Failure OR Success? Who Decides?

We all want to succeed in life and that means something different to everyone. The dictionary definition of the word failure is the lack of success. So what does success mean? I thought you would never ask ... Success is defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. With all of this in mind, why is it that in human nature we think that our success is measured by the people around us? We look at people that are in similar situations as us and we think that we have failed somehow because we do not have our sh*t as together as it would SEEM. The truth is that we all need to NOT worry about other people because they have an idea of success that is much different than our own. We are unique individuals and we are on our own unique path, looking at others will not help us. Success is relative. Only YOU truly know what your aim and purpose are therefore, only YOU can determine if you have succeeded or not. People will always formulate an opinion but your opinion is the only one that matters. Keep your eyes on the prize, do not let yourself be bothered by outsiders. If you are too busy looking at others it will do more harm than good. When you compare yourself to others you will always find the ways in which they are better than you. We fixate on their success and do not take into consideration what the person has overcome. Don’t focus on others, if you do, you are spending less time working on your own SH*TUFF.

We have adopted a misconception of what success actually means and our notion of success has also shaped what we believe failure is. Our notion is socially constructed and has trickled into our educational system, making it extremely difficult for people to truly explore their passions. This stops people from walking on their own path because they have a fear of failing, they take the “safest” path because it guarantees success or they are too busy doing what is expected of them. If you are walking down a path that is not meant for you, that will affect your level of happiness which is directly connected to how successful you will become. We want to make the people in our lives happy, but we have to keep our own happiness in mind when we are walking our path. Our parents have influenced how we think and we always want to make the people who raised us proud, as a result we will define our own success based on what THEY want for us. Take time to figure out what it is that YOU want and not what others want for you.

Many people think that success is defined by the amount of money you got in the bank. However, if we treat money as the ONLY component to our success we will learn that it is not everything. Having money is great, but if you are not happy with your life, have you truly succeeded? There is more to life than what kind of car you drive or how big your house is, all of that is nothing if you are not living a fulfilling life. Measuring your success according to your bank account, will result in a depressing existence. You will constantly be trying to get more and never be satisfied. Nothing in life is guaranteed including success and ESPECIALLY the number in your bank account. Do not make “money” your main focus when you are trying to measure your level of success.

When do we fail? When we give up. There is nothing worse than setting out on a journey and not crossing the finish line. Nothing is impossible to accomplish. We make our own restrictions and convince ourselves that we cannot do something. As long as we are still actively working towards our goal we are succeeding, but the moment we stop BELIEVING that we can do it, we have failed. There are moments in life where we may fail at our goals regardless of how hard we have worked but there is a lot to gain from the experience altogether. We need to look at the glass as half full, focus on what you have and where you need to go. At the end of the day your accomplishments are always much greater than your failures. When working towards your goal, stick to it, achieve your full potential and figure out where you need to improve. Always try your best, so that at the end of the day you can say with full confidence that you gave it all that you had.

~Go be a success.

Compete Less, Support More

Many of us have been raised to only think about ourselves and how we can get ahead in life. Living in a very individualistic society we often put ourselves against one another, we have to work at being happy for others. Not everything has to be a competition where someone wins and the rest lose. In fact everyone has the potential to gain something positive even when they don’t think they got what they wanted. EVERYONE wants to succeed, there is room for everyone in this world to get to where they want to be, with or without your support. However your support will make a difference and it will show them that you care. So, why not be that support? Your support of one another will build lasting relationships. Learn to be genuinely happy for the people around you. It is a little known fact that when people have the support of those around them, they will do better.

Be a support for people in your life to show them that you care, build a community with them where everyone looks out for each other and genuinely cares about their physical and emotional well being. The word "competition," carries the tone for rivalry. If you are stuck in the mindset of competition, you will eventually push everyone away. You will only be left with your OWN achievements and no one to share them with. There is a time and place to be competitive, however being competitive ALL THE TIME is not ok … it makes you come across as a conceded know it all.

Competing with others also prohibits you from being happy for them when they reach THEIR goals. Learn to celebrate others, there is more to life than just YOU and YOUR personal affairs! You are only a tiny speck of stardust on this hunk of rock and there are a million other things that also matter. So don’t become solely fixated on your own goals because you will miss out on the accomplishments of those around you: your kids, your spouse, your siblings and your friends. You don’t want to be so focused on winning to the point that you forget about the people who are important.

Not everything has to be seen in terms of who is winning and who is losing. Putting yourself against others in order to win signifies that someone else has to lose. If you are losing in a situation, then try to be optimistic and see what you can learn from this experience. Dr Seuss once said, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” In every experience there is something to be gained, and sometimes it is difficult to find what that “thing” is. At times you will think that everything is going wrong but you must look for the light at the end of the tunnel because it IS there, you just have to find it. One cannot live a positive life with a negative outlook. A bad experience will leave you with scars, but those scars make you stronger. You wouldn't be stronger if it weren't for THOSE experiences. It is not about winning or losing, it IS about what you gain from the experience. Being too competitive will leave you to think that if you don’t win, you lose. The reality is that no one loses, everyone gains something. When you support others you too are winning.

When you help others succeed, you also succeed. The concept of winning and losing is absurd. Every experience you have, whether it is a good one or a bad one, it always offers you something to be gained. When people reach their goals they will remember how much you supported them and that act will not go unnoticed, you will become a part of their success. Be there for the people around you, become present in their lives. Help bring out the best in them and that will bring out the best in you! A little support goes a long way.

~ Compete less, support more.