If I Knew Then What I Know Now: A Letter to Hareena’s Past Self

Dear, Me (5 years younger)

There are SO many things I could tell you about your future and how things turn out, but everything happens as it should. When things do not go as planned it is critical to learn how to pick yourself back up and learn to go with the flow. No matter what I tell you, from the future, it will not change the events of your life that will lead you to where I am today. You will have smoother transitions in life if you realize the changes that need to be made sooner.

Family, they will always be there, but they are not the ones living your life. Your family will support you in whatever it is that you want to do and your actions will affect them. However, your happiness is most important. You have to live with yourself and if you are not happy about what you have decided, then it is YOU that has to face yourself in the mirror everyday. So, listen to everyone, take their advice, but in the end do what you want to do. Listen to what your heart and mind are saying to you, it will make the difference and you will be more at peace with yourself.

Do not be afraid of change. There will be a point where you will have to leave everything behind; your childhood, your friends, your neighborhood. You will have to learn how to adjust to the change and you will have to learn how to figure things out for yourself. Learn how to break away from the comfort of your normal everyday life, learn to welcome the change and look at it as a new beginning, a new opportunity to learn.  

Figure out what you want to do and DO IT! The sky's the limit and do not let ANYONE tell you, “you can’t.” If you waste your time listening to people who tell you this, you will begin to believe it. You will be stuck with nowhere to go and stray away from your purpose. Essentially, you will be wasting your valuable time. The feeling of being lost will overcome you causing you to lose purpose. The only way you will figure out what you want to do is to try new things! Do not stop yourself from trying new things, that next thing you try, just may be what you were meant to do. Do not settle for less than what you deserve.

A part of living is dying. People will come and go, but it's especially hard to lose someone that is close to you. It is even harder to lose someone that you NEVER got a chance to know. Never miss out on the opportunity to speak to anyone, no matter how close or distant the relationship is. You never know when your conversation will be the last one.

This next piece of advice that I am about to share with you may sound a bit odd, given our history, but try to care less. There will be people that come into your life that you will care too much about, and it will seem as though they do not even care whether or not you are even breathing regularly. Be kind to everyone, and do not show any one any negative feelings.There will be those few people that will be there for you when you need them and those are the people you need to care for. Put the effort in showing them that you care. A Mark Twain quote comes to mind, “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” So, if you care less about the people that do not blink an eye for you, you will have more time to focus on yourself and the people who deserve your attention, you will endure less suffering.

Sincerly,

Hareena (from the future)

Family Holidays

The holidays are just around the corner! Did you make sure to get the turkey? How many are we serving? Will there be enough? What about the presents?! The holidays are just another great way to stress about everything, HOORAY! .. No, let’s remember what the holidays are about, the importance of having your family and loved ones together to enjoy each others company and to catch up. We already spend so much time busy with work and dealing with our own lives that we forget who matters the most, our loved ones. Take the time to celebrate and focus on the good things, and be grateful for the people around you that you love and care about. Realize that the holidays are about appreciating what you have now.

This is the time of the year to let go of pointless grudges, all the pent up emotions will not make for healthy vibes to add to the holiday cheer. Use this opportunity to start smoothing out those rough edges and tying up loose ends. There’s nothing in the world that can’t be ‘fixed’ and it’s better to settle things for the sake of common peace and well being. Grudges are pointless, they lead you to open up a bottle of old negative emotions that can ruin a perfectly good family reunion. Not to mention, they take a toll on your personal peace and well being. Don’t let past issues mess up your’s and your loved ones chance to catch up. Grudges don’t solve a thing, instead focus on creating good memories with the people you love so you have something good to look back on. When you are dealing with hard times, these are the memories you want to come back to, not the grudges.

I think it’s sad when people let greed reign during the holidays. I have been taught that it’s better to give than to receive. I’m not saying it’s not okay to treat yourself or feel excited to receive a present from someone, but that’s not what the festivities are about. The holidays are about giving. Unfortunately, I know people who give to receive and they expect to get some ridiculously expensive gifts in return. If this is the only way for them to feel happy during these holidays then they’ve completely missed the point. When you receive a gift, it’s the thought that counts and not the money spent on the gift. Do not expect to receive gifts, when you do it’ll be a nice surprise. Let gratitude reign over greed!

