us otherwise, and the evidence is convincing. Even as a child, in grade school I never fully grasped what my teachers were telling us, something just did not add up. I decided to do my own research about Thanksgiving and now things are beginning to make more sense.  

As a child I was well aware that I was different; my name was different, my hair was different, my skin was different, my family was different. As a result, I felt that the whites, (Pilgrims) and the colored, (Native Americans) having a meal together was very hard to believe. However, learning more about the context during that “First Thanksgiving,” helped to make more sense of the real story. Before I continue, this was not the “First” Thanksgiving, as we were told. There is evidence that shows that these types of gatherings took place more than once a year, and actually involved fasting to give thanks to the Almighty. Don’t take my word for it go look it up. In 1621, the Pilgrims were outnumbered by the Native Americans, 50 to 90. The personal accounts during the 1621 Thanksgiving, did not show any signs that would affect how we celebrate Thanksgiving today. The Pilgrims were celebrating their harvest, and the Native Americans did the hunting for the 3 day feast. The Pilgrims clearly did not have the upper hand over the Native Americans, they were higher in numbers, and they knew the land much better. After finding these answers, I was only left with more questions.

Despite this friendly exchange between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans, there was still a genocide, known as the Indian Massacre of 1622. Why is it that in grade school this fact was conveniently left out? I also found that the Native Americans were the ones to blame when it came to the cause of the genocide. They say that the Natives came to sell goods and they were UNARMED, but they grabbed anything they could find and started to kill the English settlers. 347 settlers were killed on this day. This does not make any sense to me, what could they possibly be selling goods in exchange for? The Native Americans have been on this land for hundreds of years and did not need the assistance of the English settlers. If they came with the intent to kill, why did they come unarmed? Furthermore, how do you kill 347 people if you are UNARMED? If the “First Thanksgiving” was as peaceful as they were telling us in school, why was it that less than 6 months later the English settlers felt the need to kill the Native Americans? This story was clearly written by the English settlers to justify their actions.

To complicate things even more, (You are quite welcome) what about slavery, scientific racism, and the Jim Crow laws? This history is much more recent and cannot be questioned to the same extent as Thanksgiving. If people in the 1950’s, only 70 years ago, had a problem with drinking from the same water fountain as a colored person, then how does it make sense that the Pilgrims, 393 years ago, had no issues sharing an ENTIRE 3 day feast with a group of colored Native Americans? Does the story of the Pilgrims and Indians suggest we got dumber? No, it does not, it’s just a story, that’s all it is, a story that does not make sense. We MAKE-UP stories to keep everyone entertained. We throw in a few moralistic attributes to make the listener feel as though they are gaining something from the story. In the case of the Thanksgiving story, we are gaining the virtue of being thankful and learning how to coexist with people from different backgrounds. The events of 1621 may be true, but where is the evidence? The Indian Massacre of 1622 does not offer such evidence, nor does the hundreds of years of slavery and segregation that followed.

Looking at these events does not change anything. Generations to come will continue to celebrate thanksgiving no matter what is said about it. We weren’t there and we will never really know what happened in the past. There is a difference between the “past” and “history.” The past is what actually happened, while history is the story that the winner wants you to believe. History gets manifested by whoever has the money to commision the writers to write what “the money” wants. Money talks. Our history books and the teachers that HAVE to teach us these events, are being paid by that same money. They should teach the students both sides of the story so that they can come to their own conclusion, simply supply the facts. Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the Native Americans. The celebration was derived from a religious holiday that has morphed into what we know today. The idea of this “peaceful” exchange between the Pilgrims and Native Americans, is just the means by which “the money” tries to cover up their mistakes. The Thanksgiving story is one such method to cover something up. The Pilgrims invited the Natives to the feast, this shows the reader that the Pilgrims were the nice ones. Killing hundreds if not thousands of Natives, for no reason was what “the money” wanted to cover up. “The money” was able to turn the reason for the massacre back on to the Natives by saying the reason they killed all of them was because THEY attacked first.

