I Am Not My Mistakes

Mistakes, we ALL make them, but how are our mistakes any worse or better than that of others? When I make a mistake and I learn from it, I will never intentionally make THAT mistake again. What gets under my skin is how others will always judge me for something that I did quite some time ago. I have learned from THAT mistake, however, THEY do not know that. For some reason people think they have the right to hold my error over my head for as long as I walk this planet. From this I have learned, that when others make mistakes, I have to remember that we are all humans striving to make a better life. A part of making that better life is to learn from our mistakes and become better people. We are forever changing and it is important that we all realize this fact not only about ourselves, but others around us as well. Along with learning from our mistakes we also have to offer others the opportunity to learn from their mistakes but we must never do it in a condescending manner.

I am not perfect! You are not perfect! So, why has society lead us to believe that our imperfections are something to hide and be ashamed of? Mistakes are one such imperfection. Imperfections make us human, it is proof that we are human. Making mistakes is an opportunity for learning and becoming a better version of yourself. If we make a mistake it is not the end of the world and if ANOTHER person makes a mistake, we need to realized that the world did not end, we are STILL here! :O The life lessons that YOU have learned not everyone has had the opportunity to learn them. Your life experiences and the lessons you learn shape your view of the world, and not everyone has the same worldview as you. When other people make a mistake, that is a part of their learning process. We should support one another’s personal development, by helping them see what is to be gained from the mistake. If we see that another person has made a mistake and we decide to stay silent, then we are apart of the problem and not the solution. Jesse Jackson once said, “Never look down on anybody unless you are helping them up.” If you are not planning on helping someone learn from their mistake, then you most definitely do not have the right to judge them for it and hold it against them forever.

We have all heard the phrase, “forgive and forget,” but what does that mean? Many people say that you are not really over a situation until you are able to forgive and forget, which is true, but I think it also has a lot to do with one’s inner peace. When people have wronged you in your life, you have the right to be angry and upset about it, however, holding on to that anger and resentment will not get you anywhere. If you hold a grudge over someone’s head for a long time it takes away at your inner peace. As my buddy, Buddha from another lifetime once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” If you preoccupy your time with what another person did in their past, you will miss out on the person they have become. I am not the same person I was yesterday, and I am most definitely not the same person I was back in high school or middle school. I have done thing in the past that I am not proud of and when I have the opportunity to make amends I do, but I do not want to be judged for the person I was and for the mistakes I have made. The people that I have wronged have the right to be mad, but how would they feel if the shoe was on the other foot? We have all done things that we are not proud of but being able to make amends with those people offers a sense of closure for both parties.

So when you have the power to give others another chance, do it! All we can do is hope that the other person has truly learned from their mistakes and move on.

L o V 3

What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, no mo’! Hahaha

There are four different types of love. First we have Storge, which is affection for someone within your family, such as a brother. The next type is Philia, which is the type of love you express for a friend, someone you see as your equal. Eros, the more common one, romantic love. Lastly we have Agape, which is unconditional love, the love that a parent feels for their child. With all of that in mind, how often do you say, “I love you,” to the ones you love? Those three little words can make a difference in someone’s life. However, it is not always about what is SAID to one another but how that expression is SHOWN. The truth is we “say” it all the time without even saying it. Actions speak louder than words and we say “I love you” through our actions. When we show people that we care for them it goes a long way, because as Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

How do you know when someone loves you?

Whenever you leave the house and your mom says to you, “drive safe!” Well of course, no one intends to get hurt or to hurt others while on the road. We try to be as safe as we possibly can, we do not NEED another person to tell us to be safe but the road is an unpredictable place and no one can perceive what will happen. Mom knows that whatever happens on the road is out of everyone's hands but that is her way of saying those three little words, I love you. When people in your life ask you if you have eaten or even ask the details of your day, this shows an interest in your life and that they hope you do not have stress. When a friend knows that you are having a crummy day, they will show you that they care and want to see you happy by listening, offering their advice and encouragement to resolve the situation at hand. Only someone who truly loves you will show an interest in your life and care for your well being.

