If I Knew Then What I Know Now: A Letter to Edith's Past Self

Dear,

You... Me... Us …

I know you think you don’t have your life together. News flash kiddo, at 25 you will still be trying to piece it together! Ten years into your future you will have learned a lot, but I want to use the opportunity to share some important life lessons that if applied sooner will come in handy.

Not knowing everything is not a bad thing. Life is about making mistakes and figuring out how to cope. Whenever you have doubt, you should ask questions even if you think you sound  stupid. Chances are that a lot of people around you feel the same way and have the same questions. When you choose to keep quiet, you deprive yourself from learning something new and sharing the knowledge with those around you.

You are young and smart, you shouldn’t be wasting your time on pointless things. You have so much to look forward to... you have no idea. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you can’t make decisions for yourself. That guy that made you feel like you were HIS property, is still an asshole. But who cares about his A$$!? I know you were afraid to lose him, but guess what? There are plenty of people in your life to love and who will love you back. These people will support you and help you become more independent. When you realize that your life is in YOUR hands, you can make decisions for yourself to create your own path. Don’t waste time with bittersweet people, you won’t get that time back. You have much learning to do and no time fo’ mahfuck@s. It is worth your while to spend time thinking about more important things such as school and your artistic and spiritual development; focus on these aspects of your life and you will continue to add more meaning to it.

You don’t realize it now but when you place your self-worth in the hands of someone who doesn’t appreciate and love you for who you are, it really wounds your self esteem. Don’t worry about what others will think, you don’t owe them anything. Just remember that you have to love yourself for who you are and don’t be ashamed of what you need and what makes you happy. It’s not up to anyone to determine what happiness is for you. Happiness is relative to each person. If you take care of yourself and work to keep YOU happy, you’ll be much more grateful and at peace with yourself. Don’t create an inner war with yourself to the point of no return, learn to cope with your surroundings. Afterall life is a game of push and pull. There will always be things to learn and unlearn. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Dream BIG. Dreams don’t cost you anything. You don’t have a lot of people who expect much of you other than your teachers and your parents. YOUR life is about YOU. You have the opportunity to dream big and work hard towards making those dreams come true. It’s ok if right now you don’t have the funds to travel, you don’t need it. Get lost in a new culture, visit a temple you’ve never been to before, eat food from another origin, follow the sunset until the edge of the world. Write down a list of places you want to go to and things you want to accomplish. It is especially important to write things down so that you can visualize what you want to do and you can work towards that goal. Once you’ve seen those goals through, crossing them off your bucket-list will feel satisfying! You will have the feeling of accomplishment and will want to work towards more goals and challenge yourself along the way!

Yo, get your isht together. You have a whole life ahead of you, don’t let the moment pass you by and live!

Much love and best wishes,

Edith P.

L o V 3

What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, no mo’! Hahaha

There are four different types of love. First we have Storge, which is affection for someone within your family, such as a brother. The next type is Philia, which is the type of love you express for a friend, someone you see as your equal. Eros, the more common one, romantic love. Lastly we have Agape, which is unconditional love, the love that a parent feels for their child. With all of that in mind, how often do you say, “I love you,” to the ones you love? Those three little words can make a difference in someone’s life. However, it is not always about what is SAID to one another but how that expression is SHOWN. The truth is we “say” it all the time without even saying it. Actions speak louder than words and we say “I love you” through our actions. When we show people that we care for them it goes a long way, because as Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

How do you know when someone loves you?

Whenever you leave the house and your mom says to you, “drive safe!” Well of course, no one intends to get hurt or to hurt others while on the road. We try to be as safe as we possibly can, we do not NEED another person to tell us to be safe but the road is an unpredictable place and no one can perceive what will happen. Mom knows that whatever happens on the road is out of everyone's hands but that is her way of saying those three little words, I love you. When people in your life ask you if you have eaten or even ask the details of your day, this shows an interest in your life and that they hope you do not have stress. When a friend knows that you are having a crummy day, they will show you that they care and want to see you happy by listening, offering their advice and encouragement to resolve the situation at hand. Only someone who truly loves you will show an interest in your life and care for your well being.

When you were younger and you were sitting in the front seat of your parent’s car chances are you were not paying any attention to the road when all of a sudden your parent slams on his/her breaks. They impulsively throw their hand in front of you to keep you from hurting yourself. Their hand does not actually DO anything, if you are going to fly out the windshield, you WILL fly out whether the arm is there or not. The arm isn’t going to save you, but the fact that they put their arm there in the first place is a gesture that they care about you and your well being. Again, you flying out of the window is out of your parent’s control, but they do what they can to protect you. Putting the arm in front of you is the act of love.  

How do you express your love for someone?

It’s inevitable to feel love for the people in your life whether you call it love or not. The truth is that those feelings are indeed there and they are indicators of how much other people mean to you. Your appreciation and love for someone is expressed through the interactions you have with that person and how you celebrate them. There are many ways to express your love for someone and it doesn’t necessarily have to be by buying them cheesy-ass cards, chocolates, dinner and teddybears one day out of the entire year. What about the other 364 days? You can show your love and appreciation any day of the year by simply being physically and mentally present. If you really wanna buy someone something, then do it! Why do you NEED a “Hallmark Holiday” to buy a  gift for a  loved one?

