Someone Needs to Hear YOU!

When I was younger, no one ever took the time to listen to me. Naturally, I did not place value on myself. I did not feel that what I had to say was important enough to say it, but as time went on I learned how to break out of my shell and I found my voice. I have also learned that one should use their voice to leave a positive mark on the world. As Maya Angelou said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

The first time I remember making a difference in someone’s life was when I was in middle school, and it was actually one of my teachers! At the time I did not realize how this moment would impact the rest of his life. This teacher was in his first year of teaching, and we were a difficult group of kids to work with, and that’s putting it lightly. We used to throw paper across the room and never did the work that was assigned to us. One day after class my teacher was walking around the room picking up all of the trash the students had thrown every which way. I stopped him and asked why he was picking up everyone’s trash and why he did not make everyone else pitch in to clean it up. He proceeded to tell me that we (students) were all “fools” and we cannot even do a simple task such as clean up. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being called a fool. So my response to him was, “We are only fools, because teachers like you do not teach us.” After I said those potentially damaging words to my teacher, I left the room.

I did not understand the gravity of my words, I was just being a “sassy” preteen. The next day the teacher came to me before class, and said, “Hareena, you were right,” and from that day forward the class was run very differently. But all that aside, my teacher, someone I am supposed to look up to as a role model, was telling me that I was right. At the time I still did not understand the weight my words brought to this educator, but all these years later I am aware of how I made a difference. I made him rethink his job, his livelihood.

Many years later I have come to learn that I have a voice, I maybe the youngest in my family, but I too have value, I CAN make a difference. When I became a student at UC Berkeley, I kind of “stumbled” into the Leadership Institute. By the time I got to UC Berkeley, I became the stereotypical quiet Indian girl in the corner of the classroom, but through my leadership experience I found my voice. This new voice was not the same voice of the “sassy” preteen, this voice had a little more understanding, but it still lacked value. I always like to hear what others have to say before I speak up, but I still felt that what I had to say was not helpful. By the time I graduated, I realized that if I do not place value on what I have to say then no one else will either.

When I moved back home after college it was hard. I felt that I was losing that voice that I was so proud of. I am always going to be the youngest in my family, and my voice is always going to be belittled, only because I am still seen as the little girl I was many years ago. This was a test for my voice. I realized that I have the right to express my opinions and if no one is listening to ME that is THEIR loss. Writing blog posts for you all is another way I keep my voice, and I wanna hear your voice … down below!!! You know the DRILL!!!

The main take away is this, TALK!!! You do not know what kind of impression you will leave on someone else, so make it a positive one! Back in the Valentine's day post we wrote about a TED talk by Drew Dudley, on leadership. Dudley talks about how we as people are leaders without even knowing it, and we need to let the people around us know that they have made a positive impact on our lives. Dudley calls this point in time the “Lollipop moment,” this is the exact moment in time when the other person made the impact. My teacher back in middle school had this “Lollipop moment” with me. I encourage you … no, no, I challenge you to give someone a “Lollipop moment” within the next week! Good luck and let me know how It goes.

~The Voice be with you, Always!

Attacked: Not Just A Woman’s Issue

This is a story about a young lady who was walking back home from a late study group on the Berkeley campus. It was about 11 pm when suddenly in the distance she saw a suspicious person, he was wearing all black and white shoes, he was lurking in the darkness behind a big tree. He popped out behind her and began to touch her inappropriately. The woman was in shock and tried to fight him off, and tried to draw attention to the situation but there was no one around this late. He didn’t want to get caught so he fled the scene. Still in shock the young woman did not know what to do or who to turn to. Should she report what just happened  to the proper authorities? Will anything ever come of what she had to say? The fact of the matter is that this could happen to anyone anywhere, male or female.

Constantly hearing about sexual assaults has got me enraged beyond belief. Just Monday, May 12th, a woman was sexually assaulted, her attacker was detained, but only to be released a few hours later. Authorities found there wasn’t enough evidence to keep him in custody. The attacker did not comply to register as a sex offender and was only ordered to stay away from the campus for seven days… This “slap on the wrist” is a poor attempt to fix the problem, in my opinion. This guy only had to stay away for 7 days, whereas the young woman has to live with what happened for the rest of her life.

There is a stigma that is attached with sexual assault, and that is placing the blame on the victim, but that is NEVER the case. Placing the blame on what the victim was wearing or how much they had to drink, how they are walking, even how they speak, does not make sexual assault okay.This makes me sick. A woman should not have to feel that she is the one to blame for being assaulted. Wearing provocative clothing does not grant permission to sexual abuse. Let’s not forget who the bad person is. The one committing the crime should be held accountable for his or her actions. Everyone should be free to wear whatever they want, drink as much as they want and dance however they want, and not feel unsafe. It’s in human nature to point the finger and blame others, and it is easier to blame the person you know (victim) than the person you don’t know(attacker).

The policies that we have in place can favor the attacker, like the one in the article. There was not enough evidence so he was free to go while the victim was left emotionally scarred. This is a terrible system to go through because the victim has to relive the pain over and over again throughout the process, only to find that it’s a waste of time and effort. It would be worse to not say anything about it regardless of the outcome. It’s important to raise awareness so that others can take safety measures to avoid or minimize being attacked. Unfortunately our society focuses on how to not get attacked instead of teaching not to attack.

The issue is that we live in a patriarchal society, formed and governed primarily by men which does not favor the needs of women. Before Women’s Rights were introduced to the table, women were treated like second class citizens and that still stands true today. The fact that this country has yet to have a female president shows that America is still stuck in the past, and the fight to bring equality for men and women is not fully resolved. Studies have shown that men have better paying salaries than women. It shows that there is room for improvement, not everything is as equal as it should be since the attempts to gain Women’s Rights. I want to stress this is a conversation is about human rights in general.

If there is someone that needs your help, don’t go blaming them for what happened. As Jesse Jackson once said, “Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.” remember that no one asks to get attacked and all we can do is to offer our friendship and support and be understanding.

If you would like to read about Monday’s Assault here is the link:

http://www.contracostatimes.com/news/ci_25757482/uc-berkeley-police-seek-publics-help-sexual-assault

Live, Love, and Let Live