When you were younger and you were sitting in the front seat of your parent’s car chances are you were not paying any attention to the road when all of a sudden your parent slams on his/her breaks. They impulsively throw their hand in front of you to keep you from hurting yourself. Their hand does not actually DO anything, if you are going to fly out the windshield, you WILL fly out whether the arm is there or not. The arm isn’t going to save you, but the fact that they put their arm there in the first place is a gesture that they care about you and your well being. Again, you flying out of the window is out of your parent’s control, but they do what they can to protect you. Putting the arm in front of you is the act of love.  

How do you express your love for someone?

It’s inevitable to feel love for the people in your life whether you call it love or not. The truth is that those feelings are indeed there and they are indicators of how much other people mean to you. Your appreciation and love for someone is expressed through the interactions you have with that person and how you celebrate them. There are many ways to express your love for someone and it doesn’t necessarily have to be by buying them cheesy-ass cards, chocolates, dinner and teddybears one day out of the entire year. What about the other 364 days? You can show your love and appreciation any day of the year by simply being physically and mentally present. If you really wanna buy someone something, then do it! Why do you NEED a “Hallmark Holiday” to buy a  gift for a  loved one?

To read more about our thoughts on Valentine’s day check out our post from last year here.

~L<3VE

“Adulthood.” Fake it 'Till You Make it.

Do we actually “grow up” or are we just trying to fool everyone around us into believing that we are functioning adults? Unfortunately, life did not come with a user’s manual. Society makes everything up and it is society that shapes the way we act according to our age. As we get older we gain responsibility and we gain maturity, but we are all different and we will all change at different rates. When we grow older we become mature, without even knowing it, but when it comes to how we feel about ourselves we never FEEL any different. (We did a post a while back on birthdays, and getting older if you want to read more on that subject just click here … do it now … but read it after you finish this!) Society, parents, aunts, and uncles tell us that we are supposed to act a certain way because of our age. There have been many times in my life where loved ones have approached me with questions to try and validate my “adulthood.” I have graduated university, and have supposedly entered the “real world,” but I am still that little kid, walking into a classroom full of other kids and not knowing what to expect. Yup I said it I do not have a single clue as to what I am doing, no matter how put together I seem.

When I was attending university, I was taken aback by something my mentor said to me. We were working through some grueling material that seemed next to impossible, but when we asked our mentor why she was making things so difficult for us, her answer was a simple one. She began to explain that if she set the bar higher than was expected, we will work as hard as we can, getting as close to that bar as humanly possible. If we did not make it there, it’s ok because chances are we made it higher than she expected us to. This made total sense to me because I have always looked to this quote by Les Brown in times for inspiration, “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.” Now, you must be wondering why I am bringing up this story .. well the reason is, reaching adulthood is the exact same thing. When life throws us different responsibilities, we must rise to the occasion. The reason we do not feel the full extent of being an “adult” is simply because the waves of responsibility are generously spaced out. We are forever changing, eventually we will be fully assimilated into adulthood, reaching the bar … whether we realize it or not. When those waves are hitting us, we do not think of it as becoming an “adult,” it is simply doing what we need to do in order to survive. When my mentor set the bar high, she did so, knowing that we would do whatever was in our power to reach that bar.

For many, age is a major milestone in one’s life. Reaching 18, 21 or 65, just to name a few, is something that many people celebrate with great pride, and I agree it should be! However, age is just a number, it does not speak to your maturity level and the amount of responsibility you have. When you reach adulthood you have to become mature, and you will inevitably accumulate responsibility, whether it be a mortgage, or parenthood or something as small as paying your cell phone bill. However, the things that we enjoy doing for fun will not change so easily. I have always enjoyed sitting down with my sketch book and seeing what I could come up with, or playing the occasional video game, or just acting stupid with my friends. These things may seem immature and childish to some but we are who we are, and we do what we need to do in order to make it in this game we call “life”. Growing older is out of our control, but what we make of our lives from day to day is completely and totally in our control.

Time is out of our hands, it will move forward no matter what we do or say, but do not lose the current moment, because you will never be who you are in this current moment again. You cannot stop the “growing-up” from happening, so you have to take the best out of it.

~With all of that, and a box of chocolates … NEVER forget what it is like to be a kid!