Despite the lies that surround Thanksgiving day, it is our job to unravel the stories and remember what this day has come to mean for us and our families. Whatever story “the money” is telling to save THEIR a$$, does not get to dictate the reason we celebrate Thanksgiving. There are Native American groups around the U.S. that honor and remember the many lives that were lost during this time in “American” history. Knowing this past is important, but there is nothing we can do to “fix” it, all we can do is learn from it, and hope for a better future. So be grateful for what you have now, be merry, and enjoy a meal with those you love and love you back.

~Go get you some Churkey!

Family Holidays

The holidays are just around the corner! Did you make sure to get the turkey? How many are we serving? Will there be enough? What about the presents?! The holidays are just another great way to stress about everything, HOORAY! .. No, let’s remember what the holidays are about, the importance of having your family and loved ones together to enjoy each others company and to catch up. We already spend so much time busy with work and dealing with our own lives that we forget who matters the most, our loved ones. Take the time to celebrate and focus on the good things, and be grateful for the people around you that you love and care about. Realize that the holidays are about appreciating what you have now.

This is the time of the year to let go of pointless grudges, all the pent up emotions will not make for healthy vibes to add to the holiday cheer. Use this opportunity to start smoothing out those rough edges and tying up loose ends. There’s nothing in the world that can’t be ‘fixed’ and it’s better to settle things for the sake of common peace and well being. Grudges are pointless, they lead you to open up a bottle of old negative emotions that can ruin a perfectly good family reunion. Not to mention, they take a toll on your personal peace and well being. Don’t let past issues mess up your’s and your loved ones chance to catch up. Grudges don’t solve a thing, instead focus on creating good memories with the people you love so you have something good to look back on. When you are dealing with hard times, these are the memories you want to come back to, not the grudges.

I think it’s sad when people let greed reign during the holidays. I have been taught that it’s better to give than to receive. I’m not saying it’s not okay to treat yourself or feel excited to receive a present from someone, but that’s not what the festivities are about. The holidays are about giving. Unfortunately, I know people who give to receive and they expect to get some ridiculously expensive gifts in return. If this is the only way for them to feel happy during these holidays then they’ve completely missed the point. When you receive a gift, it’s the thought that counts and not the money spent on the gift. Do not expect to receive gifts, when you do it’ll be a nice surprise. Let gratitude reign over greed!

Materialistic things are not as important as your loved ones so dont waste your time on objects, they won’t be able to give you love and support. Celebrate eachothers presence, it’s not about the gifts! During these holidays appreciate your loved ones and look forward to more joyful moments with them in future gatherings. The experiences you build with your loved ones are priceless. Appreciate each other to the fullest while you still can. Don’t let these family gatherings get SO spaced out allowing the tumbleweed to roll in between. Treasure everyone while you can because if you wait until next year to see them, who knows if the same ones will come back for the next holiday. Be grateful of the folks that are in your life, because there will be a time when they will no longer be there.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it’s gonna melt! In all seriousness, after reading this post, go give your folks a call and tell them just how much you love and appreciate them, this will make them feel so loved :) Don’t be a stranger now!

Happy Family Time!

To Control, or Not Control?

There are many aspects in your life that you can control such as your own happiness, who you talk to, where you go, what you feed yourself, what you do in your day-to-day life and the list goes on. However, there are many other things that you do not have control over, such as other people’s happiness, time, death or what other people’s opinions are.The things out of our control are the ones we tend to stress about the most, we are fearful that the outcome will not be a favorable one. I have found myself on countless occasions fixating on a situation that I do not have control over, but for what? I cannot change the outcome, so, why waste my energy? If you know there is nothing in your power to impact the result then move on, there is no point in wasting your time and energy. Do not fixate on things that are out of your control, it will only affect your wellbeing and cause chaos in your life.

It is in human nature to want to be in control of all aspects of life, we want to make sure the outcome is favorable for us. Naturally, we want to “fix” things or be in control of what is happening around us. We hate feeling helpless so we gravitate toward controlling the situations in our lives. We need to realize that there is nothing we can do to change the outcome, and that nothing needs to be “fixed.” Whether it be through divine intervention, or the universe working to maintain the flow, things are as they should be and we need to accept that. Trying to be in control causes unnecessary stress and anxiety, it causes us to hurt ourselves in more ways than we realize. Stressing does not change the result, it is useless and we cannot do anything with it. Sometimes we need to trust that the universe will take care of our problems, and shift our perspective and use that energy constructively.

