Monday, March 31, 2014

Freedom to be Independent: Through a Story of Emotional Abuse


Since we are on the topic of freedom I want to address more specifically the freedom to be independent as a necessity for a healthy and stable life.The word freedom itself carries a certain weight, and that weight varies between person to person because the idea of freedom is different for everyone. To me, the freedom to be independant means that you can be whomever you want to be, without holding back and without being apologetic for the things you do. You should always have the ability to take matters into your own hands and do as you please because as a human being you have the right to be YOU, don’t let anyone take it away.The moment you don’t have control over your life, someone or something is ruling it, and that is a form of captivity.


In this blog I want to share something that not a lot of people know about me in particular. A long time ago I used to date a guy whom I thought was the only thing missing in my life, I was young and didn’t know better. I thought he would be the prince charming that came with every fairy tale; sweet, smart, kind and everything I dreamt of. Well, he was, for a while, but then after a few months he changed and became a completely different person or I should say, his true colors were showing. He would call my house asking for me, and if I was asleep he would demand that I be woken up only to tell me that I was wasting my time and sleeping my life away. I appreciated that he was concerned for my time management and life management, but I was not okay with the way in which he showed his concern by belittling everything I did. He became very possessive and jealous. Naturally, I started to feel restrained and intimidated by his attitude and episodes of rage and discontent. There were moments where I thought I wasn’t good enough because my way of life was not up to par with his standards, leading me to fully believe that I wasn’t good enough as a person.


I started to dissect our relationship for my own understanding because I was still unsure of how we grew apart so fast. Finally I gave up trying to make things work. I realized that I didn’t deserve to be treated the way he treated me, this realization came with pain and frustration. I fled from that chapter in my life as fast as I could, I knew that if I let him continue to treat me the way he did I would not be in control of my life. The onset of his controlling personality was very real. I was trapped and I felt that every effort I made to be ME was dragged through a war zone with no way out. I didn’t know how important MY freedom to be independent was, until I was no longer in control of my life. Needless to say, that guy is out of my life and I’m out of his reach. He no longer has power over me because I know I’m worth it and I don’t need him to give me an approval for the things I do.


When you sense that you are not free in your environment, figure out what is tampering with your freedom and stop feeding it or them the power to rule over you. This life you have is entirely yours to choose what you want for yourself. Be careful of your freedom to be independent and don’t let anyone mess with it.



Best Wishes.

No comments:

Post a Comment