Beauty For Sale: Pageants

How many of us look in the mirror each morning and are happy with every inch of who we are? I can honestly say that I do not, and I know why; the media is always telling us that we are not skinny or pretty enough or our skin is not the right tone … but let me tell you this -> no one is perfect, yet knowing this we still let the media cloud our judgement. At the end of EVERY summer we Americans turn on the TV to watch the Miss America Beauty Pageant (it came on this past weekend). I personally do not watch it, but I know that there are people out there that plan out their day to make sure they can, but what for? What purpose does this beauty pageant serve? I know that this particular pageant is to help the girls further their education by offering them a scholarship and they must also do community service. I am sure that the pageant opens up many doors of opportunity for the contestants as well, but how do they even pick Miss America? It should not be about how you look! If anyone wants to further their education they should be offered the opportunity! Beauty is only skin deep, you will only get to know someone if you dig beneath the surface. You do not know someone’s story unless you take the time to ask AND take the time to listen.

That is NOT what an average woman looks like! Those women in the pageants are a misrepresentation of who the American woman is. Granted that there are variations among women, we all come in different shapes and sizes but that is not reflected in the pageant’s contestants. There comes a point when all the contestants LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME, they all have that SAME “cookie cutter” body. What message do these images send to our children? I'll tell you: to some degree the young girls watching this will start to internalize those images and start to believe that they too need to look like that. We should be telling our kids to celebrate who they are and to love their uniqueness. Beauty is what WE make it!

So how in the world do they actually pick the pageant winner?!?! Well I decided to take a look at how they score the girls. The composite score is 30%. Next we have a whole 20% in the “Lifestyle and fitness in swimsuit” and a 20% in “evening wear,” sorry to break it to you but … how you look in a swimsuit does not tell me much about your lifestyle or fitness, and ANYONE looks good in an evening gown, so what does this prove? Then there is a whole 30% for the “Talent” portion, now looking at the talents that the girls decide to display are mostly singing or some form of dancing, but occasionally you will get the out of the norm talent. However I fail to see how this shows that the contestant deserves the scholarship or is capable of serving the community.

I want to make it clear that I am not hating on the girls that are competing in these types of competitions. I am well aware that there is more to a person than meets the eye, if you have not read my past post about Eye Candy check it out. Which brings me to my next point, the girls are asked one question on stage… only ONE question. Most of the time these questions are generic, and do not allow the contestant to display the full extent of their intelligence. This scholarship is for the women to further their education. How are we supposed to learn about the contestant if the question does not challenge them? Not to mention that the onstage question is not even a part of the final score, so what is the point?!?! Please tell me because I don’t have a clue!

The only reason these types of competitions exists is because they need money to do whatever it is they do, so they put on a big show. Why is it that we have to put on a “show” to raise the funds for a scholarship, and community service? Everyone has the obligation to go out and do something for their town. Companies should be willing to donate money to help out their community, unfortunately this is not the case and sex sells! The companies that give the money up want something in return, so they get a show. Furthermore, is beauty something that can be measured and defined? Who decides? You decide, every morning when YOU wake up you have the choice to love what you see or hate it.

I have learned to love myself no matter what. I may not be happy with every inch of myself when I wake up, but I make it a point to love myself before I go to bed. Beauty is not about what you can change about yourself, however, it is about how you embrace the person you are in the inside as well as the outside.

~Be beautiful.

Gender Neutral

Gender roles today are slowly changing, but not fast enough. For the longest time, women and men have been assigned different roles that set the precedent for society’s expectations of them. And these separations create an unequal, biased spectrum of what is socially acceptable of either sex. our social construction of assigned gender roles can be traced back to the moment we are born and it shapes our mentalities for the rest of our days. The only way to change the mold society has put us in, is to break it and make a new one.

It starts at a young age. Parents’ roles in the home are an important piece in how their children interpret what is socially expected of them based on their gender. For example, in a nuclear family if the father takes on the role as the “bread winner” and the mother takes on the role as the “homemaker,” a son will believe that it is his responsibility to provide for his family when he grows up. The same goes for a daughter in the exact same setting, she will believe that she has to take on her mother’s responsibilities in the future. Now, I know that this is not true for EVERY situation, but parents influence the roles of each sex, and it all starts in the home.

We establish gender roles even before birth, from first determining the sex of the baby, to then planning a baby shower, then preparing the child’s room … the funny thing is ... we have not even met the pre-born yet, so how do we know what they would want in their room? These standards are also reinforced once the child begins to go to school. Instead of shaping their lives for them and coloring their lenses in pink or blue, we should be conscious about how we manipulate the child’s environment. We need to find ways to NOT influence our children's decisions based on gender specific expectations that WE’VE been raised with. By doing so, we can begin to start breaking the mold.