When I was very young I realized that people are going to judge me, no matter what. Everyone will formulate an opinion whether it be good, or bad. I cannot control what they think of me, the only thing I can do is try to be the best person possible. Ultimately, I cannot control the thoughts of others, and I do not want to burden my mind worrying about what someone else thinks of me. This is an unnecessary stress. If I am happy being me, what does it matter what another person thinks? In the end I can’t control their opinion of me, but I can control how it affects me. Take control of the things that are within your reach.

We have all wished at some point in our lives that we could control time, but we can’t. There are countless movies that build their foundation on the concept of time travel. We as an audience hope and wish that these movies will one day become our reality. Sorry to break it to you, but it will NOT happen, because if it will, it would have already happened … if that makes any sense … Well if it doesn't that’s ok it, time travel is a completely different can of worms (by worms I mean blog post). The plain and simple point is that you cannot change the past or control the future. The past has already happened and whatever you say or do will not change the effect of what has already came to pass. We cannot predict the future nor can we control it, however we can influence our future by working on our present. All you need to do is be the best person you can possibly be NOW, and hope that your actions result in the best possible outcome.

Stressing about things out of our control is a worthless use of energy. That energy can be better used on hard work, or being someone’s friend, encouraging someone, or spreading kindness. Use that energy to make the world a better place, don’t be distracted by something that is out of your control.

Its Not About the Destination, It's About the Journey...

In my previous post I talked about the satisfaction of achieving your goals. Something that is more important than achieving the goal itself, is the journey you take to get there. On your journey you will have to evaluate yourself; Am I working effectively? Is this helping me to progress to where I need to be? By doing this, you're paving the road to your success and believe me, this road is cluttered with all kinds of obstacles that teach you life lessons. That's why the journey, dare I say, is more important than the goal, the goal is just the reward to show for all your efforts.

One thing to keep in mind, is to stick to your goal if you plan to realistically succeed. Write your goal down so it becomes tangible and understand the reason you want to achieve such goal. If you’re straying away from the ultimate goal, go back and remind yourself why you need to achieve that goal. Actively work towards your goal everyday to get it done. Take for example something as simple as leading a healthier lifestyle, one can’t expect to do a 180° turn on their lifestyle, they have to gradually build their way up to it. Start small, 15 minutes of working out, switching out one or two junk foods and replacing them with a healthier option will get them closer to achieving the goal. You will come across procrastination and obstacles, but that is part of the journey. It's important to choose your goals wisely, remember the post on SMART goals? That's exactly what needs to be done. Set your goals wisely! Make sure they're Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. No goal is easy, however, if you don’t make your goal SMART it will only make the goal harder to attain.

Every mission you decide to take on, becomes an opportunity for you to grow as a person. When you start your quest you will inevitably gain experiences that will assist you in completing your goal. Sometimes things don't always go as planned and you have obstacles in your way that may make you lose faith in your goal. Use these obstacles to help develop your skill set, to prepare you for the work that lays ahead. The experiences that YOU go through are priceless, you are the only one who has EVER gone through your specific situation. Everything you have ever gone through in life has shaped the person you are today. All of your past life experiences come with you, they help you progress in life. When it comes down to it, all you will have are your moments, they are intimately yours, no one can take them away from you. Unlike materialistic things, they can break, get lost, get stolen or mess up, however, the experiences you gain throughout your life stay with you and play a huge role in your character’s development.

Hard work does not go unnoticed, if you put in a hard day’s work you will see results. The only way to fail at your goal is to sit there and do nothing! As long as you're moving and grooving, towards your goal that is, you'll be on your way. No goal is easy to attain, it takes dedication and determination to get there. When someone get’s a promotion at work, it’s because they have come a long way and have proven that they the experience under their belt. LEVEL UP!

Set SMART goals, write it down! Start working towards your goal everyday, dedicate some time and you’ll eventually get there. Take everything you come across as a learning experience. Life is a rollercoaster ride and you will get dings along the way that will affect your outcome. All experiences are specific to each person, no one can take away anyone’s experiences away. The level of hard work invested in achieving ANY goal will show in the results. Don’t give up, all the work you do will have been for nothing if you don’t see it through till the end. You will never know what lays ahead so it all begins and ends with you!