Materialistic things are not as important as your loved ones so dont waste your time on objects, they won’t be able to give you love and support. Celebrate eachothers presence, it’s not about the gifts! During these holidays appreciate your loved ones and look forward to more joyful moments with them in future gatherings. The experiences you build with your loved ones are priceless. Appreciate each other to the fullest while you still can. Don’t let these family gatherings get SO spaced out allowing the tumbleweed to roll in between. Treasure everyone while you can because if you wait until next year to see them, who knows if the same ones will come back for the next holiday. Be grateful of the folks that are in your life, because there will be a time when they will no longer be there.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it’s gonna melt! In all seriousness, after reading this post, go give your folks a call and tell them just how much you love and appreciate them, this will make them feel so loved :) Don’t be a stranger now!

Happy Family Time!

$Money$

What does it mean to have lots of money? Happiness? Success? How do we view money? I fear that people have forgotten the value of other things in life, and have made everything about what is in their bank accounts. It is hard to live in this world without worrying about money, because money is so essential for our well being. Some young people only worry about how they are going to make more money, but they do not worry so much about how they are going to keep their family together, how they can become a better person, or how they can be happy.

We talked about appreciating the people around us in our post about family, you should value those who love you. If you are working too much and finding that you are not valuing the people around you, you have to stop and think if it is worth it. I have watched the families of those who work too much fall apart simply because they do not make time between their job and family. Is all of that money worth it if you do not have anyone to spend it with?

I feel that everyone’s financial goals should be to live comfortably, so that their families never have a “need.” Living in poverty can lead to unnecessary stress, and a whole number of things that I will not get into (that’s a whole ‘nother post), and having too much money can (but not always) lead to greed. The question is, will you ever have enough money? Then the question becomes, why should I stop making money? A few weeks back there was a person that was going around San Francisco, leaving envelopes of cash, and leaving clues on twitter. You don't believe me? Well check out this article from the Huffington Post. This one person started a nationwide trend, people have begun to do the same thing in different cities around the U.S. These “random acts of kindness,” as the media is calling it, has gotten a lot of attention because who does not like free money? (if you hate it comment below and tell me about your issues with free money) This one person in SF has so much money that they had no clue what to do with it, so they are just giving it away. Perhaps this person in SF got to a point where he/she realized that all of the money they had was not making them happy, so why not give it to people who could use it? (or some great media stunt … we will never know!)

I’m not trying to say that money is bad, I am saying that it is important to not let it control your life. There are many more important things in our lives like being a happy person. We also talked about doing whatever makes you happy in our graduation post, you can read about it here. If you are letting money control your life, then it will be difficult to be in the state of happiness; you are living for your money and you stop living for yourself. If you are not happy now what is the point? We are all going to die one day soon, and we cannot take any of our worldly possessions with us and that includes money (unless you are an Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh, and if you are comment below, I would love to hear about your rise from the dead!).

With all this swimming in my head, I have been facing the question of what job will be fulfilling to me in the long run. I will be satisfied when I know that I am helping people and making a difference in the world. I do not want to be tied down to a regular 9-5 job, where I am only there for the moollah. I want to live a comfortable life, but not at the expense of my happiness and the happiness of those around me. Take time out and think about what makes you happy, other than money, and make THAT your priority. In doing this you can ensure that money is not controlling you.

~Ta Ta

Family Appreciation

Family… what about family? They are important, let me tell you why. Family is everything, you may not agree with me but first let me make my definition clear. Family is just a term used to define a selection of people that you consider to be important in your life. I’m using the word ‘family’ as a loose term so that I may include the important people that aren't genetically linked to you. The people whom you grew up with, though you may not think so, have shaped you in some way and therefore are a part of you and your family.

For as long as I can remember I have always had my family by my side, and I can’t imagine living without them. We all need family, it’s part of a survival mechanism. Family will always be there for you in victory or defeat. The point is that your family is essential and you should take the time to tell each person that they are special. Although YOU may be aware that each member of the family is special in their own way, they may not. The simplest gesture of appreciation goes a long way.

There are countless stories of people who have lost someone before getting the chance to say: “I love you,” “you mean a great deal to me,” “ I appreciate you…” the list can go on. No one is  exempt from misfortune so regardless of the drama and heavy heartedness that tends to happen every once in a while, don’t forget that family comes first. Take it from me, I've lost a number of dear friends and family who I didn't appreciate vocally and I feel like those are loose ends that I cannot mend. Make things right with the ones you love, and you will be much happier for it. Don’t wait to love and appreciate your loved ones for a tomorrow that isn't promised.

Peace out, love you all.