To read more about our thoughts on Valentine’s day check out our post from last year here.

~L<3VE

I Miss You Grandpa

Have you ever taken the time to listen to the elderly about their lives? Could you imagine all of the things that they have seen in their time living on this planet? It's sad to see that younger generations aren't more respectful to the elders. Just the other day, as I was making my way out of church and I was ready to hit the road to grab a bite to eat. I found that people ahead of me were walking slowly. I didn't mind it but I did notice the significant change of pace. I was curious to see what the hold up was when I noticed other people were jumping over the railings to bail out of the slow moving cluster of people. I looked ahead as far as I could, there was an older man whose body was tired and rigid, yet still strong enough to support who I assumed to be his wife. She was short, slow and used a walker for she was incapable of walking without assistance. I took compassion of the old couple and found myself growing less anxious to move past them. Instead I conformed to their pace, in part because it would have been completely rude to pass them up since the walkway was quite narrow and would require me to squeeze past them. In the meantime I began to think to myself, "I wonder how old they were, how long they have been together, and if they knew they were holding up the line, or if they even cared." I don’t get to interact with older folks very often, so this was interesting to experience. The fact that I made the choice to slow down to their pace rather than hurry past them was a perspective changer. While most people thought that waiting was a waste of time, the slowing down gave me the opportunity to appreciate my surroundings. I have been attending this church for 6 years and I have never even noticed the beautiful rose bush at the entrance of the building. If it weren’t for the elderly couple slowing down the crowd, I might not have noticed the gorgeous shrubbery.

Young people don't realize that patience is a virtue. Everything has become so fast paced and advanced, that we have grown accustomed to getting everything in a matter of minutes or seconds which has made our patience grow thin. Take the people at the church who decided to jump the railing, they did not take the time to appreciate the moment and did not think about how the elderly couple felt. Their act of impatience was purely rude, and they can never take back what they did. Respect your elders, they came before you and deserve to be celebrated and honored.Teaching our youth to respect the elderly will set the expectations for future generations. A lot of youngsters these days can be so rude and their disregard for their elders is utterly disgusting. Everyone deserves the same respect regardless of age, race, sex, and gender. We are all human and have been fortunate enough to walk the earth, we should honor that and keep that in mind always. We are only here momentarily, sooner or later we will all depart this cruel world. Growing old is a privilege, not many people get to grow old. Studies have shown that old people are growing rapidly extinct, let’s enjoy them while we can.

My grandfather passed away about a year and a half ago. He was a great musician and played in a band with his sons and his grandchildren. In his younger days he was a busy man. He played in different places around Mexico and taught music to a number of people, some of whom became famous and are still very successful today. My grandfather built a legacy for our family, and it has carried down through the generations. I wish I could have spent more time with him to get to learn more about his life and his travels around Mexico and the US as a musician. As someone who wishes they could have had more opportunities to learn more about their grandfather, I encourage you to be patient with your elders and elders in general. Fortunately I still have my grandmother, however, I don't have the privilege to be with her every day. If I'm lucky, I get to see her at least every OTHER year. My grandma-ma is the only living link I have to my ancestors and I will cherish every moment with her and not take it for granted. Take the time to get to know the elders in your life, they will not always be here. Learn all that you can from your antecedents and cultivate the relationship as much as possible so that when they are gone, you won’t be stuck with the feeling of utter regret and sorrow. When they are gone, they are GONE. There is no turning back the clock because time waits for no one.

Remember this, treat others how you want to be treated. Even though older people are slow to walk, hard of hearing, and some smell funny, they are still people who live, breathe and matter. Anyone who has an impact in our lives will take a piece of us with them when they are gone. When it comes to our grandparents that bond is stronger, because without THEM, WE would not be here. In order to move forward in life it is important to know where you come from. So take the time to learn what you can from them … treasure it, not everyone has that opportunity.

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH

Hate, What’s the Point?

Much like Hareena's ideals about jealousy as a wasted emotion I also think hate is a useless emotion. Since when does hate ever solve your problems? How many times can you count where hate has done anything good for you or others. Hate is like poison, it rots you inside and eventually will spew out and poison those on the receiving end.

When hate is inflicted upon others it creates negative feelings onto those around you. Hate isn't the answer, trying to end a dispute by means of more hate is like fueling the fire with more fire. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do ;) Like Maya Angelou said, “Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.” It is wasted energy, and putting it back into the universe is something that is not beneficial.

Our actions have consequences, and we need to realize that what we say and do, will affect others. Everyone will react differently; some may not say anything, whereas others may echo the hate or cry. How does making someone cry make you feel? How do you feel when others make you cry? What if they were someone you care about? I doubt you’d like it. Unfortunately it happens because hate cannot exist without love but it’s better to spread love because this is good, this is positive.   

Spread love not hate. Love will lead to compassion and therefore understanding, where as hate will wither you. Think about what you are doing to yourself mentally and emotionally by hating others, use that energy for something positive and something good. A person can only take so much hate before they break, because let’s face it words do hurt and no one has ever hurt from too much love.