When You Point One Finger, There are Always Three Pointing Back!

Play the victim, go ahead, try it. When you point a finger at others, you are too busy concerning yourself with the flaws of others, when you have flaws of your own. You gain nothing from blaming others, you are just trying to shift the blame to someone else. Don’t blame your issues on others, there are so many things that we as individuals can improve on, we should not have time to worry about what is going on with someone else. That constant, “they did this to me,” or “I am like this because..” will not help anyone. No one became rich by crying about how poor they were. There comes a point where you have to stop pitying yourself, and expecting pity from others. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, but you can choose to be the victim and cry, or you can rise above your issues and make the best of the situation. There have been so many times when I have wanted to give up and be the victim because it felt like everyone and everything was working against me. Playing the victim is not beneficial to anyone, it would not have gotten me anywhere. You could sit in the corner and wait for your knight in shining armor to come and save you, or you can make your own armor and save yourself.

We all love a good “underdog” story, because the underdog makes their own armor. These stories give us hope and faith; that we too can make it, and that the world is not that bad. Those “underdog” stories would never happen if the underdog was focusing too much on what’s wrong in their life. You can either focus on all the things going wrong or you can look to what can be done better to overcome all the negatives in your life. Playing the victim only works for a little while. What are you going to do when everyone can see right through that? It may work the first few times, but eventually people will stop responding to your call, just like The Boy Who Cried Wolf. When that time comes you are going to have to get your isht together and pave your own way. No one else can deal with YOUR problems other than you. When you point one finger at someone, what are the other three saying to you? They are asking YOU, what YOU are going to do about it? You have enough energy to blame another, now what’s your plan to do better?

Be independent, do not let what has happened to you in the past define who you are and dictate your future. All you can do is focus on being the best version of yourself, and overcome the obstacles in your path. Wasting your time focusing on negative energy is pointless, it will not get you anywhere. You have to learn not to fixate on the negative and take responsibility for your own situation. So the next time you find yourself pointing the finger, look at the many things that you could do to transform that situation into a fruitful experience. Don’t blame others for something that you have the ability to fix.

WE WON!!!

We all have goals, and we all have the ability to conquer them. The trick is to have a plan and set realistic expectations to meet your goal. You also need to network with people who will support you in reaching your objective. Even if you feel like you’re not making progress, as long as you are working toward your target you’re benefiting from the process. When you finally accomplish your goal, there is a deep sigh of relief in knowing that all your hard work has paid off. However, goals are never ending, there will always be something greater you want to strive towards. You have to take them one goal at a time and one step at a time.

Prior to the 2014 November elections, we formed a coalition of community members to get involved with our local city election. We were afraid that our city government was going to be bought out by HUGE corporate interest which would tamper with the lives of our community members for the worse. Our work was crucial in educating our fellow voters about what was going on with the elections and getting them out to vote for the candidates we believed had the best interest of the community in mind. I can't even begin to explain how difficult I saw this race. There was so much money being poured into this election from large corporate interest, while we, the members of the community, only relied on a bit of funding and most importantly we had a community base unparalleled by these greed driven institutions. All of the grassroots efforts we put into making this election sway in our favor was unquestionably difficult, but not impossible. Day after day for months, we came together over tables of bottomless coffee mugs, energy bars, and pep talks. The days were endless and melted into each other, entire hours of restlessness allowed us a glimpse of insanity, we were holding on by a mere thread.

Everyone had a role to play in order to achieve our common goal. It wasn’t difficult to fall off track because we held each other accountable and expected everyone to put in a hundred and ten percent. However, when YOU are the only one fully responsible for YOUR goal, you have to hold YOURSELF accountable. The important thing is to keep your eyes on the prize, I know that this sounds a bit cliche but if you stray away from your ultimate goal, it will be much harder to reach.  For some, this means socializing less and dedicating majority of their time focusing on what they want to accomplish. I know during the time we were working toward our goal I couldn't think about anything else but the elections. Educating my neighbors on some of the issues we need to address as a community made my work so fulfilling. The lives of my fellow neighbors, family and friends along with my own are at stake and depends on the work we were doing. There were moments when I thought all hope was lost but knowing that I had other people who counted on me to play my role in the bigger picture gave me the motivation to keep going. I had support from close friends and family who believed in me and gave me the courage to keep fighting and keep giving my best no matter how much doubt kept crossing my mind. Don't be afraid to ask people for advice or to talk to a friend when you feel like your efforts are futile or when you feel like it's just too much. Perhaps all you need is a little bit of encouragement and words of wisdom to keep your flame burning until the end and don't give up.

