Eye Candy

How many of you clicked on this because of the picture above? SEX SELLS! Am I right or am I right?

Social experiment: Go out of the house looking like a bum; baggy clothes, no makeup, messy hair, etc. and see how people treat you. Then go out dressed up, look “fly” for lack of a better term; nice clothes, makeup, hair looking good, etc., then take note on how people treat you. Once you have done this, comment below, let me know how it goes :P.

I have done this, and when I discovered the difference I was shocked. I mostly noticed the difference when I went to the bank. The personal bankers help people that are standing in line if all of the tellers are busy. The day I was dressed like a “bum,” I was completely ignored and I had to wait in line, while the person that got there after me was helped first. The next time I went to that bank I looked “Fly,” the gentleman came up to me as I walked in, I didn't have to do anything, he took care of everything for me, he even filled out the slip. You can EVEN notice the difference walking down a busy street, more people will smile and say hello when you look nice. What does this say about our society? Are we, as a society, shallow and only care about what people look like or what they can offer us? I think YES!

Society as a whole is egotistical, shallow, and self centered. YUP I said it! …  now that I’ve got your attention. The point I am making, is this: the way we are treated is based on our appearance. Think about the classic scenario of buying a drink for a pretty stranger in a bar. What makes this person special enough for you to buy them a drink? Would you buy a drink for someone who was unattractive, but still looks like they really could use it (ruling out alcoholics)? This type of social exchange is purely based on the other person’s looks. If the other person takes the drink, it is because they find the buyer attractive and who in their right mind would turn down a free drink?!?!  

How we should look is embedded in our society, songs we listen to, the things we watch dictate how we perceive ourselves, and it is much worse for women (Guys disagree? comment!).This makes us think that we are never good enough, our hair is never straight or curly enough, we CANNOT leave the house without makeup on, and we must shave our legs, we have to be skinny etc. the list goes on forever! If we do not do these things we do not fit in and are labeled as something we are not. Take shaving for example, if a woman does not shave she is labeled as a hippie, or a feminist, but how do you know if you have not talked to the person? I think that how you look should not be a defining factor. If people look different or dress differently, this does not offer any insight into what type of person they are, give them a chance and get to know them and DO NOT make any assumptions about them. Check my post about weird here, love the “weird” EMBRACE IT O.o.

The fact of the matter is that people jump to conclusions based on your appearance, and there is nothing we can do about that. However we can be the change we wish to see, and make the difference. If you yourself do not judge others based on their appearance then you have changed your ENTIRE world, the mind is a powerful thing.

~Ta

Confidence: Your Best Accessory; Use it, It's Free!

To me being confident is when you do not need to worry about anything or anyone else, and you know that you ultimately have the power to control your outcomes. This is what people pick up on the most, it is when someone can walk into a room and command the attention of the entire room. There was a time in my life when I lacked a lot of confidence, I was a socially awkward, freakishly tall, frizzy hair, and I would wear really weird shoes that were a size too big for my feet, and lets just say that people are not nice about anything that is different to them. Once I got a little older I realized that people’s words only hurt you when you are insecure, so I knew that I needed to gain confidence. If there is something about myself that is less than perfect, and it is in my power to change it I will. As the years went by I realized that in order to move forward with my life I had to become confident in who I am and embrace the person I have become. Once I became happy with who I was people no longer made these comments, because they could not pick up on my insecurities. I realized that the only thing that mattered was my happiness, and if I am happy with who I have become no one can change that.

My sister and I went to the store the other day, and both of us are tall people, as a result it is hard for us to find long clothes that fit us, lucky for us we walked into the right store. The woman that was working at the store was a fellow tall person, and we got to talking about how there simply are not decent clothes for us to wear, then the conversation shifted to how others react to us being tall. Our friends and family are constantly talking about how we need to lower ourselves in photos so that we can “fit in”, or the fact the everyone tells us that we should not wear heels because we are tall enough without them and make them feel short. At the end of the conversation it was not about being “tall” it was about one’s level of confidence, I do not mind when people point out the fact that I’m tall. I love being tall, and I show it when I take pictures, and If I feel like wearing heels I will, deal with it. I am comfortable with my height and in some ways my height has shaped who I am and I will be confident no matter how much I stand out. One quote by Dr. Seuss comes to mind, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” … in my case literally!

I tend to stand out more than others because of my height, but that is not all people will see, there is more to me than being a tall person. People can smell confidence a mile away, it is all about how one carries one’s self. Others are able to pick up on how you feel about yourself just by looking at your self-presentation. Confidence is sexy ;)

Confidence is not something that grows on trees (unfortunately) it is something that each person needs to develop. Every person has different struggles that they need to overcome. At the end of the day the only thing that matters is your personality, and people cannot get to know you unless you let yourself shine through, the only way you can do that is to develop your confidence and allow others to get to know the “real” you.

~Be you.