However the the media will always perpetuate these assigned roles by having commercials that show little girls playing with barbies and little boys playing with remote controlled cars. It is our job to not let those images shape what our children think is socially correct when it comes to the toys they play with. I remember when I was very young, during my birthday or Christmas, people who didn’t know me very well would get me gender specific toys that were meant for girls. The toys I got were barbie dolls, makeup kits, a play set that simulated a kitchen, it EVEN came with miniature plastic pots, pans, cooking utensils all the homemaker galore!!!.... yay… Those toys were atrocious, they represent conformity and I was  born a REBEL >:) … hence this blog post. The people who bought  those toys for me were influenced by the images in the media and they assumed that I would like these toys simply because I happen to be a girl. They didn’t even know my personality. DO NOT make the assumption that just because I’m a woman I will be cooking a man’s dinner, cleaning HIS home, raising the children that have HIS last name … well now that my spontaneous rant is over … My point is, we need to move past these pre-assigned gender roles and set a new model that will allow everyone to be themselves without the pressures that society imposes on what we SHOULD play with.

So the main idea I want you all to take from this post is to analyze how you influence specific roles in society. What are you doing that conforms to the rest? What fairytales are you telling your princess? What legends are you telling your knight before bed? Like I mentioned in my previous post, children will absorb whatever you expose their minds to. Use this as an opportunity to break the mold we have been baked into by an EZ Bake Oven. “Children must be taught HOW to think, not WHAT to think”- Margaret Mead

Beauty is a State of Mind

In my previous post I talked about how people should not judge those who wear makeup. Makeup can be used to accentuate the features and is also used as a platform to express one’s self. While I still stand by those who are avid makeup users I want to take another perspective on that position and reach out to those who wear makeup to hide behind it. One of the reasons people wear makeup is because they want to cover up those “imperfections”. While you may think your imperfections need to be covered up to be beautiful the truth is there is nothing imperfect about you. You are unique and beautiful the way you are and you don’t NEED to hide behind makeup to FEEL beautiful.

It is important to understand why we may think the “flaws” we have are even considered flaws to begin with. Think about all of the billboards, and ads in the mall, at the train stations, on buses, in newspapers, and on television that exhibit a ridiculous, unrealistic depiction of what is widely considered “beautiful.” The illusion of beauty as the media portrays it is EVERYWHERE and it’s constantly changing. Don’t get brainwashed into thinking that you’re anything less than beautiful. If you do not look like those models in the ads it is ok, we are all unique and that needs to be celebrated. Remember that the sole purpose of those ads is to sell you the idea of what they say is beautiful, but most importantly- they want to sell you their products. It’s fine if you wear makeup, I’ve got nothing against you wearing it, but please don’t hide that beautiful face behind some absurd illusion of beauty.

If you can’t leave your home without wearing the slightest amount of makeup, you’ve got an issue on your hands. The makeup you put on is going to get washed off at the end of the day (unless you sleep with your makeup on which is NOT good for you, or your pillows!) The REAL you is exposed the moment you wash all of the artificial beauty off and what is gonna happen when you run out of that shit? What do you do? Buy more and more and more and more and more … I think you got the point. So much money is spent on these products for you to feel beautiful, why not save your money and just be beautiful the way you were born. Beauty is a state of mind, if you are constantly holding your beauty to the images you see in ads, you will always be chasing an unstable ideal. Come to terms with your natural skin and your so called “imperfections,” they’re what make you different from the rest and there’s no shame in being who you are. “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you!”- Dr. Seuss.

Love always,

Edith

MAKEUP… Good? Bad?

I’m sick and tired of people making judgments about others who wear makeup ... like its a bad thing. “That’s too much makeup!” they’ll say, “that’s not enough makeup!” “She/he looks like a confused monkey!” Personally I don’t wear a lot of makeup but, I want to stand in support of those of you who do wear it. Everyone has their reasons for wearing makeup and that could be anywhere between wanting to enhance the features of their face to hiding blemishes that may result in insecurities. Some just want to have fun, and wearing makeup is a way to express themselves, it’s an art form. No one can constitute just how much is too much or too little, because everyone's opinion is different. First of all, you have no clue why they are wearing it to begin with, they could have deeply rooted self esteem issues. Secondly, why do you care? Are they hurting you by wearing makeup? Lastly, how much of your opinions are based from what you see in the media?  If somebody feels good in the amount of makeup they choose to wear, that’s nobody’s business but their own. Unless someone is asking for YOUR opinion, keep your judgments at bay.

I understand that in different cultures, wearing makeup comes with a number of different stigmas. For instance, if the older folks in my culture were to see me wearing makeup, they would instantly label me as being promiscuous. Depending on what I’m wearing they would even go as far as to say “Take that shit off your face and put some clothes on, you look like a prostitute, is that what you want people to think you are!?" My clothes and my makeup shouldn't make viable statements about my persona no matter if first impressions are inevitable. Ultimately, lets not forget that my actions speak for me, not my makeup nor the type of my clothes I’m wearing. It is not right to judge what you don’t know. What we make of others is a reflection of what we see in ourselves because we base our judgements on personal experience. We as a people need to step back and see how WE would feel in the other person’s shoes. Be empathetic. There is a reason for everything, take the time to find out what that reason is.