In the end your efforts will not go unnoticed keep that in mind. There is no way to expect your reward if you don't put in the work. When you can almost taste your victory, push harder and know that you will be able to look back on the hard work that you did, and be satisfied with what you have achieved. You will always encounter setbacks but remember the words of George A. Custer, “It’s not about how many times you get knocked down that count, it’s how many times you get back up.” You will always learn from your mistakes and they will help you to figure out how you can do better. That is why it’s important to mentally prepare yourself for the ups and downs and always keep in mind that hard work will not go unnoticed. The universe will reward you well my friend, you just have to see beyond the horizon to realize what that reward will bring. Trust me nothing is impossible just keep your head in the game and know in the end the weight will melt off your shoulders knowing that you did everything you could.

After all the blood and sweat that we put into the election, we rejoiced in victory. All of the candidates we vouched for WON! Now that they are in office I can sleep easy, knowing that they have the community’s interest in mind. We can now work together with our governing reps to build a better community and work to accomplish new and exciting goals! This is just the beginning, you’re never really done because there will always be more goals you want to achieve. It’s important to reflect on the things you have already accomplished, but you should never “run out” of goals, and you should be constantly thinking about how you can grow and develop from where you are. Keep your body busy, because when you die that’s it... there is not much to do then, so do everything you want now!

What's Your Vibe?

We have all had those days where every little thing gets on our nerves and every little thing is just irritating. I am here to tell you that acting on those impulses is a total waste of energy. There are many types of energy, we have negative and positive energies just to name a few. If you are positive and happy that is what you will get back, and if you are negative and sad that is what you will get back. If you smile, the other person will smile back, and they will pass that smile on to another person creating a domino effect. If you are having a terrible day, turn it around, you have the power to change your mood. Our moods are contagious. What you give is what you get back. Try to make the world a better place. Be kind. What do you want in your life, positive or negative energies?

A few months ago, I was driving home from work. On my way I needed to make a right turn, and in order to make a safe right turn I had to inch forward into the crosswalk. As I was inching forward a jogger came out of no where and began to yell at me for blocking “his” crosswalk. I do not understand why the jogger felt like he needed to yell at me, how much energy (not to mention negative energy) did he waste by yelling at me versus quietly jogging around my car? The way I see it is no one got hurt and he got a few extra steps in. I could have let the jogger’s rotten mood affect the rest of my day, but I just laughed it off and moved on. Perhaps the jogger had a bad day and was jogging to blow off some steam, I just happen to be at the tail end of his frustration. What did the jogger accomplish by yelling at me? My car didn't move and he went around me. Did he think about how his actions were going to affect me? I hope he felt better!

Right after that little incident, someone decided to cut me off. I could have gotten mad and honked, yelled and even flipped the bird, but I chose not to. If I got mad what would this have accomplished? I cannot go back in time and stop this person from cutting me off and no one got hurt, so why waste my energy on negative vibes? The same can be said about a simple, harmless look.

We have all been looked at up and down, mean mugged, given dirty looks, whatever you want to call it. This happened to me only a few hours ago, and I couldn't help but wonder what the other person got out of this non-verbal exchange. What satisfaction did they gain from this exchange? Were they trying to assert their superiority or intimidate me? Whatever the case may be, it does not change the fact that they sent negative vibes my way. Why couldn't the other person smile or exchange a friendly hello? This little interaction was a reflection of them, and the type of person they are. I do not pay much attention to people when they do this, but the other person does not know who I am or what I am going through or what I am capable of. What If I was having a rough day, and this non-verbal exchange set me off into the “deep-end”? There is no telling what could have happened. As Plato once said, “Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

~So spread love, smile more.