When You Point One Finger, There are Always Three Pointing Back!

Play the victim, go ahead, try it. When you point a finger at others, you are too busy concerning yourself with the flaws of others, when you have flaws of your own. You gain nothing from blaming others, you are just trying to shift the blame to someone else. Don’t blame your issues on others, there are so many things that we as individuals can improve on, we should not have time to worry about what is going on with someone else. That constant, “they did this to me,” or “I am like this because..” will not help anyone. No one became rich by crying about how poor they were. There comes a point where you have to stop pitying yourself, and expecting pity from others. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, but you can choose to be the victim and cry, or you can rise above your issues and make the best of the situation. There have been so many times when I have wanted to give up and be the victim because it felt like everyone and everything was working against me. Playing the victim is not beneficial to anyone, it would not have gotten me anywhere. You could sit in the corner and wait for your knight in shining armor to come and save you, or you can make your own armor and save yourself.

We all love a good “underdog” story, because the underdog makes their own armor. These stories give us hope and faith; that we too can make it, and that the world is not that bad. Those “underdog” stories would never happen if the underdog was focusing too much on what’s wrong in their life. You can either focus on all the things going wrong or you can look to what can be done better to overcome all the negatives in your life. Playing the victim only works for a little while. What are you going to do when everyone can see right through that? It may work the first few times, but eventually people will stop responding to your call, just like The Boy Who Cried Wolf. When that time comes you are going to have to get your isht together and pave your own way. No one else can deal with YOUR problems other than you. When you point one finger at someone, what are the other three saying to you? They are asking YOU, what YOU are going to do about it? You have enough energy to blame another, now what’s your plan to do better?

Be independent, do not let what has happened to you in the past define who you are and dictate your future. All you can do is focus on being the best version of yourself, and overcome the obstacles in your path. Wasting your time focusing on negative energy is pointless, it will not get you anywhere. You have to learn not to fixate on the negative and take responsibility for your own situation. So the next time you find yourself pointing the finger, look at the many things that you could do to transform that situation into a fruitful experience. Don’t blame others for something that you have the ability to fix.

Religion: Friend or Foe?

A controversial topic, but it does not have to be. I feel that everyone has to believe in something, that may be Jesus, Buddha, the Guru, the Creator, Allah, or the many gods of Hinduism (and I know I am missing many others). Even those who are atheist and agnostic still believe in something. I have been putting off talking about religion because I do not want to offend anyone.

I love to hear about other’s religion, you can get a general idea about a person by learning about their spiritual beliefs. I think one of the main reason Americans do not like to talk about religion is because it is embedded in our schools; we are not allowed to talk about religion. As a result, at an early age we think that there is something wrong with talking about it. We think that it will only result in conflict. We are allowing the fear of “the Other,” settle into our minds as young people because we simply do not talk about our differences. We have to learn to be more than ok with “the Other,” after all America is made up of “the Other.” We can only learn by talking about our differences, ultimately we will see that we are not all that different.

A few weeks back I was walking my dog, and I was approached by a man who wanted to talk about Jesus. I have no problem with having a friendly conversation about religion, we all have the right to believe in what we want to. The gentleman that I was talking to did not know much else other than Christianity, so I began to ask him how Christianity differs from other religions. It quickly became apparent to me that his view of religion was narrow, because he was stuttering and I could tell he was getting a bit nervous. I’m sure he regretted stopping me. There was one question that put him over the top, and that was “How is Jesus any different than Buddha?” His answer was “WELL Jesus is the SON of god.” and up until that point he was talking about respecting other’s beliefs, so naturally, I said, “Well what if I believe that Buddha is also the son of God?” This was also odd to me because I was raised with the belief that we are ALL the children of God. He did not have an answer for me, so the gentleman with him, stepped in and handed me a copy of the bible and said that I would find the answers to all of my questions in there.

The next time I run into this gentleman I would like to say to him to broaden his perspective. I was raised in a household where we respect everyone's faith, and it was encouraged to go learn about others. Whether or not you agree with religion, or a particular religion, it is a good thing to know what people believe in.

Being ignorant about different; religions, cultures, and race leaves people confused and angry. Living in a post 9/11 America some people have shown what our system has really done. Being of the Sikh religion this is a topic that is close to me, there are many stories that have impacted how I view ignorance toward religion. If you are unaware about what took place among the American Sikh community, please check out this music video my brothers have put together, “We Are All Sikhs.” This video shows that we are all the same.

There are extremists in every religion, the media picks up on those stories, this is what negatively affects our world view. I am sure there are people in the world who are making the effort to make this world a better place, but we don’t hear about that. Immediately after 9/11 I remember hearing my peers talking about how muslims were all bad, everything we saw on TV was the Taliban and that was the only view my peers had. A group of friends and I were talking about the towers and how bad the situation was when someone in the group I had known for 4 years said to me,”Hareena, Why you sad? It was your people who were responsible.” At the time I was more shocked than anything else, I was shocked at this person’s ignorance. How could my friend of 4 years say this to me? I am an American and I was put into “the Other” box in such a public way, at the moment in time I could have done or said any number of things but I simply said, “I am not a Muslim, and even if I was, what motive would I have to blow up some buildings? Not all Muslims are bad.”

Just last week I was sitting down with a co-worker (someone I only just met a few days before), and we were having a conversation about religion, how normal is this? It’s not! We were both ok talking about the subject, and we both had a broad view when it came to religion, Eastern and Western alike. We both have a passion to learn more. We never stop learning, but we cannot do that if we continue to judge others, not only judging others based on faith, but judging others period. Why can’t we have more of these moments? We need to create these moments with others, especially children so they can learn that there is nothing wrong with talking about religion.

With that being said I am going to leave you a quote by Thomas Jefferson, “I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.”

~Ta