Whether or not we agree, the media shapes our thoughts, and feeds our judgments. Everyday some pretty girl in an advertisement is trying to tell me what is beautiful, and thus my impressions of others are judged by these standards. I then begin to expect to see others living by those same ideals portrayed by the media. So, how much of your ideas are really YOUR’S? What is the media feeding you? THINK about it! I challenge you. The media only works as a vessel to make profit, they don’t care about you  … they want to TELL you WHAT to believe so you will shower them with money. This is where we fudge up, we shouldn't buy into these unrealistic expectations of beauty because everyone is unique in their own beautiful way. Use that that thing in your skull to see beneath the surface.

The next time you think someone is wearing too much make up or too little, STOP and think why they may be wearing it. Is it because that is what society expects? Or, is it because they are insecure about themselves? Or is it simply to express themselves? Is it hurting you? … No?...Then why do you care? Whatever it is, keep your comments to yourself. If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything.

Peace and Love,

Edith

Religion: Friend or Foe?

A controversial topic, but it does not have to be. I feel that everyone has to believe in something, that may be Jesus, Buddha, the Guru, the Creator, Allah, or the many gods of Hinduism (and I know I am missing many others). Even those who are atheist and agnostic still believe in something. I have been putting off talking about religion because I do not want to offend anyone.

I love to hear about other’s religion, you can get a general idea about a person by learning about their spiritual beliefs. I think one of the main reason Americans do not like to talk about religion is because it is embedded in our schools; we are not allowed to talk about religion. As a result, at an early age we think that there is something wrong with talking about it. We think that it will only result in conflict. We are allowing the fear of “the Other,” settle into our minds as young people because we simply do not talk about our differences. We have to learn to be more than ok with “the Other,” after all America is made up of “the Other.” We can only learn by talking about our differences, ultimately we will see that we are not all that different.

A few weeks back I was walking my dog, and I was approached by a man who wanted to talk about Jesus. I have no problem with having a friendly conversation about religion, we all have the right to believe in what we want to. The gentleman that I was talking to did not know much else other than Christianity, so I began to ask him how Christianity differs from other religions. It quickly became apparent to me that his view of religion was narrow, because he was stuttering and I could tell he was getting a bit nervous. I’m sure he regretted stopping me. There was one question that put him over the top, and that was “How is Jesus any different than Buddha?” His answer was “WELL Jesus is the SON of god.” and up until that point he was talking about respecting other’s beliefs, so naturally, I said, “Well what if I believe that Buddha is also the son of God?” This was also odd to me because I was raised with the belief that we are ALL the children of God. He did not have an answer for me, so the gentleman with him, stepped in and handed me a copy of the bible and said that I would find the answers to all of my questions in there.

The next time I run into this gentleman I would like to say to him to broaden his perspective. I was raised in a household where we respect everyone's faith, and it was encouraged to go learn about others. Whether or not you agree with religion, or a particular religion, it is a good thing to know what people believe in.

Being ignorant about different; religions, cultures, and race leaves people confused and angry. Living in a post 9/11 America some people have shown what our system has really done. Being of the Sikh religion this is a topic that is close to me, there are many stories that have impacted how I view ignorance toward religion. If you are unaware about what took place among the American Sikh community, please check out this music video my brothers have put together, “We Are All Sikhs.” This video shows that we are all the same.

There are extremists in every religion, the media picks up on those stories, this is what negatively affects our world view. I am sure there are people in the world who are making the effort to make this world a better place, but we don’t hear about that. Immediately after 9/11 I remember hearing my peers talking about how muslims were all bad, everything we saw on TV was the Taliban and that was the only view my peers had. A group of friends and I were talking about the towers and how bad the situation was when someone in the group I had known for 4 years said to me,”Hareena, Why you sad? It was your people who were responsible.” At the time I was more shocked than anything else, I was shocked at this person’s ignorance. How could my friend of 4 years say this to me? I am an American and I was put into “the Other” box in such a public way, at the moment in time I could have done or said any number of things but I simply said, “I am not a Muslim, and even if I was, what motive would I have to blow up some buildings? Not all Muslims are bad.”

Just last week I was sitting down with a co-worker (someone I only just met a few days before), and we were having a conversation about religion, how normal is this? It’s not! We were both ok talking about the subject, and we both had a broad view when it came to religion, Eastern and Western alike. We both have a passion to learn more. We never stop learning, but we cannot do that if we continue to judge others, not only judging others based on faith, but judging others period. Why can’t we have more of these moments? We need to create these moments with others, especially children so they can learn that there is nothing wrong with talking about religion.

With that being said I am going to leave you a quote by Thomas Jefferson, “I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.”

~Ta