One of my major pet peeves is when someone gives me some lame, bullsh*t, half-truthed excuse, like I am too dumb to see through the lies. When people do that, it is an insult to my intelligence, and it speaks to their character and what values they hold close to them. I do not and I will never understand people’s need to lie impulsively. What do they gain from lying or telling half-truths? Do they have a fear of what the outcome may be? If so they cannot control it anyways, so why lie? The truth always has a way of coming to the surface, whether we know it or not.
There have been countless times where I have been lied to and I know that I am being lied to, but I choose to say nothing. I cannot control what people say or do, but I can control my reaction. However, there is still that little voice in the back of my head that is still wondering why that person lied, what are they afraid of? What are they hiding? Did I do something to offend them? When it comes to understanding liars, it is not about what can be gained, but it is about what is being covered up out of fear for the truth. I have been lied to about tiny things such as the texture of one’s hair, or whether or not they use deodorant, one way or another it doesn't change the person standing before me and when they lie they are actually relieving a part of who they are whether they mean to or not. The fact that they lied about something so insignificant tells me that this person is insecure about who they are, and simply cannot face the truth. No matter what the reason is for the lie it tells me that they simply cannot be trusted. They may be hiding so much more that I do not know about. I do not let these lies get to me simply because this person does not hold a significant role in my life, but I just cannot get my head around the “WHY.”
Many people tell lies to spare other’s feelings, but they are just excuses so that they do not have to face the truth. When it boils down to it, are you actually sparring the other person’s feelings or are you just prolonging and amplifying the hurt? The truth is that when it comes out, (and I say “when” because it will happen eventually) the other person will also have to deal with the fact that someone dear to them has lied. Honesty is respected, I would rather hear the harsh truth than beautiful lies. I will appreciate the fact that the other person respects me enough to tell me the truth, and the respect will be returned. Whereas if someone told me a lie I would not hold them to any value in my life, I would even go as far as to say they do not hold a PLACE in my life. The aftermath of a lie is much more harsh than that of the truth.
What harm comes from simply telling the truth? We have all heard girls say they cannot go somewhere because they have “to wash their hair.” Sorry ladies, but that is just an EXCUSE they use because they do not want to do something, and to me that is an extension of a lie. How hard is it to simply say that they do not wish to do whatever it is they are trying to get out of? Is it out of fear for conflict? As I mentioned before, is lying better than dealing with the fallout of the truth? For as long as I have been a girl, I have NEVER used that excuse because it is not very honest. One needs to reevaluate their life if they let something as insignificant as their HAIR prevent them from doing something. Just be honest with yourself and the people around you. Being anything but honest is pointless, and the person that is being lied to will begin to question EVERYTHING the liar has ever said leading them to wonder who the person really IS. Being dishonest adds extra stress to one’s life, as Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
When someone lies they are not only labeled as a liar but they will also be seen as being sneaky, dishonest, two-faced, untrustworthy … just to name a few … try getting a job with those words on your resume! It is not about what other’s think of you. You should never live your life according to what others think, being an honest person is something that lives within us and it dictates how we feel on the outside. In order to be a good person one needs to practice honesty, even in the simplest of settings in one’s life. Being honest with the people in your life shows your character, and it speaks to your values.
“The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.” ~Zig Ziglar
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