Let the hate be water rolling off of a duck’s back. Karma will do the work and balance the kuniverse. All those who spread hate will inevitably drink their own poison, Hareena’s post on Karma goes further into that. So, if you love more, greater things will happen. Do it right now, send a loving message to someone you  care about and see what a positive difference that will make for you and the other person.

Much Love

-Edith :)

Our Paths Crossing Was No Mistake

The other night I dreamt I was having a good time catching up with a friend of mine from elementary school when suddenly I woke up. I haven’t spoken to her in years, but this dream sent me down memory lane. I began to remember moments during my childhood. I realized that it reminded me how long it’s been since I’ve seen or contacted her. It also helped me see how the relationship we had has transformed over time and how we changed as individuals. We become so busy, sometimes we don’t stop to realize how we are changing. Change takes a while and happens slowly that the currents in our lives have a way of washing away that notion of change.

Given that everyone comes from different walks of life, everyone’s experience is different and therefore their changes are unique to their experiences. We each take our own paths and those paths cross someone else’s, like Flavia Weedn says “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same.” Let’s face it, Flavia has a point, people make changes in the lives of others, hopefully they are good ones, check out Hareena's post on  how we can make a difference in peoples lives.

Needless to say these changes don’t stand in the way of continuing a relationship with the people of your past. However, in some cases, the changes in either party or both are so drastic, even the attempt at a rendezvous is in vain. They say time heals all wounds, but time can also create a void that if it goes unfilled will drift both people away to the point of no return.

I have to remember that I am surrounded by people that love me and care about me NOW, and not make too much of the past. Memories only serve to remind us how we got here and can help us learn life lessons, but let’s not reminisce for too long for there is more to uncover on your path. Move it along beautiful people make your life happen.

Love always,

-Edith

Trust

Have you ever told anyone something in confidence, and the next thing you know everyone and they momma knows? Well my trust was broken recently, and after I found out I was angry. How could this person do this to me? But I soon realized that this is what happens when you trust someone, it’s risky. You cannot control what other people say or do, you just have to have faith that the person you trusted has enough respect for you to not tell others about your business.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, trust is defined as the belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, etc.. The key word that I would like to zone in on is “belief.” Just because we made the judgement that someone can be trusted does not mean that it is true. As a result, the only person that you can trust is yourself because you are the only one in control of your actions. I feel that I should be mad at is myself. I believed that this person was trustworthy. I made the wrong judgment and I was the one to get hurt in the end.

Looking back at this experience I have a better grasp on what trust is. I know that I cannot control what other people say or do, and I cannot go back in time and stop myself from telling this person, because at the time this is exactly what I wanted to do. As for that person, I now know I cannot tell them anything anymore, they did not have enough respect for me to keep this conversation between the two of us. They will never know I found out that they betrayed me, they will never know because this person is simply not worth my breath.

With that being said learning to trust someone is important in any relationship if it is meant to last, but it takes a long time to get to the point where people can trust one another. When you say that you trust someone it says many things about the other person’s character. Just knowing that you can trust someone says that you are familiar with their values and you know that this person would never do anything that would hurt you. As the writer George MacDonald said, “to be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”

~Love is hard to come by, but trust is harder

Valentine’s Day ... Let Me Count the Ways I Hate Thee

St.Valentine's Day … today this is a celebration of the love between two people. I hate this holiday!

I don’t hate it because I am in fact single … but because everyday should have the potential to be “Valentine’s Day” when you appreciate your significant other and make them feel special.  

There are 365 days in a year and this is the only day on the calendar that formally recognizes the love between two people. You should not need a holiday to remind you that you need to appreciate your significant other, they should be special every single day. This person is not there because they have to be, they choose to be, they choose to tolerate all of your flaws and support your endeavors because they love you.  

The fact of the matter is that we are all going to die one day; life is too short. If you appreciate someone then you should tell them. Valentine’s Day should celebrate all Love, not just the love of a significant other, but the love of a child, parent, or a really good friend. When it comes to this holiday we tend not to recognize the other types of love that exist. We go through our lives not showing other’s that we appreciate what they have done for us. We do not know what tomorrow holds, when will you have another opportunity to express your gratitude? The smallest bit of appreciation can go a long way.

I was watching a TED Talk a while back by Drew Dudley, on leadership. Dudley talks about how we as people are leaders without even knowing it, and we need to let the people around us know that they have made a positive impact on our lives. Dudley calls this point in time the “Lollipop moment,” this is the exact moment in time when the other person made the impact. We should apply this same idea to the ones we love.

After watching Dudley’s talk, I stepped out of my comfort zone and made more of an effort to let people know that I am grateful for that “lollipop moment” they have given me. As a result I have found it has made my relationships with those people stronger.Thinking back on my life, I do not know how often I have actually thanked people for the “lollipop moments”. If we treat every relationship in our lives with such appreciation just imagine how much value it would add to our lives. Give it a try!

You don’t need Valentine’s Day to show your appreciation.

Thanks for reading!

peace&love.